My divorce was final at the beginning of this month and my ex seemed very happy it was over. He told me that he just wanted everything to be over. Well when court was over I got very emotional and started yelling at him and I told him that I know he still loved me and that we could have worked this out. And I asked him to tell me that he didn't love me and he wouldn't say anything. We just had a baby in July and we have a 19 month old and I told him that he left us and I know that we all could have been a happy family. Well he told me we would talk about everything later that he had to go and think. Well after all this happend he has been coming over every night and hanging out and he messages me everyday and is always worried if I am going to get mad at him. On the nights that he has his visitation with the girls he wants me to come over. We are even going out to a movie tonight. I don't get it. He is the one that filed. What do you thing about this? Do you thing he still cares 4 me?
2006-10-13 08:05:13 · 10 answers · asked by JLEE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He bought me roses last night and just stopped by to say hi. I don't see him doing that just to be "friends". But that could be me.
2006-10-16 09:32:53 · update #1
Sounds to me like he found out the grass is not greener on the other side. Take it slow, don't be hurt by him again. He is the one that has to tell you if he cares for you anymore. No one here can tell you that. He is giving mixed signals. Divorces you, then wants you to come with your children. You need to ask him straight up what he is feeling. You really should just stay away during his visitation, so that he can really feel what he is missing out on. He wanted the divorce, so don't give everything to him on a silver platter, so to speak.
2006-10-13 10:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you were married once, and there are children involved so obviously he CARES about you, and probably does not want to see you hurting. And it's obviously that you ARE hurt. But aside from all of that he DID file for and GET the divorce. He could have stopped it at any time, or even tried to work it out during the process if he wanted to stay.
He probably doesn't want you to hate him and teach the kids to hate him through your bitterness and anger and hurt. So to prevent that, he tries to keep you happy in little ways, and still maintains his relationship with his family. Kind of trying to keep some sense of normalcy and happiness in the relationship mostly for his children, and so in doing that YOU must be happy too because they will definetely sense your vibes and suffer for it.
He probably hopes that in time you two will be able to be FRIENDS and that you won't be hurt and angry anymore. That you will move on, but that your children will be well adjusted and seeing that the two of you are happy even though living seperate lives........that all will be well that ended well.
Does that make sense?
2006-10-13 08:20:32 · answer #2 · answered by lilac b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes he still cares for you....he might even love you but, he does not want to spen the rest of his life with someone so irrational!
Listen, I'm sure that your a good person & all,but a guy wants to feel important & respected.
You say that you yeled at him after court.........I know that I dont want someone yelling at me in public. I could love you to death,but I'm not going to stick with someone who can humiliate me in public,instead of just sitting down & talking to me & telling me "I have strong feelings for you & I seriously believe that you feel the same. let discuss a little more & see if we can make this work before throwing it all away.....this can be worked out".
Instead of (dareing him to tell you that he did'nt love you!) you could of just told him "I love you & you still matter to me & the kids".
Instead of accuseing him of abandoning you & the baby! let him know he is needed & yes still wanted.
You say he messages you everyday & worried if you are going to be mad.......well there's your answer! he thinks you have a temper problem which makes him feel like less of a man & he still comes around in hopes that you will change!
On his night with the girls, yes he does invite you over because he has nothing to hide! he's not seeing anyone else & he enjoys your company,but you just have to change a little bit for it to work!
P.S. not to say he is a siant!!!!!!!! he probably needs to fix a thing or two also....it takes two to destroy love.....& also two to fix-it!
2006-10-13 08:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Scorpio Rising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for you to feel close to each other right after a divorce. It may be as simple as separation anxiety, or it may not. You have kids together, which is a special bond in itself. You will have to continue to deal with each other as you raise your kids - right now you are redefining your relationship. This is a really difficult and confusing stage of divorce. Hang in there, but don't let him walk all over you because he feels guilt about leaving his family.
2006-10-13 08:50:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no longer truthfully everyone gets married for the ideal motives. those impulsive, short-sighted truthfully everyone seems to be the 1st ones to throw interior the towel on a marriage whilst problems arise. truthfully everyone seems to be rapid to get divorced because of the fact they in no way truly understood the dedication it is marriage and that they in no way could have been married interior the 1st place. Divorce is sweet whilst the excuses for marriage have been incorrect!!!
2016-12-26 18:28:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to tell you the truth i do think that he still loves you deep inside but he just don't want to admit it that's how guys are? but i mean if you love him and yall have 2 kids together sit down and talk to him to see if yall can work things out again? but take it slow dont rush into things? but i think he still cares in loves you and yall kids? well good luck?
2006-10-13 08:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by i luv ariana alize! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Couples counseling would really help you sort out this situation. Remind him that you need to figure things out to create a safe and stable environment for your very young children.
2006-10-13 08:08:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
who knows, maybe he had a girlfriend that dumped him and now he wants you because he cant have her. My divorce it final soon, i've tryed everything to get her back.
2006-10-13 08:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think you both make fools of yourselves.
So be it though.....your life. Certainally not the way that I would conduct mine.
2006-10-13 08:16:37 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loved you, he wouldn't have hurt you the first time.
2006-10-13 08:10:37 · answer #10 · answered by First L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋