Married couple working on hier marriage after it was discoved that the wife was cheating. Since then she has said hat she wants to work on the marriage. Here goes the question:
When an individual tells you that they love you, but they are not in love with you. Can he marriage work out in time. I believe that you cannot learn to love someone if you can make that statement. What do you think. Should I stay and see if it works out or fly. Thanks....
2006-10-13 10:47:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well I don't think that this one is going to work out. First of all it is VERY hard to get past a affair to begin with....but when someone tell you that they are not in love "With you" but they love you how can it work. I love my dogs, I love my beer, I love a good steak.....but I am not IN LOVE with them....see what I mean? I could do without any of them..well maybe not my dogs *S* BUT I could NOT do without the one I am In Love with.
I think its time to move on.
Best of luck
2006-10-13 10:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK....she was cheating but after being caught says she wants to work on the marriage.
She may be feeling a sense of loss over her lover, compounded by guilt and shame. I would stick around for a while, see how much she is willing to work on the relationship.
My wife cheated on me...the first thing I insisted on was no more contact with the other man. The second thing was tests for HIV and STD's. (the had unprotected sex)
Try not to make any life altering decisions for at least six months. Do a on-line search for "Affair discovery and recovery" Its a fantastic support group.
2006-10-13 11:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People go through so many things in a lifetime of marriage! There might be years that you two don't even like one another. After fifty or more years, you will be Glad you stayed together.
2006-10-13 10:52:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate that line that's just a cop out!!!(I love you but.....) You get just exactly what you put into a marriage...If you want it bad enough you can make it work but it can't be all one sided...Both parties involved are truly willing then go for it....If not then fly as you say...Follow your heart....
2006-10-13 10:55:48 · answer #4 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a statement like hat would pretty much mean that you have grown apart and the love has lost its spark... What I'm saying is to love a person but to not be in love with , she is looking for more in a relationship , she cares for you , but is looking to be free to find what she is longing for...
2006-10-13 10:57:13 · answer #5 · answered by Sheena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I think you should pray about it, then you yourself, do you want this marriage to work? If so sit down with her an discuss it, if you to decide to make it work get marriage counciling before u to do anything else.
2006-10-13 10:56:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH!!!
Been there.
Separate.
There is no reason to live in limbo because she thinks she isn't "in love" with you.
Don't be mean about it and don't be generous. BE FAIR.
She may be feeling complacent and not realize what you do or figure you will just take her cr*ap and not say anything.
When you love someone you want to be in their life. I think its time to find out how much she wants to be in your life.
2006-10-13 11:26:33 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the person you are in love with isn't in love with you, why stay and subject yourself to getting hurt again. You deserve to be with someone that will love you AND be IN love with you.
2006-10-13 10:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i dont think it can my husband said he loved me but not in the same way as before, and thats not enough for me in a relationship so we've just split after 9yrs and 2 kids
2006-10-13 10:57:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave unless you don't mind the situation.But i for one want the person i marry to be totally IN love with me.
2006-10-13 13:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by flexduty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋