My Husband has a boy’s night out, just about weekly. To be honest for the most part it doesn't bother me. We have been together for over 16 years (since high school). I know all of his friends, and he doesn't do the club scene, or strip bar thing. His nights out give me a nice little break, and time to myself. Even though it is fine with me, my married girlfriends can't believe I let him and talk trash about it. We have a great relationship, I am secure, and I know he loves me. I think he works hard and deserves some time with his buddy's. What do you think?
2006-10-13 08:59:01 · 16 answers · asked by NeNe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have complete trust in him like you say, then forget what your friends think. They may just be jealous that you guys have such a supportive relationship. And after 16 years if you suddenly told your man that he can't hang out with his friends, he may get really angry! Sometimes friends don't give the best advice. Stick with your gut.
2006-10-13 09:03:23 · answer #1 · answered by Ally S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, there is nothing wrong with him going out. And that you enjoy your little break is a plus. My husband has a guy's night out, and I have no problem with it either. I can have a girl's night out if I want one. Usually ends up at a friends house we drink wine and pig out. Some people think just because you aren't joined at the hips, something is wrong. Or it leads to cheating...wrong. I think having trust and being secure is the main ingredient to a happy marriage. 27 years I have been with my man, and he has went to strip clubs with his buddies a few times. If I want to go to a male strip club, he wouldn't care, because we love each other and know that cheating begins way before you live the home.
Honey, your friends think they are protecting you, but you don't need it. You are in a healthy happy relationship, and a little time away from each other is a good thing. I agree with you let him have some time with the guy, and don't worry what the girls are saying..I just wish they could find a man like ours that they could trust without a leash. I also enjoy my little break, I don't cook, I get in my pjs and watch what I want to, listen to music, do whatever, it's a quiet time for me to regroup. So, I am hoping he's going out with the guys tonight...I need some peace and quiet...lol a bubblebath and a good book sounds just like what the doctor ordered....best wishes and continued success in your marriage.....
God bless us all..............
2006-10-13 16:50:23 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are really bothered by it, or you would not be asking. The only time my husband goes out on his own is with the guys from work maybe once a month, after work for a few hours. That's it. We do everything else together as a family - every evening, every weekend. He works really hard, so wants to spend his time off just with us, because that's what he says relaxes him the most!
I think you shouldn't share so much with your girlfriends about your personal life! This isn't high school!
2006-10-14 07:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally think it's great that the two of you do this. It gives both of you a break. Time apart is actually good for the heart and soul AND the relationship. Those who don't think so are either jealous, or haven't tried it themselves, or maybe they don't trust their partners like you do yous. This has worked for you for 16 years. So why change it now. Don't listen to your friends. If they were real friends, they wouldn't put down what has worked for you for so long and would support you.
I am engaged to a great man. I always know where he is. He doesn't do the bar or strip club scene either. Never did. He goes with his friends from time to time, without me. It gives us a break from each other, and it gives each of us something new to talk about other than his work or my being home doing just housework or needed shopping, etc. I encourage my fiance to go out with his friends, and his brother who is less than 3 miles from us. He encourages me to do the same thing. We are totally trusting of each other and have no reason not to trust each other. I don't like it when a guy is hanging around 24/7, always in the way, not doing his own thing with the guys from time to time, not doing his hobbies, etc. I like someone that is secure with himself, able to go out with the guys and do his hobbies, and that trusts me as much as I do him.
It sounds as if you have a very strong relationship and that this works for you. As long as it's working for you, don't listen to others. They have a right to their opinions, but that doesn't mean that you have to agree or listen to them.
2006-10-13 16:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as long as BOTH people are on the same page about something - it is GREAT!!! And should continue as it is. My husband doesn't go out that terribly much, but anytime he asks me whether I mind if he goes out with a friend or two, I say YESS go for it. I totally agree that it's nice to have the house to myself every once in a while, AND I don't have to worry about dinner the night he's out. He always asks me first before making plans, since I'm the "keeper" of our "social calendar", and he always respects any prior arrangements that had been made. I could not have asked for a better husband, and he can keep going out anytime he wants to. It sounds like you and your husband have things worked out, tell your friends to stuff it.
2006-10-13 16:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a refreshingly trusting and respectful relationship. Less than once a week sounds completely reasonable, because I bet you'd have mentioned it if he uses these outings to avoid any of his responsibilities. Your friends sound jealous, but don't let them ruin a good thing with their attempts to plant seeds of doubt & mistrust into your mind.
Oh, and, one thing I've noticed in Answers: the first person to answer a given question is usually the most ignorant.
2006-10-13 16:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You spelled it all out in your question. He is a great guy, you have a great relationship. He deserves time with his friends, as do you. Your girlfriends are the ones with the problem. They are jealous of your relationship. Either tell them to stop putting you and your husband down, dump the girlfriends, or stop rubbing your great relationship in their faces.
2006-10-13 16:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by JillA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's something that you've been comfortable with for 16 years, why let a few friends ruin it? Let him go out.
Why are your friends just now talking about it after all this time? Ask them if there's something you should know that they aren't telling you. If not, let them know you're fine with it and they can move on to someone else.
2006-10-13 16:03:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your friends are not as secure in their relationships as you are. There is nothing wrong with a "boys night out" weekly or if YOU want a "girls night out". Like you said, it gives you a break as well. I say enjoy the "boys night out" for yourself.
2006-10-14 03:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree it is good for him and you! Even though you are married and together it is very important to have some separate activities. You sound like you have a healthy relationship. Take some time and go out with your girlfriends.
2006-10-13 16:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by Rae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋