My boyfriend says I don't respect him as a man because I always throw in his face how much money I make. Am I wrong for advising him I pay most of the bills and he should atleast clean up??
2006-10-13 10:05:14 · 19 answers · asked by missadrian05 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No he has a job, but just does not make very much money.. I make in one week what he makes in about a month!!
2006-10-13 10:11:53 · update #1
Well......... I would not put it that way, I can see how he could feel. Does he work? If no and you are OK with that, then he should be doing the housework. If the answer is yes, then it is not who makes the most money, it is who has the time. What you both need to do is sit down and talk about what you and he expects. Make a plan to work together on things if you both work. Something like you do the laundry, the cooking, and the dusting he washes the dishes, the vacuuming and cleans the bathroom.
If both people in a relationship are working, they should both contribute to the housekeeping also. It has nothing to do with who makes the most money, believe me. How would you like it if you worked hard and he said to you that because he makes more, you should do the housework. That is just not fair and if you keep throwing it up to him you will loose him.
2006-10-13 10:14:04 · answer #1 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well who are you trying to prove something to. There really is no need to throw the amount of your earnings in someone face. If this is the man that you love why would you want to make someone feel bad by throwing how much you give to the household. If you two share a home what comes in the home is for the both of you. Yes he should contribute to the household upkeep, just cause he makes less and or works less, doesn't mean one should do more than the other. Your home upkeep is the responsibility of both of you, and if he's not taking on that responsibility of doing his share. There is a more mature way of explaining to him that " Hey this is both our home, and we need to both take care of it equally".
2006-10-13 17:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by bdancer43 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is embarrassed by the situation and your advice is coming across wrong in his mind. Maybe you should take a different approach to the situation. Instead talk to him about both of your responsibilities in this relationship. Find out what he is thinking when he looks to the future. You may find that he has a good plan and things will eventually get better or you may see that he has no desire to improve his situation beyond what it is and that maybe you two aren't right for each other.
2006-10-13 17:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He already knows you make more money and pay most of the bills...so why throw it up to him? If the situation was reversed, would you want him to throw it up to you? As long as both of you are working you should both share in household chores. If his wages and sloppiness is unacceptable...don't get married, and find a place on your own asap
2006-10-13 17:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he didnt work then yes you can tell him whatever , but he works also , it doesnt matter how much he makes HE HAS A JOB.Be grateful for that . He's out there working just like you so why don't you clean up as well , do it together. Be careful girl you keep acting like this he will leave you.
2006-10-13 17:16:33 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try (seriously...) to talk to him when you guys are both in good humor one night. Just bring it up but don't fight with him. You have to refuse to fight or this will never work.. Talk to him and tell him that you'd like him to help you out more around the house or whatever... and DON'T bring up the bills. That's sad. You should be happy your man works period. Mine doesn't...
2006-10-13 17:10:40 · answer #6 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 28, I have 3 kids, and my wife stays home.I'm not that selfish.Maybe the guy needs a better job,and maybe you should shut up about how much you make.
2006-10-13 17:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by airwimp 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
respect is earned, not given! you might want to ease up though on throwing in his face that you make more than him...maybe you both just need time away from each other to relax and re-evaluate your relationship.
2006-10-13 17:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably DON'T respect him. An uneven relationship does nothing but cause resentment for both people. I'd back out of the relationship.
-MM
2006-10-13 17:07:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
men can be very intimidated by a woman who earns more then he does. don't let it upset you. If he doesn't like the fact that you make more then he does, they maybe he should get a better job, and stop bitching
2006-10-13 17:13:57 · answer #10 · answered by nycgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋