me and my sister...okay he said that we cant even go to my dad's house w/o getting permission from him...he doesnt even own my moms house...her name is on the lease...and i cant stand him...okay he wouldnt even let me come up stairs for dinner bcuz i had paper on my floor...im living w/ my dad now, but i love my mom so much but, w/o her bf being around, she just lets him do w/e he wants and she wont stop him and i dont know what to do, i know that my mom loves me, but not that much if she lets him kick my sister outta her house...he needs to leave...what should i do before he does something worse to us?
2006-10-13 09:46:13 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh my God, if I didn't know better I would think you were my Grand-daughter. She came to me a month ago, she wanted someone to talk to because of her Step-Dad. She said she felt she couldn't take much more and she wanted to live with me.
My Daughters husband is very controling and there have been times when, I have had serious problems concerning his take over of the family. It's a very long story and I don't want to get into that part right now.
My Grand-daughter and I had a nice long talk and we decided the best thing to do, was to set Mom down and get her involved. We had my Daughter come over to my house and shared our concerns with her. That didn't work as my Daughter started yelling and totally defended her husband. She told my Granddaughter that they were a real Family now and she had to go home.
Beleive me. I was in shock over my daughters response. I really felt she would listen to my Granddaughter and she wouldn't. My Granddaughter did go home, however "we" set up a code word.
I told her all she needed to do was call me and say that word and I would be on my way to pick her up.
Her Step Dad wants my approval, so he wouldn't like it but he wouldn't stop me. In some ways, I think he is affraid of me?
Any way that being said so that you know I understand where you are coming from. I too, suggest you talk to your Father and maybe he can help you with this. If you feel you can talk to your Mother then by all means talk to her.
If talking to your Mom isn't working then just try to set up visits with her outside of the home. That way her Boy Friend won't be involved.
I am happy that at least you do have your Father, my Granddaughters Father is living on the Streets. He is into drugs and it has affected his Brain to the point that he no longer makes any sense when you talk to him.
I hope your Sister will be able to move to your Fathers soon, the sooner the better.
Keep your head up and know that this too will pass. I wish you the very best...
2006-10-13 11:45:15 · answer #1 · answered by Plain Jane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl stay away from him because he absolutely has no right to tell you that you can't visit your father and has no right to order you around like that I believe you should respect him but that respect must be earned and if he isn't respecting you then you shouldn't be around him. I am really angry at your mother because she isn't looking out for your interests you and your sister should be the most important thing since your children should come before any man and the fact that she isn't putting you first says alot about how much she really cares about you.
I understand that your mother may feel alone and wants the love of a man since we all need that kind of love but you can't forget about your family because of that. I recommend that you speak to her and tell her exactly how you feel. confront her about all this and if she doesn't acknowledge your feelings then she's gonna have to choose. your stepfather scares me... like im seriously scared... i hope you and your sister are living with your father and that things work out for the best but you should definitely stay away from your step father i just hope your mother sees the truth and does the same...
2006-10-13 09:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by sadgreeneyes3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is obviously suffering from some low self esteem and this loser is controlling her and yes, she is allowing him to do it because she fears he will leave her. Sounds like he needs to anyhow. I wouldn't go over there anymore. If Mom wants to see you or you want to see her meet somewhere away from the bf. She sounds so spineless towards him that if he sexually assaulted you or your sister she would blame you two instead of him. I would keep a safe distance from him. He's a control freak and they can be dangerous some times.
2006-10-13 09:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lola 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with your dad. Leave your mom alone with this idiot. Hopefully she will see the error of her ways but it may be too late. I know that it's hard to do something like that but your mom is a grown woman and should know better than to put a man ahead of her kids. Go on with your life as best you can and hope for the best. God bless.
2006-10-13 09:49:19 · answer #4 · answered by gemone523 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.K. well sweetheart I feel for you....I think because he is her boyfriend, she may wake up to him soon....She must be really lonely to choose him, over you.
I think keep telling her how much you miss her...!!! pull at her heart strings..big time.
Your mother is allowed to have a boyfriend, but well its not as if he is her husband...and even then I feel kids should come first...
Your kids are your kids forever!
So just keep reminding her .......because right now, she has put her own needs before her children, and that stinks to me...
Be strong..and make Sure! you do not upset your father, because we don't want you without a place....(and also if you believe in God....pray He will help you in this o.k.) BIG HUGS OOO
2006-10-13 09:56:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is hope that your mom pulls her head out and realizes that her daughters are more important. Maybe try to get through to her and make her see that he is treating you girls bad. If he becomes violent or threatening call the cops. I hope it doesnt get to that point but good luck. At least you always have your dads place to go to.
2006-10-13 09:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People with Ego's are like that though.
they always want to tell others about their limitations and they only want to control others so that they can have all the power and the glory for themselves.
I would stand tall and never let anyone do this to you. Mom might be another question though.
2006-10-13 09:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by snorkelman_37 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're where you need to be, in a safe house. Your sister needs to join you and your dad ASAP and your dad needs to make that happen. Simply put, your mom chose her b/f over you. End of story.
2006-10-13 09:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By law he has no control over you, unless he adopts you, you dont have to do a damn thing he says. Tell you dad, i bet he wont be to happy about the situation either. There isnt to much you can do about it being a minor, but your dad could do somthing about it.
2006-10-13 09:49:11 · answer #9 · answered by Don A 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if your parent get along tell your father how you feel and maybe he can help you tell your mother, you can all sit down with or without the boyfriend and have a family meeting, or if you feel comfortable talk to your mom yourself. be very open and honest and she should listen
2006-10-13 09:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋