Right or wrong?

Question

Is it right to tell your current partner about your past conquests?

My partner is forever asking what I did and with who, and after 4yrs he hasn't caught on that I just don't like the idea or discussing it. Whereas he wants to tell me and I have to threaten him not to tell - why do I want to know who he's had?!

What do you think? Right or wrong?

Answer 1

DONT DO IT! trust me, after u tell him that he will never forget it..and he will use it against u in fights...if u really think about it..this info is useless to him. hes only gonna wonder and maybe become a bit more jealous. i told my fiance things a few months after we met and now he brings it up...saying "well when you go to beach are u gonna flash people like you used to??" hellllooooo!!!?? I WAS 18!!! you do crazy stuff like that when u r young hot and free. so my advice to you is keep those lips zipped hunny

Answer 2

To me, part of who a person is is their past. It's the past that shapes us, makes us who we are and shades how we view things.

What your partner might be asking is for you to tell him who you are.

If you really are uncomfortable with this, but are interested in continuing this relationship, I'd suggest sitting down with him and discussing what it is about that that makes you uncomfortable and what it is he's really interested in knowing.

If he is interested in getting to know you better, this is a good thing. And you might find that you can slowly start opening up to him. Because sharing your past, is sharing part of you. And when it's sharing about past intimate situations, that's a very deep part of yourself and very sensative.

There's always the fear that you're sharing for the wrong reasons or the other person will take things the wrong way. And it's a real and justified fear. Open up about it, let him know you want to be with him and that while you want him to be completly in your life, you arn't ready yet to let out all the skeletons.

If you talk to him, and it seems the only reason he's interested is to find out how he's doing in comparison, or how kinky you've been, then he's not in the relationship for the right reason or for the long haul.

If he's interested in knowing who you've been with for health reasons, I'd try to allay his fears in a way that doesn't make you uncomfortable.

Really, it all comes down to communication. To being willing to share and be open. If you both understand and try to keep the other's view in mind, you'll do well. If you just shut yourself off from the person you are with, the relationship can't last. Decide what's important to you, and you'll make the right choices.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

It is my opinion that it is better left unsaid. Past conquests tend to make even the mildest partner jealous-no matter what they claim.
Only volunteer if you feel completely comfortable about doing so because it may be thrown back at you at some time in the future.

Answer 4

how do you feel about his past conquests? i take it you may have had more than him? tell him about your long term relationships, starting with the longest and keep it as that one night stands or affairs may cause problems and put him in doubt about you. as long as your honest in what you do tell him you'll be fine lying on a basis of truth wont trip you up. although you do not to know about his it may be good for you to find out, due sexual history etc, i know about most my partners past conquests and it is not pretty as he has lied to the extreme about most of his past s**gs and is still doing it now but im sure your fella is not as bad as my partner, just keep it simple.

Answer 5

The only time I think past sex conquests should be talked about is if there are any fetishes they have that they might expect you to partake in. No details of with who and how, just what the fetishes are. Other than that there is no reason to talk about sexual partners from the past.

Answer 6

The point is: He should respect your wishes and stop pushing!!
If you do tell him how many you had, he will always hold that against you. Some guys are weird like that. Is that the only thing he is really pushy about? Hope everything else is alright! Don`t give in!
Good luck!

Answer 7

A) he suspects that you were a **** before you met him

B) nothing turns on a guy more then a great **** with those lovely artifical breasts for a one night stand.

However, on the stable relationship side, there is nothing that turns OFF a guy more then a former **** who hoppen into a different bed every week.

C) so relax he's just checking and obviously he feels that perhaps you have a slutty past? or not...?

good luck my poor you as you need it..

Answer 8

I think it is a good idea to share with your partner who your past partners have been. Its a way of letting eachother, KNOW eachother in a very intamit way. I want my partner to know me and every aspect of me......... I want to share that information with him and I want to know that information about him as well. If you can't share that with your partner, then what else are you NOT sharing? What reason do you have that you DON'T wanna know these things about your partner? Are you NOT *in love* with this person? Because is you were, then you would be as open as he is, and wouldn't feel the uncomfortableness of the subject. Blessed be.

Answer 9

What you need to ask that if its true love between you then the past is of no consequence only the future and your time together its whats important now,lifes too short for history lessons.

Answer 10

Why don't you just tell him that you don't feel right talking about it. The only reason you want to know what he's had because you might feel the need to be better than she was.