My fiance' and I bought a new house and are renovating. Anyway last week he send home a framed picture of him, my daughter and his fiance'...... I do NOT want his picture displayed in my home... why would he send home something like that with my daughter.... why wouldnt he keep it at his house. i feel it is completly inappriorite and rude. I know the reason they send it is to make me angry whiched worked but I dont know how to handle this issue.... what would you do.... i feel that it is putting my daughter in an uncomfortable position because i will not not display it.... i put it away and she hasnt asked for it should i just put it away in a box
2006-10-13 07:35:31 · 31 answers · asked by alabama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
maybe i should have mention the fact that he enterned my home a year ago uninvited and beat up my fiance in front of my daughter fled and eluded from the police and eneded up in jail.... they blame me..... thats why i feel the way i do... my daughter is better off with out him! not to mention the emotional abuse he put me through when we were together...... dont like to look at someone who threw my dog across the room or called me nasty names on a daily basis!
2006-10-13 07:50:15 · update #1
CHARGES WERE FILED AGAINST HIM
2006-10-16 07:23:49 · update #2
Sounds like the guy has control issues; I would certainly NOT display his picture in my home. You can keep it for the sake of your daughter stored away, or pack it up and mail it back to him, or just keep the frame, toss the photo, and put one of your own photos in it!
2006-10-13 08:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he did it to make you angry. I too am engaged and my fiancee's ex wife is engaged. My soon-to-be stepdaughter has a picture of her "other family" at our house. I don't see anything wrong with it. On the other hand, I do understand your frustration about it. But think about why you are angry. Just remember that if it bothers you that she has "another family" your ex is probably thinking the same thing. You have to do what's best for the child. Putting the picture up and refusing to let her display it is going to make her upset and will definitely put her in an awkward position. Allow it becuase that's what your daughter wants, even if it may not be what you like. Sometimes divorced parents have to put their differences aside and do what's best for their child. I have had to learn that over the past couple of years. I know it's hard.
Maybe you should send the same type of picture with her to her dad's house.
2006-10-13 14:41:20 · answer #2 · answered by texas y'all! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give your daughter the option of putting it up in her room or on her dresser. By not letting her display it, you are looking like the small person in this, I promise you. Just tell her that you would rather not have it displayed in the common areas of the house, but it is her daddy and if she wants to have it in her room, she is welcome to. My middle daughter told me just a couple of months ago when we moved into our new home that she was very thankful that I did not have a problem with her having pictures of her mom in her room, because her mom will not allow it in her house.
2006-10-13 14:51:49 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like that to me and also he probably was just trying to prove to his newly engaged woman that you and him doesn't have anything going by taking a family portrait and sending it to you. I really think that was rude of him and you should ask him what is he trying to prove. Let him know that is appropriate and you don't want it and you are going to send it back. Tell him to send his pic only to your daughter so she will display it in her room. Let him know that your happily engaged to so there no reason for him to send no family pic of him and his fiance. Express that it didn't make u angry at all. Try not to start a argument, just keep your cool if you call him.
2006-10-13 14:45:08 · answer #4 · answered by BabyGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. Put it away and out of sight. This is your home and pictures should be of you, your daughter and your fiance/husband to be. Just note that your daughter has a right to have pictures of her dad in her bedroom.
Do you really think your ex husband and his fiancee/wife to be is going to have picture(s) in their house showing you and your husband at the time with your daughter? Probably not. However, your daughter should have pictures of you in her bedroom over there.
2006-10-13 14:57:49 · answer #5 · answered by Cathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of making you daughter choose between showing her love for her father and her love for you and your husband to be, why not let her display the picture but in her own room. Maybe your ex didn't send the picture for your viewing but for his daughter? They can't want it displayed in your living room or hall because that is just rude, but I don't think its right to assume that your husband and his fiance are automatically trying to make you angry by sending his daughter a picture!
2006-10-13 14:38:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Since no charges were filed against him you really don't have any issue to stand on. I suggest that you get past this thing of a year ago...it's history, time to move on. He is STILL your daughter's father and she is entitled to have a photo of him with HIS fiance. YOU are the one putting your daughter in the uncomfortable position, by holding this grudge. Grow up and move on.
2006-10-14 04:10:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the people in the photo are part of your daughters life now, so you need to accept that. You don't have to display it where you have to look at it but maybe your daughter would like it up in her room. It's not her fault you guys split, and she has to have to new strangers to content with as parents/step parents. Get over yourself and think of her!
2006-10-13 14:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by rudytute 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is yours. when you got divorced the chance of you and your ex getting remarried was a really big chance. you daughter is going to have a step mother and a step father as well as a mom and dad. why shouldn't she be able to put a picture of the three of them in her room? they are a part of her life just as you and your fiance are a part of her life. you are being petty, and should allow your daughter to display the picture in her room if that's what she wants. you should get it out of it's hiding place and put it in her room while she is in school, and not say another word about it.
YOU need to get over it. there isn't anything wrong with what your ex did. if it upset you, that is your problem that you need to deal with.
2006-10-13 14:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by bmoline 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would let her keep the picture in her room if she likes it and if she wants it displayed.
You should find out why you are so angry of this. If you are over it, let it go. I understand that you are angry because he did this to make you angry.. then.. isn't he winning?
If you see him next time. Tell him how beautiful you thought the picture was and how nice it was of him to let your daughter have a copy of it. The best way to get back at him is to make him think you are completely indifferent.
2006-10-13 14:39:46 · answer #10 · answered by FerymayGirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋