Am I wrong for this?????

Question

I have a BF that lives with me. I have friend that is a lot like a sugar daddy but we are strictly just friends. My friend (*Bob*) gave me money to pay my rent for the year ($12,000) I told my BF about it and he said cool. Well since than he keeps throwing it in my face that *Bob* did this for me and asks me if I have talked to him since than. I told him no because I don't want it thrown in my face. When really I have talked to him on the phone, emailed and had lunch with him occasionally. My BF found out yesterday that this was going on and now is saying that I cheated on him. *Bob* has done so much for me over the last 6 months that I didn't want to lose *Bob* as a friend so I just kept him a seceret. Am I wrong for that. Everything *Bob* has done has benifitted my BF as well so I am thinking I am doing a good thing for my man and making life a little easier for both of us. What do you think???? Not to mention my BF has lied about girls that didn't benifit me or him.

Answer 1

for once....








I have nothing to say!!

Answer 2

Anytime you have a relationship with someone that you have to keep secret, you have a problem.

Also, is "Bob" really a friend or is he, as you said, a "Sugar Daddy." Sorry, but if I were your boyfriend, I'd have a problem with "Bob."

It's clear that there are trust issues in your relationship. I'd also be a little concerned about how "Bob" will blend into the mix in the future. I don't think you're going to go the distance with this boyfriend, and can't help but wonder how future boyfriends will feel about Bob.

I think you should ask yourself what your REAL relationship is with Bob, and is it healthy one for you to have. Would he still be as appealing to you without the money? Do you not want to lose him because "he's done so much for me over the last 6 months" or because you don't want to lose an ATM?

Be honest with yourself about your motives.

Answer 3

I read this Q a couple of times. YES, you are wrong too keep secrets from your boyfriend !! The one thing I have learned in life is that If you don't have "Trust" in a relationship then you have nothing at all.
Why would a guy that is only a friend pay out that much money for you unless he "Thinks" he has a chance with you? If you are leading this guy on then you need too stop!Nothing good will come of it.
Secrets have a way of coming out eventually so take my advise and don't keep secrets from your b/f or "Bob". ! by the way, does "Bob" know how your b/f feels? I'm sure he does, even if you haven't told him.

Answer 4

Secrets are never a good thing. If you feel you have to keep secrets from your mate then there is something wrong. Maybe it's the secret. It is hard to believe that *bob* is just a "friend" if he is shelling out 12,000 a year for your rent. If it's hard for most people to believe it then what makes you think your boyfriend should believe it. If something smells bad then it probably is bad.

Sounds like you both need to grow up and provide for yourselves and quit depending on a "sugar daddy".

Answer 5

Admit that you've got to be doing something for Bob - I find it hard to believe that this man would willingly give you all this money without seeking anything in return. Ditch the sugar daddy and work for a living - make your own money. I don't blame your boyfriend for being annoyed by it - that is awful!

Answer 6

well i would say hell nah its not wrong. but if you think about it yes its wrong. but i know, it feels so right. Ive been in this situation before. i know you should never lead someone on into taking their money. technically since you have a boyfriend you shouldn't take any money from another dude because some people classify it as "cheating"but i don't see how.and then your boyfriend may become jealous about the situation. and he shouldn't be lying about the other girls anyway too.you both need to be honest with each other. this is just a hard situation. i say go for it, but the right thing to do is not to do it. but the choice is yours.

Answer 7

um, theres a problem with the fact that you were just giver $12,000 by some guy. its great that he wants to be your friend... but why is he just give you thousands of dollars? and why are you just taking it... thats a little off...
yes, lying to your boyfriend is a problem... so is his petty behavior but i'm sure he can't help but wonder "what does bob expect in return for this money" or "what did she do to make bob give her $12,000"
you've got yourself stuck in a real sh*t storm there...

Answer 8

Well why dont the two of you just get ahead without using "BOB" as your supporter?Work your own jobs,and pay your own bills without using this person as a means of depending on him for paying your rent.Stop for a second,and think.Wont this bob want something on return,or are you already secretly giving him a return favor?

Answer 9

There's a secret agenda here, and your b/f is picking up on it. You know it, stop pretending. If he was seeing a woman who was giving him thousands of $$ you would be the first one to make a fuss about it. Go with your b/f, or go with Bob - but not both.

Answer 10

I'm sorry, but wheather he is a friend or not, you shouldn't be accepting money to pay your own finances, no matter how "in the hole" you are. You also shouldn't be lying to your boyfriend, either. This is going to ruin the relationship.

Also, when someone gives you so much money like that, and doesn't expect you to pay them back, they may be expecting payment in another way, or they are buying your friendship. Whatever the case, you need to stop seeing this guy!

Answer 11

Well, sooner or later Bob is going to want something in return for his generosity.

If you're both keeping things from each other, I don't see why you're even together. Relationships are built on honesty and trust among other things such as love and fidelity.