I hear many times that people have to work on the relationships and not everything can be ideal. Well, we have very good times. I do love, like and care for this person. But every so often we are going through the same cycle - there is something emotionally strange. He has mood swings, may be it is bi-polar desease, I don't know. But it exhausts me. He can passionately invite me to go out for dinner, he pays, but instead of a good evening I am going through a tough times. He becomes quiet, does not respond to my attemps to connect. He shuts off and shuts me off too. Good times often become bad times. My suggestion to seek help and get some pills rejected. He gets offended! So I don't know what to do. I can't go on like this and I would suffer to break this relationship. Any ideas what can be done to save it?
2006-10-13 06:35:46 · 12 answers · asked by NONE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Do things where the two of you are both in your comfort zones. Maybe he doesn't like fancy dinners and was just doing it for you. Maybe he's a sports bar kind of guy and he'll feel more comfortable in that atmosphere. Maybe he holds things in that aren't relationship related but really bother him (like work or school). Be extremely open with him, I mean to the point that you tell him what color underwear you put on that morning. If you spill your guts to him about your feelings, thoughts, and emotions, eventually he will start to do the same and then whatever is effecting him will come out. Don't ever judge him. Make him feel like he can tell you anything. Good luck.
2006-10-13 06:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by Just gorgeous dahling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its goign to come down to just how much suffering you want to go through. I take it you are not married so there isn't really any legal reason why you can't break this off.
This person most likely has a medical condition and could be depressed or like you said bi-polar. The ONLY way to correct this is for them to see someone about it. They need to go see a doc. Now.. the doc may or may not give them meds for this it depends on what the real problem is!!! however if they don't want to even think about getting help then YOU need to decide of YOU want to be in a relationship where you are constantly wondering what to do. It can't be fun and enjoyable for you so I'm at a loss as to why you put up with it.
So.. decide what will hurt more... breaking up or going on as is. since you are asking the question I'm going to assume that you are getting to the point where the as is is almost as bad as the breaking up.
2006-10-13 06:41:32 · answer #2 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes two people to make a relationship work so, if you are trying to save it by yourself, you probably won't succeed. If he is bi-polar you are in for a lot of heart break if he isn't getting treatment and you won't be able to sustain this relationship very effectively. You may want to ask yourself what are the redeeming characteristics of this person and then try to balance them against the negatives you see. Only you can make that decision. Good luck.
2006-10-13 06:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by LARRY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RE: Possible to save relationship after abuse? My boyfriend has suffered some severe emotional abuse from me, at first things were great but then after about a year of us being together I started having extreme mental health and emotional issues like rage and depression and I'm so messed up on the inside, and because of me my guy has be...
2016-03-28 07:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can see his mood swings coming than you could teach yourself to let him be during these times. You can be quiet if he's being quiet. You can read a book instead of cuddling up on the couch. Just let him pass through these moments without interference and see what happens. Who knows, as the relationship progresses you might enjoy your "alone" time from time to time. I think instead of trying to fix him you might need to learn to treat him differently during those times.
2006-10-13 06:41:36 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately I don't think you can save your relationship until he gets help. It sounds like he has a problem, maybe even a severe bi-polar problem. If he insists on not getting help or at least be checked for anything, you may want to consider leaving.
2006-10-13 06:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by Fuzzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suffer from some depression related illness as well, so I know how hard it is for the person..... if you really love him... you have to wait... treat him with tenderness, it is the only way to soften him up, build trust, dont keep reminding him of his weird behaviour..... just give him a lot of love.... he may not seem to be reciprocating, but believe me, he appreciates your love and kindness, he treasures you more than any other object in the world. open up to him: you know he feels that he has nothing to give to the world, just hold him tight, hold him close to your bosom and bask in the warmth of companionship; soon he will be eating out of your hands.
2006-10-13 06:42:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you want to save this relationship? Move on with your life. Find somone normal who makes you happy.
2006-10-13 06:39:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't go to councelling maybe you should go alone. There they will give you resources to help you make good decisions, based on sound information.
2006-10-13 06:44:12 · answer #9 · answered by nothing anymore 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mood swings, is he doing drugs?
2006-10-13 06:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋