My boyfriend of 5 years and I split up 5 months ago, it was a mutual decision, but now he wants us to get back together. I don't feel the same way and have met someone else, he doesn't know about this however. Is it possible to remain friends with my ex under these circumstances or is it just me being idealistic? Is it better for everyone if I never see him again? Or could we form a plutonic friendship despite our history?
2006-10-13 05:46:57 · 31 answers · asked by kchick8080 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As romantic as the idea may seem, it never works. I think it has to do mainly with knowing how you loved the other and when your just friends, it is like hanging out with a ghost. There they are, but that's not them, not like you remember it. Your constantly thinking, are they coming on to me. Was that slight brush up, intentional. Then to go on into how furious your new boyfriend will be when he finds out you've been hanging out with your ex. Even if he says he doesn't care, he REALLY REALLY does.
2006-10-13 05:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by Dustin S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, after reading the first words, I thought I was in the same situation as you are (except that the split was longer ago). But for the 5 years and the mutual decision, it's exactly the same.
But when I read what was following, it was completely different. My opinion is, that if it was a mutual decision to break up, you both probably had good reasons to take that decision. And the fact that you met somebody else proves that you were right taking that decision.
A while ago, I would have said it's possible to remain friends with you ex, but I really doubt now. It didn't work with my ex, even if none of us wanted to start our story again. Of course, we can't make a generality out of every story, and it also really depends of what you and your ex want.
If both of you agree to remain friends without anything else, it could work, but for sure, it won't be easy.
2006-10-13 05:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by diehia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG I was in this kind of situation...
We split up as an agreement...then there was about 2 months where we were apart and didn't meet at all. Then, about 2 1/2 moths later, he was really weird to me. We dont talk very much, but he's started being quite cruel. We knew each other really well, and it's a big shock.
You can still be friends, its very possible...im just unlucky. You should be really good friends! Go for it!
If it doesn't work, you have yourt other guy to lean back on :D
2006-10-13 05:51:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering the same thing, some close friends of mine have proved it is possible to stay friends with your ex, in fact they get on better now than they ever did.
Tell him things have changed in the last 5 months, tell him YOU have changed as a person, that you've moved on and that he should too. You dont have to tell him you've met someone else but you do need to tell him that you'r not in that place right now
2006-10-13 05:55:19 · answer #4 · answered by wild boar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a ex boyfriend that I went with for 7 years and we was engaged things didnt work out so 2 and 1/2 months ago we broke up and we are best friends now so it is possible to be friends with your ex.
2006-10-13 05:51:43 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he wants to get back together while you're moving on already, I'd say it's highly unlikely for you both to remain as friends. If I were you, I would stop seeing him completely. Let him know that it's impossible for you to get back together. A platonic friendship could be possible, but definitely not in the near future while he still has feelings for you.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-13 06:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Ling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are seeing someone else and he still wants to get back with you, then its better if you dont become friends coz it wont work. It has to be a mutual consent between the two of you that you will only remain friends and thats the extent which both of you are willing to go.
2006-10-13 06:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Jon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Platonic is the ideal, but young bucks don't work that way. How do you KNOW he isn't aware of this new flame of yours? What do you think brought him back, anyways? How about territorialism. Let him know that you are not interested and that your life has moved forward. You are happy in your choices. If you waver even a little bit, you will be in for a long treacherous struggle. Don't bring up being just friends. It doesn't compute for men.
2006-10-13 05:50:22 · answer #8 · answered by H2Ocolors 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Impossible
2006-10-13 05:48:32 · answer #9 · answered by MissRussia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a go, I'm still friends with my ex but we didn't see each other for couple of years after we split
2006-10-13 05:50:36 · answer #10 · answered by diamond Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋