we have 2 beautiful girls and we've been on and off for 10 yrs, finally we decided to get married, because obviously there is something there that keeps drawings us back to each other. We trust each other 100%, but all we do is work, and stay home.. I've approached him on this issue, and told him I wanted a little more romance from him, and to do more as a family, He's been away most of his life, and hasnt really had a chance to date,. he used to buy me lingerie and take me out and just chill at home with fire and desire playin in the back round and just chillin,he's very goodlooking, smart, a hardworker, good husband, good father, he's just good overall. the only thing we're lacking is romance, and just communicating about issues like this, it just turns into an argument. He wants me to teach him how to romance or what romance really is to a women and i dont mind that, but i just want him to come up with his own way of romancing me or surprising. Any ideas on where to start?
2006-10-13 05:41:27 · 23 answers · asked by Sicilian Princess 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Women think about romance all the time, for men... not so often. So if he hasn't already, then maybe it' snot a natural instinc to him. My boyfriend is the same way. So sometimes I cook a nice meal and serve it to him nude. Or he comes home to candles, wine and music with me in a lacy new teddy. And more and more he starts to ge the hang of it. He bring me flowers for no reason or chocolates. And we LIVE together so the puppy love stage is GONE, trust me. But I find that if you are truly satisfied with who your man is, the best time to spend are nights eating dinner and watching Law & Order. I love stuff like that.
2006-10-13 05:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not to sure why women think a man should know how to romance a lady. Not to many men grow up with there dads telling them these things. If he need help then you should give it to him. Maybe you can tell him to watch a certain movie that you find romantic and he can get tips from it. Or maybe you can buy some books for him. Or maybe you should do some romantic things or him so he can get some ideas. Take the girls to grandmas for the night, have candles lit all around the house, give him the rose petals on the floor all the way to your room, have them sprinkled on the bed as well, be wearing a sexy outfit or nothing, have some wine or whatever you drink, and some finger food you both can enjoy eating off each other, chocolate, whipped cream, strawberries etc...show him how its done. He seems like a great husband he just needs the help.
2006-10-13 06:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never wait for him to start. Why don't you do something romantic first for a few time suntil he gets the hint. Put the girls to sleep early cook-up a non traditional meal for two with candles and all those good stuff. Get dress like if you are going to a movie premiere. And do something naughty! Have sex with the curtain open. Trust me all that's goin to be you two minds, what if the neighbors see you, so what! Worry about bills not what people say. That should really spice up your love life. Plus remind him of anything romatic he has done in the past or the little things he does that you love, sometimes people have to get reminded. If he has never done anything make a game up! Blind fold him like the movie Sweet November.
2006-10-13 05:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by vp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you changed the context around the nature of marriage and your expectations about the relationship and your husband, you might be able to turn this around.
What I mean is that marriage isn't there to make you happy. Marriage isn't there to pep up your romance and all that gooey stuff. If you have children, then a marriage is a way to provide a stable and loving environment for your children to grow up in. If your children are brought up in an atmosphere of love in a two parent household, they will be much more stable when they grow up.
Also, cut your husband a little slack. Usually men in a marriage are doing the best they can. We are generally oblivious to what our women want from us unless we have trained ourselves to understand (well, kind of understand) our wives. I'm sure that your husband loves you and wants to give you what you need.
I'd suggest telling your husband exactly what you'd like from him. We generally aren't very good when it comes to hints. You'll get much better results with a man if you just tell him what you want. If you hint then you will probably be disappointed in the end.
Good luck.
FP
2006-10-13 05:47:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start by scheduling time for each other in your lives and making plans. I know you want him to do the planning but if he has never done much dating then he has no real idea of what to do. So take control and make plans and do things that bring the romance back into your lives. It will take a good amount of time but eventually I think your husband will understand and start to involve himself more in the plans.
2006-10-13 05:47:29 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you. My husband of 20 years is NOT romantic, never has been and never will be. It's something I have come to accept along the way of many arguments of trying to turn him into something he's not. Romance means different things to different people. Tell him what your idea of romance is. Remember though, is he said he wanted Betty Crocker could you turn into a fantastic cook?
2006-10-13 05:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not physic. Of course the know the basics for being romantic, but what works on one woman might not work for the next so they do need guidance. Theres nothing wrong for a woman to teach her man what it takes to make her happy. If he comes up with something and youre not so thrilled with it, then its not his fault, its your fault. You've got to step up to the plate girlfriend and tell your man exactly what it is that you want. Give him a romantic evening so he'll get an idea of what you expect. It seems to me by your statement that you have a terrific guy, not all of us are so lucky, enjoy and many blessings to you and your family.
2006-10-13 06:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, for one thing, you should count your blessings that he IS such a good husband and provider. If you show him what pleases you romance-wise, before long he will develop his own tecnique. He obviously loves you or he wouldn't even ask or care if you were satisfied or not. Try some role play....or romance in a different room ...get a motel room and pretend you're having an affair! He wants to please you. Show him and soon you'll be glad you did.
2006-10-13 05:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by blondee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt he's too exhausted after romancing his girlfriend the majority of the time. At least you're always going to be considered as "the mother of his children" so don't feel badly about it.
2006-10-13 05:50:18 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me alot like every relationship that goes from casual to marriage. Marriage ruins everything. After 10 years together and a lifelong commitment what more do you need from him?
Try cutting him off until he does something you are looking for.
I guarantee he will come up with something.
2006-10-13 05:45:59 · answer #10 · answered by 49er 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋