i have a 13 year old son, and at the beginning of the school year he said that he wanted to join football. that was fine with me. well he plays both offense and defense. he mist a couple of practices and we thought for sure he would have lost his position, well he didnt. as a matter of fact he just made captain! well, now he is asking if he can miss practice, { he has a girl friend now } was i wrong to tell him that he cant miss? he is really good otherwise he would not be captain. and i dont want him to be a quiter. am i wrong?
2006-10-13 07:46:14 · 13 answers · asked by here to help 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i would like to add, that the times that he did miss was for an injury, and the other was due to the fact that my car broke down and he had no other way there. he loves football, he even plays on the weekends.he practices 5 days a week and let me tell you he is all black and blue. so im sure the reason for wanting to miss is do to being sore. but as i told him thats to be expected. he is 13 and 6 foot tall, the kids muscle is bigger than the couches, lol
2006-10-13 08:38:26 · update #1
You weren't wrong. He committed to play football and he should finish out the season. If he doesn't want to play next year, then don't make him and if he does want to play next year, remind him how he wanted to quit this year and tell him if he signs up to play it will be for the whole season. Hang in there and stick to your guns.
2006-10-13 07:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't just a question of being a quitter, but about making and keeping commitments.
Explain that he's made a commitment, to the team, that's the other players, the coaches, their families, etc. And that they depend and count on him.
Help him think of ways he can work his schedule so he can still do what he wants, without having to miss the things he's commited to. You might suggest that he invite his girlfriend to watch practice and offer to take them out for pizza afterward or something similar. And you can try and look at other things on the schedule and see where he can have some more significant time with this girl.
Then, once he understands what he's signed up for, and that he has other options, allow him to make the decission of what he will do. Then make sure you point out the consequences of his actions and decisions [both the positive and negative].
This gives him some control over his actions and he doesn't feel forced to be there - which won't be good for anyone as unwilling players usually arn't going to accomplish much - and it helps him understand why this is an important issue.
What's more important here is teaching him why - the right and wrong of it - not just making the decision for him.
At thirteen, this girl is probably not going to be an issue for long. Football [particularly if he's good and could end up with schollarships and such from it] could have a much longer lasting impact on him.
But if he learns now how to look at the problems life gives him objectivly and find solutions that allow him to fulfill his obligations while still having time for his wants, he'll have a leg up on the world and will be more capable of making responcible and adult decisions later in his life.
Good luck, I wish you the best, it's not an easy age, and it's not an easy job.
2006-10-13 14:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Lynn 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you should not let him miss practice over a g/f. He is only 13 this g/f will probably be gone with in a few weeks or a couple months. Unless he really hates playing football and thats the reason he wants to quit. If he wants to quit because he hates it I would get him involved with another sport/activity..If he wants to quit to spend more time with his g/f. (which he is only 13 i cant see him going out on actual dates yet. but i maybe wrong) I would have him invite her to practices and games then maybe take them out for a pizza or something afterwards.
2006-10-13 14:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you are kind of wrong. You want to teach your children to have their own mind and to use it productively. Sometimes we have to let our children live and learn. By giving him no choice will only make him rebel. Try talking with him and letting him know the consequences. It sounds to me that he does not really want to play football otherwise he would not have missed previous practices. Let him know he does have a choice and he really needs to think it through. Good luck. And remember he is 13 and still a child. His decision now will not effect his life.
2006-10-13 14:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now would be a great time to teach him about commitment, and dependency.
He has made a commitment to the football team by accepting the position as captain. The team is dependent on him. If he backs out he will be seen as not being a man of his word.
Good luck.
2006-10-13 14:49:52 · answer #5 · answered by JaMoke 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look, he's the captain. If he quits, that gives everyone on the team carte blanche to quit, too. No, he can't quit, and he should be the first one on the field and the last one off the field at practice - he should be setting examples for other team mates to follow.
He's 13 - the girlies are going to have to wait for big daddy to get off the field.
Not only that, if he's really that good, he needs to think of the chicks that are going to flock to him when he makes Varsity!!
2006-10-13 14:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by gatesfam@swbell.net 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no, you are not wrong, you should enphasize the importance of finishing what you start. My son is 15 and would love to be captain of our football team, he has only missed one practice and has been injured several times in football games and practices. He wouldn't quit for anything... tell him how many of the other guys on his team would love to be in his shoes... good luck, I know its hard to explain things to teens...
2006-10-13 14:50:36 · answer #7 · answered by LittleLady 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No absolutely not! Keep his a$$ in sports if that is what he seems int rested in. My kids are not allowed to quite something they started.
He can chase girls later and chances are if he is the captain, his girl will stay by his side just out of plain jealousy.
2006-10-13 15:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Katmando 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has decided to make a commitment to this, then he needs to do it. If you let him miss practice and not take it seriously, it's just setting him to do it again in the future.
2006-10-13 14:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by Hot Pants 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No i dont think it was wrong. I think you should explain to him why you think it is not a good idea to miss and let him make a decision, and if he makes the wrong one, then make him go....he's 13 and doesnt really think clearly at the moment
2006-10-13 14:51:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋