I am married and my wife has my last name. Before you modern feminist go jumping on me, first read and try to understand me before you go jumping at my throat please saying i am a conceited proud controlling male blah blah.
First of all when a woman is married she takes on her hubbys name. Thats why ladies you have ur dads last name.
My wife does not seem to like my name. and its offending me.She is using her first name her maiden name on new business mail to clients. When she does decide to use my name its used like this . Her first name then her maiden name then my last names initial. Incidentaly her drivers license and social etc all have my name as her last name since we got married. I am not petty. But id like her to identify with my name as her husband and as we build our great future together the world can see the success as that of the Bellfords( my name) and not her maiden name which is her dads.
I ve told her several times but she doesnt seem to respect this. WHY.What todo
2006-10-13 09:20:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need to point out to her that this isnt a "ego" thing its a tradition thing... Nothing more and nothing less tell her how much you like the sound of Mr and Mrs _____ Belford. How it makes you feel connected to her,,, and how it lets others know that you two are connected threw marriage.. sorry i think femminists have went a little bit to far with all this... whats next waving tampons? lol
2006-10-13 09:24:41 · answer #1 · answered by chrystal_lynn2002 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, this is not something that any of us can help solve. I chose to take my husbands name and, quite frankly, I am surprised at the number of women who do not anymore. I love my husband dearly and I am proud to be called by my married last name, not because I am a sheepish, weak, or controlled woman, but because I adore that everyone knows the minute they meet me that I am the wife of the man that I love. But, that is because I believe that it is a testimony to the rest of the world that I am not possessed by him, but that I do not wish to be separate from him. My maiden name is just that, the name I was called as a "maiden", an unmarried woman. I no longer identify with being single (and I wouldn't choose to go back). To go through all the steps to change ones name with SS and DMV, it seems odd to now use the maiden name with clients.
Unless, her maiden name is of some social/economic influence (like Kennedy or something famous) it doesn't make sense. Even then, why change the name in the first place? I don't know how long you have been married, but perhaps she had these clients for some time before you two where married, so she is known by her maiden name. That being said, it is cumbersome to keep your notoriety in business when the customers identify your service with a particular name. Sometimes it is just easier to keep the name they know and trust.
Either way, if you feel that strongly about it, try not to pester her or be angry in discussing it. She may have some things yet to work out that she needs you to understand and support her through.
2006-10-13 09:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here in the U.S. a woman has a CHOICE of using either he maiden name or her married name after she marries. Some women CHOOSE not to use their husband's last name, some feel it harkens back to the days when women were no more than property and "owned" by their husbands. The only problem with your wife's way is that if she is signing legal papers/contracts with her maiden name then she is breaking the law because she has two legal and binding documents with her married last name on them and she can not sign legal documents with anything other than that last name unless she has her name changed back to her maiden name. So any "legal and binding" contracts she has signed with her maiden name are not legal and binding...You might want to give her a "heads up" about this because she could get into some serious trouble for it.
2006-10-13 20:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the professional life people associate with the last name if changed they may not know who the person is. I feel that she should have your last name even if it is hypenated. If it is a problem of people not knowing who she is she should dend notes out to tell them she is now married and this is the new name. Love is accepting everything about a person even if it is a last name Good Luck
2006-10-13 09:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by lpdecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a woman marries a man she is to take his last name. It is biblical in that she is to be subject to him as her wife. Notice, I did not say slave. Big difference!
When a person marries Christ through salvation they are to subject to Him and take on the name of CHRISTian, a new name, Isa 62:2; Acts 17:11.
Eph 5 teaches that Christ is head of the man and the man is head of the wife. When a woman marries a man she is to take on his name. It is a sign of being subject to her husband.
There is no dishonor for the woman/wife, only honor.
2006-10-13 09:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by TenJac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too was proud to take my husband's name. I do know a man who took his wife's name and several couples who hyphenated their names together. And I know several women who kept their madain name because they felt it was better for their career. They legally changed it, but kept using their madain name for all work related things. Maybe that is why she is keeping her maiden name. Is her name so recognizable in her business dealings that she would lose business if she changed it? She did legally change her name, so I am not sure why you are so upset about her using her maiden name for business.
2006-10-13 09:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Adina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was the same way. She wanted to keep her maiden name but I told her if she wants to marry me, she has to take my name. It's either or. She compromised and dropped her old middle name which was Sue and made her maiden name her new middle name. She goes by my name but still has her maiden name in her name.
2006-10-13 09:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by fisch_maegg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman has every right to choose whether she wants to take her husbands name in all aspects. Why don't you try and focus on the more important issues in your marriage. A name is just a name.
2006-10-13 09:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry dude, but her name is HER name, and your name is YOUR name. How you use your name, and how she uses hers, is entirely up to you and her, respectively. I have nothing against the tradition of the woman taking her husband's name; feminists aside, many women can't wait to do so, and really like using their husband's name. But the bottom line is - it is HER choice. It's nothing personal against you if she still uses her original name, please don't take it so. She is an individual, not an extension of you, and you're bound to have different views on various things. This happens to be one of your (hopefully minor) differences. Let it go, enjoy your wife's companionship, and let her enjoy yours.
2006-10-13 09:31:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should confront her and ask her exactly what her reasoning is. Ill admit my maiden name was much better than my married name but Im proud of my husband and our surname and I cant understand where she might be coming from
2006-10-13 09:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋