I have been with my current partner for 2 yrs. i have known him for 10yrs and when we started dating we both knew we wanted to be 2gether 4ever and marry. Some bad things happened during the course of our relationship and we have both made many mistakes and are trying to get things better. He is wonderful to my 5 yr old son & we recently moved into his lovely home. B/c we have really had some things rock our boat, marriage seems farther away. it sux b/c as much as i want this to work and be happy i want a proper family and more children eventually. he says we need to get things better 1st which i agree with but i also feel embarrased in a way to just be living together. i want so much more than that & he was the 1 who brought it up that we would be married by now in the 1st place a long time ago. anyway, things make me nervous b/c we arnt married and we are trying to patch some things up in our relationship so i have had to resort to thinking about what i would do if things didnt
2006-10-13 12:26:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
work out. i hate ding this as i feel like in a sense i am starting to think too independently and wonder if this will have a negative effect. its just if he had us move out, i have not finished college, would be a single mom really struggling, etc. so, i have this like mental backup plan and it makes me sad that i even have it as i just want things to work for us. i guess i just feel so lacking in confidence over the whole thing. everythme i tell him i want a family (i dont really like living 2gether before marriage & didnt think it would last this long till we started having problems) he says we need to fix things. its hard though b/c i feel like in a sense i want the commitment first then i will be more motivated to save this and he feels like if i fix it first it will show i am motivated and commited but i am tired of floating around. i want a real marraige, & not to feel this unsettled. HELP!
2006-10-13 12:31:01 · update #1
at the present time we are kind of giving each other space to fix things which makes me feel even more unsettled. do i keep up witht he back up plan or what? ahhhh! killin me.
2006-10-13 12:35:15 · update #2
You should patch all your things up before you decided on marriage than talk about getting married.
2006-10-13 12:32:26 · answer #1 · answered by shortcakes_maple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you are stressed out. Hopefully he is honest and was not laying the tracks to get back with her. I think he may have just needed closure and he did the only way he knows how. I think you two will be ok. You have been together for a long time, that is a lot of history and I am sure the future is secure. Don't get to worked up try and get some sleep you will be fine. Good luck
2016-05-21 23:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by Beth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are both the adults here. Sit down and make a game plan to clear up the things that are still issues. How will you know when its time to talk marriage if you don't have set goals?
Have you thought about moving out of his house? You don't sound too happy about living together instead of being married. If that is one of the issues, you can solve it by finding your own place.
It is time for you to both decide the steps needed to move forward. Your relationship is at a stand-still. It needs to move forward or die.
2006-10-13 12:34:36 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he wants his cake and eat it too... commitment and relationship are very serious and important factors if it is going
to work between you two... "It needs to get better first" is not a
me or I thing it is a we and our thing... One of you will not be able to make this work and you will grow farther apart as the doubts grow... It never hurts to have a plan B in your head, but you should put your efforts into plan A, your current situation..
2006-10-13 12:46:22 · answer #4 · answered by RiverRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is this,Why rush the marriage thing? If he is the one for you, you will wait until he is ready. And if he isn't the one for you, then you know you need to move onto Plan B and take care of yourself and your child. The winner in all this will be you, just have the courage to KNOW what YOU want and move forward with it. Good luck and stay strong.
2006-10-13 13:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the time go . You want something change but he doesn't want right now. He is right to wait if everything is really going to work. If is going to be you can see 2 years from today.
2006-10-13 12:32:12 · answer #6 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmmm.....
Carpe Diem!
2006-10-13 12:53:06 · answer #7 · answered by afrodyzyak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to make ur thoughts clear to him... communication's the key
2006-10-13 12:29:20 · answer #8 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋