How Can you..?

Question

How can you let go of the past.. how do you let go of the things that happened to you in high school..that made you build a wall around yourself...How do you stop looking at yourself in a negative way....thinking that every guy you meet...isn't going to like you...before even giving them a chance...?

Answer 1

You can not undo a lifetime of unhappiness and not beleiving in yourself over night. Look at it this way. Do not let those people that were in high school have power over you. Take your power back. You have a wall for self protection but if you don't have a door in that wall no one can ever walk through and you are self defeating yourself. Try little baby steps. Every time you pass a mirror tell yourself something good about you. After a while you will begin to believe it and it all starts there, believing, and when you start believing construction starts on that wall and putting a door in.... after a little while you'll get a window and then before you know it the wall will be down, but it's not going to happen over night. you didn't get these feelings over night

Answer 2

it's a psychological thing...seriously. u have to start from Scratch, forgive urself from the past, and Learn from it. :) that way u can see Positives instead of negatives. first of all, i suggest taking some time out to worry about Yourself, instead of worrying what Others think. u have to love yourself before someone else can....!

1) work on your Appearance..it may sound shallow, but actually not. i believe mentally and emotionally, the better u feel about your Appearance, the easier it will be for you to pursue other things in life, like friends, career, etc. so exercise, take care of u body; try on different and flattering clothes; play around w/ makeup tips and different hair.... goal is to be Comfortable and Happy with how you look :)

2) work on your Mind... if u are in school, study harder, read more, do Extra to excel. if u are at a job, try to learn as much as u can in that field, or take some classes on the side, or even take up Hobbies and try to do ur best. anything that interests you. this will help u develop your thinking, as well as give u "ammunition" when speaking w/ others.. when u have knowledge, u won't be as "shy" about speaking

3) work on Relationsihps w/ people: family first, then friends, eventually u will meet friends of friends, and then u will have even more practice with Strangers.. in class, at work, at the supermarket, whatever. but remember, if u Look good, and u are Smart, u have less and less to be negative about..u know? :) u won't worry as much if that person Likes u or not...u will worry more if YOU like that person or not!! change your mentality...

after all of that i think u will see that u are a really great person.. beautiful, smart, and outgoing....can make friends easily, etc. and because u Worked on it, u are even more thankful for it. also, because u are experiencing sadness, negativity, etc, right now, u can Appreciate it more later, and not be too cocky as u begin to transform. always remember, there are poeple out there who are negative, sad, and depressed, always feeling judged all the time.. what u can do is learn to love yourself, and not judge others. :) good luck to you~~~~!

Answer 3

i had some real bad experiences in high school and it made me want to hide forever. but here i am 29 married to a wonderful man and we have 1 child. all you need to do is write down your feelings on a piece of paper, all of them you have about the past, read it out loud to validate those feelings, then put them in a fire. this really works i have done this and have been better ever since. just try it what is the worst thing that can happen??
i really hope you feel better and if a man or guy likes you just be who your real self is and it will be OK. if he likes you then good if hes afraid then he was a fake to himself

Answer 4

This is a tough one to answer,
I felt the same, school for me was not good, I felt suicidal most days due to abuse.

Time heals, so do good friends. talk about it to them if you can't find anyone else to talk to.

It does get better, you have to trust your instincts, life post school is much better, the situations you build walls to protect yourself are not there as much..

Talk and take time lots of it...
Don't think too much about it and one day you will find they have gone.

Answer 5

You probably have bad self esteem.
You can see a councilor about it, but there are many other ways to sort it out.
For example: say positive things to yourself aloud to the mirror every night.
e.g: I love myself and accept myself for who i am.
It really works :]

Answer 6

See a shrink

Answer 7

Please investigate getting into therapy. It helps lots of people to work out issues from their past and move on.