How do I convince my bf to throw away stuff he doesn't need?

Question

A diehard packrat, he swears he'll need it one day and I am desperately trying to reduce clutter. If he sees me going through his stuff, he's right there next to me, taking out of the trash anything I have thrown out. I'm running out of room...

Any ideas?

The whole point of my question was to figure out how to REDUCE CLUTTER. All of you telling me not to throw it away... You are not answering the question...

Answer 1

What I did is I went threw the stuff as I was cleaning and started throwing stuff away myself. He was mad but I was on him for a month about . A girls got to do what a girls got to do. lol

Answer 2

He sees you as trying to throw away his valuable stuff. It's a control issue.How about renting a storage unit? Put his valuable stuff in there. Then when the time is right, talk to him about time limits. That if he doesn't use it with in a year, perhaps he should consider getting rid of it. Don't try to force him or argue with him about it, then it will become a power struggle. Also, try looking up his valuable stuff on e-bay and show him how much it is worth, and if is worth under a certain dollar amount, perhaps he can throw it away, and if he finds in the future that he needs it, you'll buy him a new (used) one.
If a storage unit isn't feasible, talk to him about putting a limit on how much he can keep in a designated storage area. He then picks his most favorite junk and stores it in the designated area such as a closet or for X amount of space in the garage. That way he is part of the decision making process, and you are not the evil one forcing him to toss out his treasures. Once that area is full, nothing new can be added until and equal volume is removed.
Hopefully he can realize that no one can keep everything, and that a clutter free home will make you feel less anxious and irritable.

Answer 3

Instead of throwing the stuff away, try organizing it and putting it away in a place where you guys store things. That way, you're not throwing anything out, but you are reducing clutter in a way that shows respect for his things. Plus, it'll look organized, neat, and clean.

My mother is a notorious pack rat and that's the only thing that ever worked for us.

Edited to add: So you're dead set on throwing stuff out. In my experience, the only way to handle this is to agree for him to watch you, show him an item you want to trash, and let him tell you whether you can throw it out or not. The trick to this is that when he says "no" to something you think should be thrown out, you cannot show that it bothers you. Happily put it back and move on to something else. The idea is if you allow him to have the control, he'll be more likely to go through with throwing things out.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I have an Aunt, a mother-in-law, a brother-in-law & my dad has a neighbor like this. Trust me, it will NOT get any better..... My husband & I have tried to get his mom to have a garage sale or SOMETHING just to clean out the stacks & stacks of stuff she has in every conceivable nook & cranny but she won't do it, because she MAY NEED IT!! Same with my Aunt & my husband's brother. My dad's neighbor's house is over flowing with stuff & he just brings home more. I think it is a compulsion of some kind. Like they can't help it. I swear, if these people ever moved or ??? & someone had to go in & clean these places out, not only would there be bugs & most likely rodents, but I think their houses would deflate when the stuff was removed.
As for my mother-in-law, I just tell my husband that it is her house & if she wants to live like that o.k., but for you, I feel for you. My husband has a three year rule....
If he keeps something he thinks he might need, he keeps it for three years. If he has not used it in three years HE throws it out. I have never been one for hanging on to things really. There are many sentimental family items I have that I will not part with but as for buying a lot of new things or things I "THINK" I might need, NO!!!! I hate to shop!!!
Good luck with this, my advise is to set some VERY DEFINATE RULES!!!! & SOME VERY DEFINATE LIMITS!!!! Because I have noticed that as the Packrat ages, this compulsion gets worse....


O.K. HOW ABOUT THIS???? MAKE "HIM" RENT A STORAGE UNIT & MAKE "HIM" PAY FOR IT. MAYBE IF HE HAS TO SPEND SOME MONEY TO KEEP HIS " TREASURES" HE WILL CUT BACK. BUT DON'T COUNT ON IT. Like I said I think this is a compulsion & I wonder if they can even help themselves.....

Answer 5

One Night when he comes home ask him if he has considered moving to a larger place when he asks why, tell him that we are running out of space and if he insist on saving all of these precious belongings that it is going to be down to a choice of moving and using this space for storage or Rent a storage facility so we can have a place to live That isn't so cluttered

Answer 6

I know the feeling, been there with my husband and the funny thing is that - if you do it he will not even notice, but if you ASK he will say NO WAY......this is a tough one, there is not way unless you throw them away yourself and then one day you innocently confess your sin but there might be a chance this never happens because he might never notice. NOW, I am talking about JUNK. BUT...what is junk for us may not be junk for him and then we go to another problem: this is to lack respect and then we go back to the starting point again.........well, I guess if you find the recipe, just tell me because I too don't know what to do. THere is one last idea: try to trade with him. For example, if he does this, you will do that, the best way is always to COMPROMISE. Maybe it works, who knows, right? Good luck.

Answer 7

My advice would be to stop trying to get him to throw away things. As a man I know what he is thinking. In his mind, he knows that the very thing he throws away, will be the thing he needs most, sometime in the near future.

There is a way to come to a compromise however. Get an agreement with him that he can keep whatever he wants, but only in a portion of the real estate. That will be his space and he can keep what he wants as long as it's in his space and hold it to him.

He will get rid of things to get new things.

Answer 8

Sounds to me like he might be a bit obsessive compulsive, here is one thing I used on my husband (he does the cooking and is constantly buying pots and pans) He can't buy a new one until the old one is gone. Or try having him organize everything and put it in storage boxes and put in an unused area of your home. Good luck....

Answer 9

it is his stuff but you do need space . So ask him if he would like to sell his in a yard sale and you do the same with what you don't need. by him thinking about making money you will have more space .

Answer 10

Ummmm good one, um first cry and say you have something to hid,,,,,,,and he'll say no baby I dont hear lets dry your eyes and throw it away..or then we can all grow up and just do it slowly but surely.
Just do it I say.
Good Luck x