Weve been together for 7 months and engaged.
2006-10-13 07:29:43 · 62 answers · asked by loveznkisssz 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
If he's not committed enough to you to marry you, then by any stretch of the imagination he's not committed enough to you to have a baby with you. Marrage may not be a gaurentee, but it's better than him being able to just walk away and sign away his parental rights, depending on which state. Engaged is not married. As soon as he finds out your pregnant, what makes you think he won't break the engagement? Think with your head, not your hormones. You're not even 21, you can't even go out and drink legally with the girls yet. Do you really want to have to worry about a toddler when you could be going out with your girlfriends in a couple of years?
Have you even graduated highschool? Wouldn't you like a pleasant college experience where you can focus on studying, instead of a baby or toddler?
How are you going to pay for delivery? An uninsured vaginal delivery can run $10,000. Clothing? Food? Bedding? Diapers? Formula? Medical check ups? Ultrasounds? Checkups for the baby? Heaven forbid, during pregnancy, you're hospitalized due to a serious medical problem. Hospital stays can run $500+ a day. Do you really want to be a full time unskilled retail slave for the rest of your life? Do you want to be up to your eyeballs in medical debt because of a silly, teenage hormone induced decision?
2006-10-13 07:34:44 · answer #1 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have a child now before you have a chance to get an education or at least some decent work experience how on Earth are you going to support a child?
Living on your own costs a lot of money without children.
In order to be able to raise a child you must have an income capable of housing, clothing and feeding you and someone else.
Let alone the fact, the things we think we want to do at 17 aren't always the best for us in the long run.
Please put marriage and babies off for a little while longer- take the time to get an education, learn a trade, find out what you really want in life.
2006-10-13 07:40:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you should at least be able to spell the word before you get PREGNANT, and at your age yes it is a "bad" thing. I can't imagine a pair of teens being financially as well as emtionally ready to have and raise a child. Who will be paying for all the pre-natal doctor visits? How about the hospital bill? What if it's a C-Section who is going to pay the surgeon? Who will be paying for the regular visits to the peditrician? What about the Emergency room visits? Where will you be living? What about purchasing a car seat? Diapers? Will you be formula feeding or breastfeeding? If you are formula feeding who will be paying for that as well as the bottles? What about clothes for the child? Shoes? What about daycare? OOPS I forgot you're only 17, not many employers hire fulltime under 18. So ok let's see now 18 years down the road...who is going to be paying for this child's college tuition as well as for the books. Here's a hint, I take ONE class in college and I have paid more than $100.00 for my books ALONE. Do some research on college tuition, come up with a middle ground, an "average" of what it costs to put a kid through college TODAY, then multiply that amount by 10 because it will cost about 10 times as much to put a kid through college 18 years from now..So tell us...17 year old...WHO is going to pay for all of this?
2006-10-13 23:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You REALLY do not want to do this! Trust me children are a lot of work and you and you boyfriend are going to do a lot of changing over the next few years. I know you don't believe me, I know I wouldn't at 17 believe someone who told me this but it is true. I sooooo loved my high school sweetheart. I went to college he went in the military while I did the school thing. When he got out I didn't even like him anymore. My views had changed so much that I don't think he liked me either. I ended up not getting married until my late 20's because I couldn't find anyone. We waited for 4 years before we got pregnant with my first and I SOOO charish those 4 years now that I have a 2 and 4 year old. OK so you want to marry him, fine but don't get pregnant right away. ENJOY your time without kids! You will not regret it, if you wait, but you might wish you had waited if you have them right away. I would rather wait and not wish I had waited. There is so much time for kids, and if you don't get your alone time NOW you will have to wait until your 50 or 60 and even then they are going to stop by and drop their kids off and you won't get that time back!
2006-10-13 07:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by Tara R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only 17. I know at 17 I was not emotionally or financially ready to have kids. My suggestion. Marry your husband, enjoy a year or 2 as a couple. Learn a little bit more about life first. You can't possibly be able to afford to have kids right now. Why make a decision that will ultimately hurt your child in the long run?
2006-10-13 07:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by TRUE PATRIOT 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're still in high school, then wait until you graduate, give yourself a chance to go to college and begin a career. Make sure you're financially stable before trying to bring a baby into this world. It's really hard for two working parents to provide for their children, and you don't want to bring an innocent child into the world without the resources to take care of it. And 17 is so young. I had my first at 20, thinking I was ready, and I wasn't. I wound up giving him up for adoption because I couldn't care for him the way he needed me to. Think long and hard about all the advice you're getting before you make a decision. You asked for advice, now keep acting smart and take what you need and leave the rest. Good luck!
2006-10-13 07:56:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're 17 and engaged...that must means that you and your fiance get along quite well. You get to go out and have fun....and if you don't, you shouldn't be with this guy. If you do, then why would you want to change that? Do you not like going out and having fun? Getting drunk or doing whatever it is that you guys do? If you get pregnant, you won't be able to do that stuff for a very long time.
My sister is 16, and she's pregnant. She'll regret it every single day of her life from here on out. She had to drop out of school, she wasn't able to go to any of the school dances...she wasn't able to sleep over at her best friends house or anything. She doesn't have a job - she's a runaway. She's only 16 and still very much a child. She wanted a baby, too...and now she's got one. Now she can't live her life as a normal 16 yr old would.
I suppose the best thing to do would be to ask yourself if you're really willing to give up your life for a child? Are you ready to not be in school? Note - you spelled 'pregnant' wrong. Are you ready to never see your fiance because he's working 11 hours a day to help support himself and his family? Are you ready to be an adult? All of these questions are extremely important. Do you have reliable transportation, and steady income? Health insurance? If you were to get welfare, that would just prove to me, you and the rest of the world that you ARE NOT ready for a child yet. If you can't support a child on your own, get out of the ballpark while you can.
What about experience? Do you have a LEGIT experience with children? I'm not just talking about babysitting a few times...I'm talking about working in a daycare, taking care of a infant sibling.If you don't, I suggest you try doing one of these things first. I suggest dropping everything you're doing to watch and interact with these children. To take care of them as if they were your own.
Is HE ready? I'm sure the both of you understand what kind of responsibilities come along with having a child. If you KNOW and he KNOWS that the both of you can pull your own wieght and someone elses, go for it.
Just don't bring a child into this world if you're not truly ready. Don't place him/her in a unstable house with unstable income and unstable parents. Make sure you have everything right before you even try to get pregnant. That you know how to sterelize a bottle, how to change a diaper and what you should do if a baby is choking. How to feed it, when and where to feed it, how and where you should lay him/her down for sleep. You should know that you should be working at the minimum 8 hours a day in order to save for this child's clothes, food, toys, bottles, diapers, stroller, etc. By the time you have the child, you should have a good $4,000 saved up.
It's a huge responsibility. If you don't think you can do even one of these, please wait. It would be highly unfair and extremely selfish of you to bring a child into this world at this time.
I hope I helped you in one way or another. Good luck with this.
2006-10-14 02:21:19 · answer #7 · answered by Momma Jette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 19 now and i had my son at 17. I am telling you right now u are making a big mistake and your not only making a mistake for yourself but the biggest one is for the child you "want". You are only 17 i had to drop out of school and i am now trying to finish my high school at home you have no idea how hard it really is. I didnt even think it was going to be this hard. You are not only responsible for yourself you are responsible for another little human being and its a very selfish act if you are not sure on things you should wait untill ur schooling is done high school and college then have a good carrer and a good marrage trust me its worth waiting u dont want to have to give up your first born because u cant support him/her. I was one of the luckey ones that was able to keep mine and support him.
Well please really really think about this u dont want to make a mistake and regret the best experience of being a mother...please wait!
ttyl
P.S i was engaged as well and the guy left us when i was 9 months pregnant so think about that too...U dont know what is capeable of happening.
2006-10-13 08:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by Alicia B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you have a baby now you're throwing away everything that comes with being a free young adult. you won't be able to go out when you feel like it. nothing will ever be spontanious as long as your baby is young. babies also cost alot of money and unless your well off will rarely ver get to spend money on yourself. College will be hard on you and your boyfriend if you have a child and want to go to college. Having a young baby and a job is almost impossible.
Now if you don't want to expierience life in your early 20s without a child then go for it, but my best advice is to at least get married first. Show your love publicly to the world and to each other by getting married and having a family that through the eyes of the law is right.
some people were made to have families young, and i'm not saying you're not one of them, but havinga baby is a big decision so you need to make sure it is truely what you really want and that you are ready for it.
my advice would be to at least wait until you are married, and done with highschool. no matter what you do stay in highschool! if you want to be able to provide for your baby and give her the things he/she deserves you can't without that degree. and of course get married, so your whole family can hav the same last name, and so you and your boyfriend really can be considered a family in the eyes of the law.
2006-10-13 08:00:00 · answer #9 · answered by JD 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just because you are engaged and been together for a certain amount of time, it doesnt mean you should get pregnant..
having a child is hard on someones body, especially at your age...you need to consider your health, your financial status and so on...
you really need to sit down and list pros and cons, i am sure you will find more cons since you are still young...
i had my son when i was 22...i thought that i was ready, had a steady job and got paid very well....but i was not ready...i wished that i should have waited but i wouldnt change anything for the world now..
you are still a teenager, not even old enough to vote or legally drink, think again ok
2006-10-13 07:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by sherichance79 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋