My parents are going through such a hard time and I think this is the final straw. My father has left my mom and they are in their early fifties. I am 25 now today and I just want to know some information on how to deal with situations like this?
2006-10-13 06:25:37 · 6 answers · asked by Gina Beana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One day at a time hun.
2006-10-13 06:27:02 · answer #1 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, the divorce is not about you. You need to plaster this all over your apartment, especially the mirror. When you look at yourself, realize it is not about you.
Second, unless there is physical abuse involved, don't take sides. One of the favorite games of divorcing couples is to use their children as "he said/she said" dumping grounds. Neither can you repeat it to the other party because then you have left the middle.
Third, it is neither your responsibility nor w/in your ability to solve it. Doctors don't operate on their own families.
Fourth, take good care of yourself. Set your boundaries, communicate them, and hold to them. You are not required to listen to your mom cry for 3 hours or go drinking w/ your dad. You have your own life/world and you need to stay in it to survive.
Fifth, expect to feel and accept the fact you will need to go through the standard steps of grief. The amount and order of grieving processes is different for each individual.
Sixth, if one or both of your parents quickly hooks up w/ another person (average is 7 months for widowers - for example), it is not your job to report to the former spouse or validate the new bf/gf. Your boundaries can even become stronger. It's hard to see a mother/father w/ someone else. I've experienced both.
Seventh, if you haven't already, find a support group for you - not to report the family issues, but for you.
Eighth, learn to say, at least once per contact, usually afterwards, "I FEEL ... about."
Nineth, I am a pastor and have found God has incredibly broad and deep In boxes. I commend God's love to you.
2006-10-13 17:08:59 · answer #2 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i almost went through it but thank god they got back together all i did was needed support from my family and my husband i dint take side's i talked to both of them and i really didnt think about it i blcked it out dont beat ur self up over it
2006-10-13 13:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a support group called devorce care it is for people getting devorced but they also have a group for the children you may look online for one close to you.
2006-10-13 13:29:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no easy solution to make you feel better, you just stay out of it, and be there for both your parents
2006-10-13 13:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DIVORCE IS HARDEST ON THE CHILDREN, I WISH YOU GOOD LUCK. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT HAVING A FUNCTIONAL DIVORCE, IT IS POSSIBLE.
2006-10-13 13:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋