How do you know if your female friend is telling the truth that she has no feelings towards you?

Question

My (female) friend and I are close(both single).We tell each other everything (even bout sex).Last Friday we were out and she told me that:1)She cares about me a lot,2)thinks about me a lot,3)can only open up fully to me (no one else), also told me many personal stuff from her past 4)really enjoys spending time with me (one on one),5)she only wants to txt me at certain times,i.e after a long day/travelling home. When I told her I felt the same (as above), she said she don't see me in that way and nothing more would happen!We kissed once before,but she said it didn't mean anything to her.I'm confused as we txt each other practicaly everyday and she always can't wait to see me again, one on one.When out in a group we stare into each others eyes,always end up just chatting together,ignoring everyone else!We're going abroad with friends and she said she'd share a bed with me!She says I don't do it for her,but her behaviour contradicts this.Is she lying/in denial?Have I got it all wrong?

Answer 1

Hello Machine,

I think this is a really hard situation for you :( The thing is you seem to love her. You are important and this may be a wast of your romantic feelings. I don't think she's very sensitive if she thinks it's OK to sleep with a man (if you are a bloke) and not expect you to want her, when you have already revealed your feelings for her. This is very complicated and confusing even to try and sort out when your not involved, so it must be hell for you. What about truth? I think TRUTH is the only way myself. Without the truth it's always going to be an unstable situation. This may be really crap advice,,,, i hope you find a way without getting to hurt. If you told her about your passion, why is she wanting to sleep with you? Why is she carrying on when you made it clear you fancy her? Why doesn't it seem to matter to her ? Has she no empathy of how it would be for her if she fancied you? Or is it some sort of sick game in which she is the worshiped one?

Machine, I think it's very dangerous to read things into situations especially when the person is saying one thing but seems to be expressing something else with their body language. Because you may have it all wrong. Just because you have passion for her doesn't mean she has passion for you. Please be careful.

Answer 2

Personally, I think it sounds like she's in denial. But it also sounds like she might like making you feel this way. You need to sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her all the things you told us. If she still says she doesn't feel that way about you, then you need to be prepared to tell her to move on, and that you shouldn't see her anymore. If she's really in denial, given a little time, she'll contact you and own up to her feelings. If she's just acting this way to you on purpose, then you haven't lost anything when she just stops being your friend. What she's doing is not what a friend should do. Either she's in denial about her feelings, or she's a terrible friend (and terrible person). Only a serious talk about this will let you know for sure which that is.

Answer 3

Hate to say this. But, it's probably looks. She likes everything about you, but is not attracted to you. It can be a deal breaker!

If you cannot have her as a friend, because you are interested in her in another way, tell her that you plan to move on. She might throw you a bone, or reexamine her feelings.

If you are overweight, or just not "buff" enough... ask her if that is the reason and, if so, start losing weight and working out.

Of course, things will never work out because she is not attracted to you. Also, take a real look at her, she is probably really superficial. Do you really "want" a girl like that ?

Answer 4

Dude, sounds tough, but not really, just spend alot of time with her, she's sending you mixed signals, but thats because she doesn't want to loose you as a friend, if your relationship goes south know what I mean? there's always a time in everyones life where you need to ask your self should we stay friends, or should I risk going out on a limb, and getting into a relationship with a certain person, In your case, go for it, but like I said spend all the time her you can, if her feelings are there, then it's golden, just don't let anything go over to the friends side, let you feelings come out, and put the ball on her court, if what you said is true, about the way she feels for you, it wont take long, for her feeling to come out. Be patient, stay strong

God bless
RS

Answer 5

Either she sees you as a very good friend or she's lying to herself and is trying to avoid a stable relationship. Is there something in her past that makes her avoid serious relationships? She may also be afraid that if a romantic relationsip doesn't work out that she may lose her best friend. When it gets to the point that you finish each others sentences and the eyes meet across the room, then its time for her to decide that you two are in fact soulmates.

Answer 6

Believe what she is telling you. She is not romatically interested in you. For your own self respect, set limits on the time you spend with her. Don't stare into her eyes anymore. Talk to somebody else when you are out in a group and definitely do not share a bed with her when you go abroad. I may be wrong about this- but it sounds like she might be teasing you.

Answer 7

been in your shoes. I think they like the fact of havign a security blanket. Maybe you wouldnt do it for her but she doesnt want to lose something this great. It sux. i just dropped the girl like a bad habit. she still is persistant months later. But i cut my ties with her and she is with someone else. Kinda sucks. But dont stay just to be her security blanket. stay because it has a chance to develope into something if you want it to. I didnt wanna be just friends and i think she regretted it later. maybe that will be the case to if you part ways. or the other scenerio is she has trust issues. something in her past is pushing away from being in love. Bad split of her parents. I never been dumped and always pushed them away cuz i didnt wanna admit i was in love. Stupid thing but maybe thats her story too. Best of luck on your decision to keep it the same/ditch her/or give her the altimatum.

Answer 8

Oh honey...you have entered the friend zone.

My husband was in my friend zone for a year before I had feelings for him. If you really care for her, don't push it. Continue to be friends, but don't seem so available.

Us women can be stupid sometimes. We want exactly what you are offering, but like more of a challenge to get it. If you offer yourself so easily, it takes out the whole fun of it. Look around, start dating, open up to more than just her when you are out with your friends.

If she does care for you, she will let you know. If it's meant to be, it will happen. If not, at least you have a best friend and a new girlfriend out of the deal.

Answer 9

Sounds like she likes you as a very very very close friend and that is all. I had the same relationship with a guy. We talked day in and day out. I always told him about my day, my relationships, and everything. likewise with him, then one day he told me he felt more for me and i just didn't feel the same way. Guys are always thinking too deeply into things when woman just though they had a great guy friend that they were really really close to. Your just friends and you should keep it that way so you don't ruin things.

Answer 10

Well, I know your friend is female, but I'm not sure of your gender. My guess is that you are also female. If that's the case, I think your friend feels very close to you, and possibly curious, and even complimented that you're attracted to her...But it sounds as if she's not ready or willing to pursue a sexual relationship. If you want to know for sure, back off a bit and see if she starts pursuing you!