A couple years back my wife had an affair and we seperated.
I then quickly found a woman (2 maybe 3 weeks later) who was also seperated to have fun with. Since I didn't start my relationship until after I was seperated I don't see anything wrong with it.
However, since then my wife and I did get back together. So did I cheat or was it okay for me to have a relationship with that woman at the time?
2006-10-13 11:41:13 · 24 answers · asked by snack_daddy10 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW, I never hid the other woman from my separated wife. She knew almost from the beginning that I was see another woman. And the intent of the separation was divorce.
2006-10-13 11:55:32 · update #1
Yeah you cheated because you were not DIVORCED when you took up with the other woman. Seperation doesn't mean you can play around, you are still legally married when seperated, which means you cheated.
2006-10-13 20:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all depends on what you and your wife define as cheating. Did you two separate with the intent of divorce and things just recently worked out for you two to be together again?
Maybe you needed someone to talk to but, if the relationship with the other woman turned more intimate I would consider *that* cheating. It's a difficult situation especially since you mentioned that your wife had an affair. It is very difficult to rebuild that trust once it is lost.
Marriage is something that people don't take seriously these days and it's a HUGE commitment that takes an enormous amount of time and energy.
I wish you both the best as you rebuild your relationship!
2006-10-13 11:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by cardangelmica 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did you cheat? Depends on who you ask. If what you're really asking here is if you and your wife are "even" now then the answer is no. She was unfaithful behind your back and while in the context of a marriage with you. You carried on your affair in the open and under the pretense of an impending divorce. The two are hardly similiar. Marriage conisists of a relationship being legally acknowledged. While the courts were still acknowledging your marriage during yoru separation, you and your wife were NOT and that must be taken into consideration.
2006-10-13 12:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Legal separation is also known as "separate maintenance," is also called a "divorce from bed-and-board". Therefore you were practically divorced from the bed and could jump into another woman bed. Some of the states though consider a sexual relation of separated persons as an adultery, (South Carolina for example) But it is all meaningless, you were hurt by your wife, and you found way to relieve your suffering in other woman arms and you should not worry whether your wife calls it cheating , she was the reason for it not you.
2006-10-13 12:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
"CuervoBMed" is right, separated are not you were still married. Did you separate as a cool off period, or with plans to divorce. Cool of period meaning we're getting our hearts & minds together, bring someone else into that isn't helping your current situaration. Knowing that you have come to terms with what has happened and no longer wish to be in the marrige, so you are seperateing with plans to divoce. Not cheating! So depends on what was said in regards to the two of you seperating.
2006-10-13 11:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't cheat. Unless when you separated you and your wife agreed to a 'no dating other people rule' then you're fine. That's part of a separation is 'testing the waters' to some degree to find out if the person you are married to is still what you need. It's also a time to remember who you are at your core and see how you've grown and changed and if You are still in the right relationship. After all, the word is 'separate'! If you weren't meant to see other people then y'all shouldn't have separated!
2006-10-13 11:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see different opinions here, but every person has their own opinion and belief.
Myself, I do not consider that cheating because you was separated, and the lady was separated.
Was it right? I do not see any harm in it. When I was separated I messed around, and I do not feel guilty about it. I never asked her did she fool around, because of the separation.
Remember, you are not going to get a honest answer from every person that replies to your question. How do you know that none of us have not cheated that are answering your replies?
Do you feel guilty?
2006-10-13 12:06:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were seperated then it wasnt cheating. Unless you told your partner you were seperated with you were on a break to think, and she thought you were being faithful. I guess it all depends on what was said behind closed doors. If it was thought you wouldnt get back together, and she was with another man, then nope, not cheating.
2006-10-13 12:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by justamama5 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Either both of you call it even and put it in the past or get a divorce. You can't linger on this period of mistakes made by the both of you or your relationship will go down like the Titanic. Yes, you both cheated.
2006-10-13 11:51:26 · answer #9 · answered by CuervoBMed 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were still married and not legally separated. So long as you were working to get back together, yes you were cheating.
2006-10-13 11:43:22 · answer #10 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋