the consequences of advising....?

Question

my brother is a smoker , and i talk to him about everything except this thing ,i dont like 2talk 2him about it ,i really want him to quit but im afraid to make him upset with me speacially that im younger than him cuz im sure he knows the consequences of smoking even the little children know that so...someone told me that" people who dont love you dont advise you" so now im feeling some guilt and i feel that im selfish and hypocrite,too.
Do you advise ppl you love even that make them angry,annoyed,upset or whatever.and if you dont, does that mean that u r hypocrit and selfish.

thank u very much for ur advices
ive noticed that there r a couple of smokers responding to the question with abit anger ,cuz smoking is controling their modes,and thats really what makes me sad about my brother.

Answer 1

Why do you need to advice him for? Don't you think he knows smoking is unhealthy? Don't you think he will quit when he wants to? I am a smoker, and i hate that people are always telling me what to do! Makes me smoke more! And i surely don't wanna quit because of that! That should be my own choice! People can start telling me what i don't know instead of what i already heard a thousand times before!

Answer 2

You can advise your brother not to smoke and let him know you are concerned about his health. He may not like it but you can tell him you are only concerned because you love him and care about him. Other than that there is not much else you can do. Just let him know how you feel once in a while, don't nag him about it. He will only quit if he wants to. It is really hard for most people to quit smoking. It's easier to never start than it is to quit. Don't ever start and of course you will never have to worry about quitting. If he gets mad about you talking to him about smoking, he will get over it because he's your brother. If you talk to him now and then about it, you won't have to feel like you are a hypocrite or that you are selfish.

Answer 3

Take a deep breath, and swallow your heart hun.

" I have something very important I need to talk about. I need you to just listen" Can you do that?

There is you opening line, it is left open ended so he is sure to say "yes" because he loves you.

This is where you let it all out.

Here is your closing line:

I understand if you are angry, or hurt by this and thats ok. You need to know that I love you and I wouldn't say anything if I didn't care.

By wording it like that you can relieve yourself of any guilt that you might have felt if nothing was ever said. Bottom line you tried and he is free to make his own decisions and he will have to deal with the consequences.

Hope this helped Good Luck

Answer 4

I advise my friends because I love them if I don't advise them then yeah I feel alittle guilty. Not only because I'm selfish, but because I could of made a difference in my friends life. Help friends and family to make the right decisions, if they choose not to follow, then that's their choice.

Answer 5

Unsolicited advise is rarely heeded. A person will stop smoking when he or she has had enough of the coughing, odor, exhaustion, expense and alienation - and not a minute before. While you love your brother, your pleading will only cause him to distance himself from you. Then you both lose. My advise to myself in these situations is "Mind my own business". Good luck and love him anyway.
-MM

Answer 6

No not at all hon!you sound like a sweet lovable sister anyone would wish they have!i think you should really follow what your heart and mind tells you.which i think is to advise your brother!and you can tell him what you have asked in here aswel and he will see the cute side of this and not get angry.you just try to approach him when he is in a good mood and advise him wisely :-) . i wish you get what you want and best of luck!
hope your brother quits smoking! :)

Answer 7

If you already talked to him about this then I don't think you should bring it up again. He will eventualy get angry and probaly start avoiding you if you don't just let it go. He knows what you think about his smoking. You have done your part, now just be his sister and let it go.

Answer 8

if you want to tell him your feelings then tell him because you love him he should understand he might not take any notice but at least you could try.

Answer 9

so,
"people who dont love you dont advise you" "

People that love me tell me what to do???
or
People that love me advise me????
hmmm...

not unless I ask them too(advise me).!!!!!!!

.

I get away from bossy people if I can.
.
don't you?
.
.
I sometime talk about myself, how "I" handle the situation that I don't like in them. That someti.mes causes them to go away tho.
.

.