husband issues with expression and feelings?

Question

My husband and I are doing well in marriage exept that he has issues with expressing his emotions... We love being with eachother and he will tell me he loves me but the family he came from NEVER shared feelings. If something needed to be said they would write a letter or dismiss it. As a result he sometimes doesn't even know what he's feeling. Sometimes this causes issues because he does't know how to say when something is wrong or he has a problem.

Neither of us have insurance. Anyone have any ideas/tips or know of someplace in Orlando we could look in to for help?

Answer 1

1) Try shopping around for a pastor willing to assist you. We are often free and well-trained.
2) I am thankful you have a good relationship. It is going to take work on both of your parts and understanding. My wife has been working 39 years to help me express my feelings.
3) 1 of the first things a good counsellor will tell you is feelings are neither right nor wrong. They simply are. Period. No value judgement. What we do with feelings is where judgement comes in.
4) I'll be a tad sexist and say his difficulty expressing feelings is not only family based. Our culture, even history has frowned on men getting in touch w/ their feelings.
5) Practically, when he writes out what he feels, have him read it out loud. This will begin to open up the oral expression.
6) Ask him to write and read 1 feeling a day for you. What will you offer in return so he doesn't feel like you are a nagging wife?
7) As a pastor, I would encourage you to pray - even a simple prayer or the Lord's prayer each night. It is not only heard by God, but it is also an exercise in listening to each other even as you speak.
The Lord be with you.

Answer 2

Sometimes love is expressed in deed, rather than word, talk is cheap. Reserve in a person can be a good thing. Imagine the tedium of having to experience someone elses emotions being expressed to you all the time - never mind the whole family!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

oh Hun, you not the only one. Men don't share their feelings. I really don't know half the time what my hubby is feeling. Sometimes I can tell by his body language. Patience. Learn to read his expressions. Don't be hurt he wont talk, men think differently. I read a book once, "men are from mars, women are form Venus" I think that what it was called. Anyway, it explains how men think sooo differently from woman. Its true. There is nothing wrong with him. He's a man. He sounds lucky to have such a caring wife though!

Answer 5

If he is used to writing his feelings, why don't you have him do that regarding a certain issue. It's not a bad way to express feelings, in fact, it's really good to get things out on paper.

Try it when the next issue comes up and see how it works for your relationship. If it doesn't help, seek counceling to work through some deep issues.

Answer 6

Hi hunny, I read the book "Relationship Rescue"and I highly recommend it for yourself. I know that deep down your husband wants to express himself openly,but if he does it privately then you have nothing to worry about at all! My husbands family likes express bad feelings verbally and good feelings are expressed in presents. I would say to talk to him and tell him how you feel. You are his wife and he found something he loves and needs in his life, Im sure you will hear an earful of adoring things about yourself, dont forget to tell him adoring things about himself.Hope this helps

Answer 7

it is true , guys are not real good at expressing themselves. my hubby never says thank you an rarley says i am sorry... men just have a hang up with it. and most don't even see it as a problem. without any insurance , it would be hard on you for the counseling thing. just find some way to read him. and tell him you need him to show what he is feeling.

Answer 8

Encourage him to be more open. Sometimes the best appraoch is not confronting but coaxing. Try a little more pampering and then see if he opens up. Make him feel non-threatened. Over time he will be more comfortable to speak his thoughts to you.

This works for women as well as for men.

Answer 9

He is a GUY. Guys dont share their feelings or emotions. Half the time, we don't know what to think. We are a mixed bag of nuts...

Answer 10

I just returned from Iraq and I found that just getting on Microsoft word and writing typing my feelings down helped out some. Get him to try e-mailing you from time to time with his feelings. Maybe that way he will get use to letting his feelings out. It really helped me out when I had that problem.