Never considered divorce?...and if you are happy, is your wife just as content?
2006-10-13 08:16:56 · 14 answers · asked by nikkismiles7 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bozzo4321 - Happy...like you wouldn't cheat, or haven't cheated, gees it's not difficult to be happily married if you're screwing around, but if you WERE really happy you wouldn't want to screw around.
2006-10-13 08:25:27 · update #1
I was married for 9 years. I can't say that all of them were happy, but I doubt that any married couple could. The key to staying together is determination, commitment, and especially desire. I'm sure you've heard it said that you can't break a bad habit unless you really want to. You have to really WANT to make it work, and then you have to find the right tools.
Of course, it's still not that simple. It never is.
If your spouse isn't as committed as you are, then it could fall apart no matter what you do. If there is some serious spiritual or emotional pathology in their past, then at some point it could be completely beyond your control. In the end, you can't fix anyone else. You can only fix yourself. If you keep that attitude throughout, then even if your spouse completely self-destructs, hopefully they won't be able to take you with them. You'll be a better person no matter what happens.
I believe that God brings people in and out of our lives for reasons that might not make any sense to you. If you can't control your spouse, you certainly can't control God. He hates divorce, but I believe that it is sometimes necessary for his plans anyway. You can't fight that. You just have to keep focusing on improving yourself and how you interact with the world, your spouse, and God.
The best of all worlds is when you and your spouse are equally determined and desirous of a happy life together, and you are both people of healthy and strong characters. You will set up a positive feedback between you, with each of you amplifying the positive energy of the other. Those are the rare relationships in which an aging husband and wife speak of every day as better than the one before.
Choose your spouse carefully. Know who they are, who they have been, and what might lurk beneath the surface. Past problems aren't necessarily barriers to future happiness, but at the very least you need to know what's going on. Get lots of advice from your elders. Your parents, pastors, and wiser friends and family can save you a lot of heartache later on.
Avoid impersonal match-making services. You don't want a spouse who's just like you, unless you want to remain a child all your life. It's the rough spots and differences that really help you grow. There are only a few things that you must have in common:
1) Religion - You don't need to go to the same church or even the same denomination, but marrying someone of a completely different faith is going to cause you problems.
3) Commitment - Divorce must not be in your marital dictionary. Decide now that it will never come up. It will never be an option. Learn to communicate and resolve conflicts _before_ you get married. Be willing to get help when you need it.
4) Love - You don't need to have "in love" to love each other. 90% of all marriages in history were probably arranged, and many of them still managed to be happy and filled with love. Feelings are only one-third of love. At least one-third of love is in deciding to love. Feelings come and go, while commitment can remain. The last third of love is action. Love is in how you treat someone, what you give them, and what you give up for them.
2006-10-13 08:43:55 · answer #1 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Twenty years of marriage here. Well, of course we have had our arguments, times we felt intensely angry at each other, or maybe even just emotionally distant from each other. Nonetheless, I can honestly say that, yes, I am truly happy that I married this woman. No, I have never considered divorce, and I have even felt that if my wife attempted to divorce me I would take almost any action to stop her. In my heart, I do believe she is just as content, although I always hesitate to speak for someone else.
2006-10-13 08:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been happily married for 1 1/2 months. and no I havent considered divorc, and my wife is content as well.....Ask me again in 5 years
2006-10-13 08:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by skip s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most times im real happy things bother at times but truly happy, yes she is the same
2006-10-13 08:21:15 · answer #4 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have been happily married for 24 years - our only complaint? Haven't won the lotto yet!!
2006-10-13 08:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by Scabius Fretful 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some days I am happily married and other days I wish I was stationed in Iraq fighting insurgents with a rusty butterknife instead of being trapped at home with my wife.
2006-10-13 08:24:01 · answer #6 · answered by ©ubs Fan™ 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I was happy and married
then unhappy and married
then unhappy and unhappily married
NOW I'M JUST HAPPY AND IT DRIVES MY WIFE NUTS WHICH MAKES ME HAPPILY MARRIED.
2006-10-13 08:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am completly happy with my wife. she has found ways to make me completly head over heels about her all of the time.
never considered divorce? my wife has never been anything but a loving, compassionate spouse.
2006-10-13 08:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jason C 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Overall happy with most aspects of my life and marriage
2006-10-13 08:19:01 · answer #9 · answered by Jim G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ups and downs..but never considered divorce. Marriage is great !!
2006-10-13 08:38:06 · answer #10 · answered by Gabe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋