My wife and I (in our mid 20's) have been together for 5 years, and she has wanted a baby for about 2 years now. About a year ago we decided to plan for our first baby, we bought safe cars, paid off all our debt, traveled, did home improvements, etc. We decided to start in January 2007 because our house will be paid off in August 2007 and we will have plenty of money for a baby.
My wife has been getting more anxious lately about trying for a baby. We have 3 more months before our “starting” date and she is getting moody with me because she feels she has been waiting for years and the last few months have been torture for her. Two of her friends (been with their boyfriends for less than 2 years) are pregnant, so now she is more upset then ever.
How do I get her to be patient for the last 3 months? I am excited too, but she is way anxious to start and I feel bad for telling her no, but we need to wait until January. I want all my ducks in a row before we start trying!
Help me!
2006-10-13 05:28:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
hehe..whats three months...you might start trying three months early....and not get pregnant for a whole nother year...if she is in her mid 20's thats her biological clock lol..perfectly normal..but if you MUST wait and you absolutely WONT give in...sit her down and have a heart to heart...if she loves you and you all are close..lol then she will listen...I worship the ground my baby's dad walks on if I throw a fit about something and he really feels strongly on it...if he talks I always reluctantly give in...good luck
2006-10-13 05:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I applaud you guys for trying to be financially responsible for your children! I think every couple should take the steps that you have.
To get her to be more patient:
1. remind her that she'll probably be sick for the first 3-4 months... who'd want to be sick around Christmas and New Years? It sucks!
2. Let her start buying things for the baby...a blanket here, an outfit there...
3. Make some fantastic plans for New Years...so she won't want to possibly be sick. You could start trying on that night!
That being said--you and your wife are only disagreeing over 2 1/2 months. Not 2 years, 2 1/2 months! If you got pregnant tomorrow, would it be financially hard on you guys? Sounds like it won't be-- Yes, you won't have the exact amount in your bank account that you think you'll have...but things would be fine. And that's if you got pregnant tomorrow! It could take 6 months! Or a year!
Personally, I think you should split the difference with her and start trying around Thanksgiving. 2 1/2 mo isn't worth the resentment she probably has towards you--especially since she's supported you in getting financially prepared for the child.
2006-10-13 06:00:39 · answer #2 · answered by applesoup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it may seem to you that you are being prudent and playing it safe. She is only thinking about the end result, not the steps you have planned out to get there. You have to understand that it is hard for her to be patient when all she wants is a bundle of joy.
Three months is not too long to wait. However, being a male perhaps you don't understand that having a baby does not necessarily happen on the first try or on the 10th try. It happens when it happens.
Try explaining to her again that you would feel more secure knowing that you are out of debt and that then you know without a doubt that ther will be no financial burden and you will be able to support her and the baby comfortably.
2006-10-13 05:36:12 · answer #3 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tough Question. Understand her she is excited and anxious. I would suggest to start trying little by little. Give her something to go on. Tell her that time will come. Even when she gets pregnant she still has to Wait 9 more months to see her pride and joy. Know when you start to plan your first baby it takes a while for your partner to get pregnant. I know i never planed mine out and it just happen, but when i wanted to plan my next one it took me 4 months of trying to get pregnant. You should start for her. It won't hurt you in the long run. Her waiting 2 years, is like not having sex for 2 years and you are anxious to get some. Its the same thing. Believe me she has waited enough and you as a partner should know that. She has been waiting for you to be ready. At least she waited, but she has had enough and i understand her anxious and excitement. Believe e me if you need help with financial purposes. There is a lot of things like WIC. Etc. to help you with your child. Are you ready? To start? If you are then go ahead and try.
I hope the best of luck to both of you and your unborn child.
2006-10-13 05:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's highly unlikely that she will get pregnant the first month you try, that only happens when you're not trying to get pregnant LOL! I don't know, do you really think 3 months will make that much of a difference? You never how long it will take, she could mis-carry and you'd have to wait and start over again, or the baby could even be premature.
I commend you for being so financially responsible, but I don't think a few months will make such a huge difference.
Something else to think about: I think anyone who's been pregnant would agree the worst months to be in your last trimester is the summer because of the heat.
I don't know, is it really worth the argument?
2006-10-13 05:43:23 · answer #5 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, the joys of Babies!! Women have this nesting thing that they feel in their bodies. It is hormonal. It is a longing. It is commonly known as the "ticking of the biological clock". Which is fine. But imagine you have a clock inside you that keeps ticking and all you want to do is get it to stop. Or like an itch you can't reach and no sticks around for help. It's like that. She can't help it. I want to applaud you for getting repared for such a big event in your life. very few are prepared and causes a lot of discord between a husband and wife or financial woes. You are gonna be well prepared to give this child the attention they so richly deserve. And that is how you expalin it to her. She not only wants a baby but she wants to be ready for the child as much as you do. Everytime she looks at her friends' growing beautiful bellys she will ache more. But it will be best to wait till both of you are ready. In the mean time give in to her baby fix a lil. Take her to a baby class, look and buy baby clothes at the store, anybody need a sitter! Come up with something creative and help out a friend who needs a day off, and you will be helping everyone involved including you.
2006-10-13 05:58:31 · answer #6 · answered by Leash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was 35, and not 25, I might understand her wanting to start right away, because the older you get, the more risks of birth defects you have.
But you both are so young,what difference does a few months make?
You made a plan together, and now she wants to change the plan and start earlier. I have to ask why she doesn't want to wait, but then I also must ask you, why not just start early? Maybe you could meet her halfway and start in 1.5 months? I mean really, what's the difference? You can still pay off your mortgage while she is in her first trimester, so I guess I don't see why both of you are being stubborn on this?
Bottom line: someone's got to give in on this, or you can meet each other halfway. You love each other a lot and are both happy in your marriage, right? If so, then please work this out together. I am sure you can.
2006-10-13 05:40:14 · answer #7 · answered by EmLa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have gotten this close already, why don't you start trying because it probably will take a few months to get pregnant anyway. Then, there is 9 months of pregnancy ... and the house would be paid off.
I definitely know how hard it is to watch friends have their babies when you want one so bad.
Mother of two under age 2 - age 40
2006-10-13 05:47:18 · answer #8 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can always talk to her. Personally I'd distract her with some project. Maybe if you can get her interested in something that will take about 3 months the time will go faster. Maybe painting the nursery? She doesn't want to do that while pregnant because of the fumes. Maybe she could buy a crib or clothes just to get ready. Or it could be something that has nothing to do with babies. Good luck and good job attempting to be ready for a baby when you have one.
2006-10-13 05:35:39 · answer #9 · answered by zara01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like your ready.. just read what you wrote.. you bought safe cars, paid off your debt, did all your traveling and made your home improvements.. why wait three months.. go ahead and get her pregnant because the first three months of her pregnancy you wont have to fork out ANY money.. ha ha So start now and in three months you will already be three months ahead.... For a woman its important.. she obviouly wants a child with you because she loves you and she knows she is ready, it sounds like she is yearning for you to have the same feelings that she is having... hell im a 22 year old college student and me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, and as soon as I told him I was pregnant.. he made himself ready.... we didnt have the luxury of no debt and all of that, but were are so happy and we know we can do it.. just like you can do it....
2006-10-13 16:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by Fashion Diva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first trimester is when women experience a lot of fatigue and nausea. Tell her this is the last holiday season you will have alone with her and you really wouldn't want to have her feeling exhausted and nauseous throughout Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Tell her you want to take this time to romance her and enjoy this last holiday for "just you two." Then start spoiling her. Go to dinner, go to all the holiday parties while she can still have a drink....take a weekend out of town...also hard to do with an infant.....go dancing, not great at 7 or 8 months pregnant,either.
Then, on Christmas Eve, give her the gift of "trying".........
The window is closing on your time to do what you want when you want...tell her you want to make the most of it.....Happy Holidays!!
2006-10-13 05:50:14 · answer #11 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋