This is not happening to me, as previously thought by other answers, this is in response to several questions and answers I have seen in this forum. I have reworded the question as there was some confusion. Politeness is appreciated.
2006-10-13 09:58:06 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no, not if you really love that person. if you care about what upsets them and hurts them, then you won't do the things that make them feel that way.
2006-10-13 11:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by benjis.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all relationships there is a certain level of give and take in terms of what is and ins't appropriate to maintain the desired level of mutual and exclusive intimacy. For some people, long glances or even speaking casually to a member of the opposite sex is cause for jealousy. The question isn't "Is this right or wrong" but is it acceptable in your relationship. All couples need to decide what is appropriate, but when one partner's view of what accpetable jealousy is differs from the others in such a way as to cause unnecessary friction, then there is something wrong.
You need to work with your partner to find a level that is comfortable to both of you. Personally I'd say "looking" at members of the opposite sex is fine and someone who is hurt by something so innocuous may have larger comittment and abandonment issues, but this is my own personal feeling. Some women (or men) may feel that pornography is too extreme, some may feel that their woman can dance and flirt with other men without threatening their relationship. It is all very personal and between the couple and not the judgement of their friends or relatives!
2006-10-13 10:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, this would be a two part answer. First of all, if something you're doing is hurting your partner, then no, it's not ok - no matter what it is. You need to have consideration for his/her feelings if you expect them to do the same for you! Now, secondly, there's that old saying "you can read the menu, but you just can't order!" If you enjoy looking at the opposite sex, lusting, fantasizing, whatever - then do it when your partner is NOT with you! And again, look but don't touch! Flirting is NOT ok either - that puts it in a whole new category. Flirting means your trying to tempt someone, and that leads to cheating. If you truly care about your mate, then you would be do your best to be consciously aware of your behavior - behavior that might hurt him/her. If you just can't stop yourself, then possibly your not happy in the relationship and should reconsider where you stand.
2006-10-13 10:04:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh. Sorry if my reply initially was rude.
Looking in lust sounds like gawking. Well, that's disrespectful. I'll put it like this. Looking is okay. Even a comment is okay. That shows that you aren't being sneaky. Driving the point home that you are so hot and bothered that you want to just go tackle the person.....is not cool. No conduct should be demonstrated that would go overboard enough to cause jealousy. But if the significant other is just hypersensitive................that is THEIR bad. And they need to go get some counseling and some confidence.
Low self confidence and low self esteem STILL is ugly!
2006-10-13 10:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by lilac b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nO .. its normal to feel human attractions to other human beings ..same sex or opposite sex .now the only thing that I can see wrong about it , Is if you are in a committed relationship and you act out this attraction towards the person NOT IN your relationship..So I have always found it best for everyone in general to be open and honest and if you feel that you are going to kiss touch or sleep with someone other than your partner..HEY GUESS WHAT ITS TIME TO BREAK UP!! It happens to the best of us..We don't have react on impulse but we can always at least be considerate enough to let go and move on.... Much peace Misty~*
2006-10-13 10:03:57 · answer #5 · answered by Misty love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never lust only look and acknowledge that would be fair to him or to you if you we're in his shoe it comes down to the simple stop and think how okay I have a really great guy right here don't be shallow he's cute but not that cute get over it quickly!!!
2006-10-13 10:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by pinkeypeekaboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that there are always going to be people that you find attractive (whether or not they are your bf/gf or husband/wife)? Can you control that? It is up to you whether you decide to act on that. I know that my boyfriend sees hot women. Does he tell me about them? No.
I don't think it's polite to gawk and drool over other people when you're with your partner. Fantasies are fantasies. If you can't stop lusting after someone, maybe you're missing something from the relationship you're in.
2006-10-13 10:05:13 · answer #7 · answered by Ilovepeanutbutter 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
be as nice as i can be in my answer, lust is just a normal thing in life. you can lie and say you don't look with lust in your eyes or thoughts. but it is as normal as pulling up your pants in the morning. i know my husband looks and it really doesn't bother me because he does it with respect. he never makes it obivous that he is even looking. so many will differ on this subject , but i feel it is normal. i still do it as long as i have been married. but that doesn't mean i will act on the looks i am sure is all over me.
2006-10-13 10:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's something that you know your partner is uncomfortable with or doesn't like, and you do it anyway, it's disrespectful.
That being said, it's impossible to "not look" at other people. But to stare and lust after them if you know it makes your partner uncomfortable is disrespectful of the partner.
2006-10-13 10:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 25 years and he can look at all the women any way he wants to as long as he doesn't touch them. Besides if it hurts your partner for you to look at other people lustfully then they have a problem with their own self esteem not with the partner looking at other people. You can look at other people it's natural but be respectful of your partner's feelings.
2006-10-13 10:01:52 · answer #10 · answered by Scooter Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know it hurts them to see you do that in front of them, then why would you do that? It's perfectly okay to notice and look, we are only human and we check out others--it's human nature. However, don't do it to intentionally hurt your partner, or play the silly "make them jealous" game. Notice, look, and get over it...
2006-10-13 10:05:08 · answer #11 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋