Any experience with partially weaning baby? (This is really long, but I need your wisdom PLEASE)!!!?

Question

A couple nights ago I started gradually weaning my 10 ½ month old daughter. I need to replace 2-3 feedings a day with formula for when I go back to work in 5 weeks and she starts daycare. (She’s actually starting gradually with 4 full days over the next 2 weeks and then full-time after that.)

I’m hoping I can still breastfeed 2-3 times a day, (in the morning, after work and before bed) without exploding on my part or too much anxiety and confusion on hers. She still has no teeth so we’re still enjoying breastfeeding and I’m hoping I can continue until she’s a year old and can start with whole milk. (Plus who wants to pay $28 for a can of powdered formula if there’s another option???)

I thought it would be less confusing if her Dad gave her the bottles at first (because he’s given her bottles of breast milk in the past, but not for a few months.) He tried and she flat out didn't want anything to do with it. He tried again a couple hours later (at bedtime) (more to come...)

and she drank about an ounce (before I fed her like normal.) It was tough… Hubby was frustrated, my heart’s not in it and she doesn’t know what’s going on. When I gave her the breast (after the attempts at the bottle) she did some of the best eating she’s done in months!!

I probably shouldn’t have caved and followed the bottle up with the breast at all. I don’t know if it sends a mixed message that she can get away without the bottle, or if it’s reassuring to her to know that the breast is still available too. Maybe I should pump for awhile and offer her nothing but formula? I just didn’t want to traumatize her too much.

We’ve tried different positions (cradle hold, sitting up, laying down, wrapped in a blanket so she can’t whack at me with her arms), different people (Daddy, Mommy, Grandma), different bottles, sippy cups, using a straw, offering formula with her meals,

(but all that’s doing is affecting her eating solids too… now she barely wants to eat anything and starts screaming when we put her in her highchair.)

After seeing the new commercials that say kids need 2 servings of milk, chocolate milk, or milk products per day, (it used to be 4 when I was a kid) and how chocolate milk is equal in nutrition to white milk I decided while grocery shopping to get some strawberry quik syrup. (I heard lots of babies are allergic to chocolate so I went with the strawberry that has no cocoa and is all artificial flavoring and sugar.) The pediatrician would likely have a fit, but I’m hoping once she’s used to it, I can take the syrup out… by either reducing it slowly or doing what I did with her cereal and applesauce. (She never used to eat cereal without applesauce so I was always mixing them together. After a few weeks, one day I made it alone to see what would happen and she had no problem with it.)

Knowing that she LOVES her soother, I even went and got one of those soother medicine dispensers with the 2 tsp cup on the back end to get her to try the pink version because she absolutely refuses to open her mouth for any kind of cup or bottle anymore. Nothing is working.

I’m hoping we can get through this without having to cut her right off the breast and switch to just formula. Her pediatrician said that’s all some babies can tolerate though.

Oh I forgot to add… this morning I was back at it with the formula. And she was back at it with resisting the formula. My sister-in law said that getting her son to drink formula the first time took 4 hours for 4 ounces.

I fought with a bottle with 2 ounces in it for nearly 2½ hours while she screamed and cried. Then thinking it was downright cruel to continue to withhold breakfast any longer I put her in her booster seat and gave her some Gerber banana star puffs while I got her cereal together and cut up some grapes. After eating the puffs I guess her mouth was dry or something. I offered the formula again… now in a sippy cup and turned pink… she slammed back 2 ounces in about 3 minutes. I thought we’d made it over the hurdle… I quickly made 2 more ounces and proceeded to put on a 3-ring circus, (whistling, singing, dancing, tickling her toes, giving her things to play with to keep her hands full,

blowing bubbles in my own pink milk and letting her touch them to keep the whole thing like a game) basically doing anything I could think of for the next hour to get her to drink it.

When she was done and had resumed playing and laughing in the living room I let her nurse for a few minutes and she went right to sleep. (I don’t normally nurse to sleep, but it seems we’re both completely exhausted from our morning ordeal.)

What's worked for you? What's cruel and what's fair? (When the whole process seems cruel to me!) Help please!!!

She'll be at daycare from 7:30 am to 5:30 pm.

Long hours because I'll be working compressed time. (Working an extra 50 minutes a day so I can just work 9 days out of every 10 and can have an extra 26 days a year home with her without losing any $$$.)

I'd live to work less, but I'm the higher income and all the medical/dental benefits in our family come from my job. This is the best I can do.

I was using avent bottles too when I was pumping before, but my milk supply seems really low for the last few months (she's happy enough, not acting hungry etc. but I haven't had to pump, and when I DID try a month or so ago I only got like an ounce or two.)

My public health nurse said a while back when I was having trouble pumping a full bottle to leave if I was away for a few hours that if I'm not around at the 4-5 hour mark she'll probably just wait for me, eat solids and not really notice.

I haven't really ever left her for more than about 5 hours. Does this make any sense for 10 hours a day???

By 11 months how many times a day are babies still nursing? She'll still need some amount of milk in 10 hours right??

Answer 1

I'll put in my 2cents worth but I havent really lived through this myself as I havent gone back to work yet... will in a few mths though! I'll tell you what I do and maybe that will help. I'm not exactly clear though of how many times you are nursing your girl during the day. You say you would like to replace 2 or 3 feedings for when you are gone from 7:30 until 5:30 was it? I can't see all your info anymore, and I'm afraid I've forgotten some of it already LOL. I'm curious how much solids your daughter is eating, I dont remember reading anything about that. It just doesnt seem as though your daughter would need to have 2 or 3 bottles while at daycare. And depending on how you work it, I could see not having to give her but 1 bottle in the morning and that could be EBM that you've been able to express the day before during work breaks.
I think I remember reading that you werent able to get much out last time you tried... neither can I anymore. I wanted to express some for her cereal and that was too time consuming to make it worth while. Anyways...
My daughter goes to daycare twice a week for the afternoon to give me a break to handle chores and take a little breather. On these days our schedule runs like this: I nurse my daughter (11mths) first thing when she wakes up at 5am, then at some point later in the morn, around 10am. She takes her morn nap, then wakes for lunch of purely solids (peas, carrots, etc with a dessert of some fruit). She's off to daycare for the afternoon, where she gets a little snack of yogurt. As soon as she is home, around 5:30 or perhaps it's really closer to 6, I nurse her. She then eats dinner around 7:30, solids again - usually some sort of soup and again fruit for dessert. For her that is working out really well. On days where she's with me all day I nurse her earlier in the afternoon then maybe again after dinner but not usually. Only if she is being a bit fussy (puts her right to sleep).
Perhaps you are giving more milk and much less solids,
and I guess in that case you could consider adding more solids to replace lost nursing sessions so that you wouldnt have to force the issue about her taking this bottle she really doesnt want. Here where I live for non-breastfeeders the general order of meals for children our age is like this: A bottle with cereal in the morning for breakfast, lunch of veggies and fruit, a bottle of milk and perhaps a biscuit or two for the afternoon snack, and then dinner of soup and fruit for dessert. 4 meals a day, with only 2 bottles of milk. It totals 500ml a day, afraid I dont know in oz. Guess I could query it... Ok, it says 17ounces...
Of course, it sounds like your biggest problem right this minute is her refusing the bottle. I wouldn't offer it in a bottle, I would go with the sippy cup. She's old enough to handle it and it will be less like nursing I think. Never had to worry about this with my daughter, she loves bottles, sippy cups, regular cups, you name it. Not living in the States anymore I dont know what they offer, but here they have cereal for baby that is flavored like honey, chocolate, vanilla, fruit, you name it and they have it. You add a few spoonfuls into their milk and presto, a great meal! It is sweet tasting, but must have more nutrients in it that Quik could possible have (if it has any!).
I've heard the key is to be relaxed when trying something new, like giving milk other than from mommy for the first time. Certainly you should try to stay hidden during this. I've also heard stories of mother's really worrying about this same scenario and when it came time there was no hitch whatsoever. Babies adapt well to new surroundings and really surprise us sometimes.
I wouldnt continue forcing the issue with your daughter, like you already see it is making the entire eating process a nightmare for her and you. Keep offering the sippy cup, but if she refuses it let her refuse for the time being. Dont nurse her though right after she refuses - she's smart enough to know that she'll get her way if she does. That's about all I can say. I wish you the best of luck. Keep trying, and if you see that you need more help try calling La Leche League. They should have great guidance for cases like yours.

Answer 2

My goodness your question exhausted me, which is how you must be feeling after all that! At 10 months, your daughter will be getting nutrition from solids so you don't have to worry about that(please don't give her strawberry milk!)

You should be able to express milk at work as there are laws (certainly in England) which mean that breastfeeding mothers are allowed private spaces to express milk and also private fridges to store it in. Practically though, you can breastfeed her in the morning then in the evening. I know this is possible as I have a friend who still does this for her 2 and a quarter year old son.

However, if you want her to, she can have formula (or expressed milk) from a bottle during the day. I know you think you are being cruel but really, she is controlling you! If she is thirsty, she will drink from a bottle! It just takes a bit of perseverence on your part and certainly should not take 2 hours where both of you are getting more and more distraught - this seems a bit unnecessary to me. If she refuses, put the bottle down and do something else. When she is thirsty, she will drink! I hope everything goes well for you.

Answer 3

They way I handled this was two fold. First, the only things that went into the bottle were formula (or breast milk), water, and pedialyte. All the good stuff like juice, whole milk (when old enough) etc was only available in a sippy cup. The second rule I had was that Mommy or Daddy controlled the bottle, but he could carry the cup around with him. When I had the go ahead to introduce whole milk, I put it in the sippy cup, not the bottle. Took away the formula (which meant taking away the bottles). Milk tastes better than formula and the fact that suddenly he could have good tasting drinks and a little bit of freedom with his drink made him not miss the bottle at all. I think there were a couple of days that we worried about him stealing bottles from the babies at daycare, but that quickly faded with his new found, delicious freedom. I had been planning the disappearance of the bottle from the minute he was born so I this wasn't that difficult. Fortunately, though, a 10 month old is pretty adaptable and lives very much in the now so if you introduced the rules changes now, by the time you are ready to actually transition, everything will be set up to work in your favor.

Answer 4

You really have two problems.

The first is your daughter's unwillingness to switch to a bottle. It's not necessarily because of the calories, because she's getting a lot of them from solids now. She's still needy of mom-attention and she can only get that from you. That's why dad-feedings aren't working so well. If you're around, that's who she wants to drink from, period. For dad or a caregiver to bottle feed her successfully, you have to be completely out of the picture... out of the room, the house, in the basement where she can't see or hear or smell you.

Second is your supply of milk. If you want to use breastmilk for her bottles, you'll have to express/pump it. Get a really good electric-motor model. The hand pumps are difficult to use unless you have 3 hands. When I nursed my sons and needed to express my milk, I found just plain squeezing it out into a 2 cup measure as if I was a cow worked best.

For a while, at work, you will be uncomfortable. You'll need to continue wearing a nursing bra with pads, of course, because you'll leak. You may need to express your milk during the day in the bathroom. Don't save the milk unless you can refrigerate it and bring it home chilled.

After a while your body and your daughter will fall into a more comfortable routine. You'll also find that your daughter will drink from a bottle more readily at the day care center than she will at home.

Answer 5

I can only tell you what worked for us. When I went back to work I totally stopped nursing, but was able to pump every few hours so I wouldn't have to do formula. We found that advent brand bottles worked to best for us. I think you are doing the right thing by having your husband give the bottle, but make sure he's not giving it tto her in the same chair you normally nurse in, and do try and leave the room. If she doesn't see you she won't think of the breast (hopefully). You just have to keep trying and eventually she'll get the idea.

Answer 6

Can you pump breastmilk while you are at work? Then she could have bottles of breastmilk while you are away.

How many hours/days per week are you going to be working? She might try to reverse cycle and do most of her nursing while you are with her and not drink a lot while you are apart.

Have you tried a straw cup? My kids did well with the Rubbermaid "juice box" bottles.
http://www.rubbermaid.com/rubbermaid/product/product.jhtml?prodId=HPProd100042

Have you tried having dad feed her while you are not home? Go out for a walk or something and let him give it a try without you present.

Answer 7

Why did you give your baby STRAWBERRY milk?
that is soooooooo not good.......you think kids are dumb and she'll get back to regular milk?
They're smart......you've given them something they like....you can't take it back....

And you can't give your baby cow's milk before they are one anyways........

Well whatever......
to answer your question:

For me this is what I did which might work for you too......
and you can also try the AVENT sippy cups becuz they have a soft spout compared to other sippy cups.

I breastfed my daughter till she was one.....and when I introduced whole milk to her she took it after awhile........and she didn't like the bottle so it took forever to get her to finish one bottle.......And same thing as yours...she didn't know how to drink from the sippy cup unless I held it for her.....didn't know how to tip it up so she can get the milk. I even tried to give it to her in a cup which she could drink from but was very messy......

Then someone had told me that breastfed babies can drink with a straw faster than babies who were solely bottle fed.

So I got one of those little rubbermaid drink things with the straw inside from Walmart......and she took it......! and I could squeeze it to get her to drink more milk then just sipping it.
She still drinks from this with her water.......and I got her some first year cups with straws and cover on it and she drinks all her milk from there.

http://www.rubbermaid.com/rubbermaid/product/product.jhtml;jsessionid=WCS3KAQGP3EGQCQHUB2CHPQKA4QGIJCK?prodId=HPProd100042

http://www.thefirstyears.com/products/product.asp?pValue=1157


P.S. and consistency is the key....stick with what you start with...
don't go back because you will confuse and frustrate her....

Answer 8

breast milk pump to wean with breast milk. or use formula.
baby will eat when hungry. no whole milk or other . you should get lots of advice from a pediatrician including formula and cereal introduction.
I'm concerned about nutrition ideas that could be very bad for the baby.
and the baby is training you!
get professional advice!

Answer 9

u can do what i did with my son. i breastfed him till he was 2yrs old. i started when he was about 18m i only gave it to him 2 times a day early morning and before bed. then at 21m only at bed time. then at 22-23 i would replace the usually night feeding with an extra bath and he would fall right asleep.