My Step-Dad just was telling a story about a outing he & my husband went on last week where my husband was making comments about these 2 women being fine & sexy & all that stuff. Should I take it personally or just get over it? One was at our local bank & another was a local sales lady. I thought of saying something because we have always had problems of him & other women but he swears that he is a changed man. Answers Please!
2006-10-13 05:17:53 · 11 answers · asked by "karma" 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That would bother me a lot too. I've been cheated on....twice, and so you (and everyone else knows), it wasn't because I'm a lousy lover, or denied them good sex or anything like that.
Anyway...I know what it feels like and don't blame you for wondering. I doubt that talking to him would help much at this point, given that I get the impression that you've been down this road with the guy.
Unless there is something that he wants (from you) and isn't getting I don't think there's a whole lot you can do. Sometimes people get complacent, or just need that thrill, or boost to their ego. It's a terrible demon to contend with in a relationship.
Is counseling an option?
From my own personal experience....when I am with someone and in love with them, I tend to lose all interest in 'looking' at other women, or porn, or anything like that. I almost always fantasize about that person when I'm not with them. I can look at another woman, and I can say they are attractive, but my heart refuses to allow me to see, or feel anything further with anyone else than the person I'm with. I'm not your typical guy tho. Not just because of that, but that's part of it I guess.
Anyway, having said that, it's kind of troubling that he can look at others and make those comments.
:(
hug
2006-10-13 05:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you're asking the question means that it's bothering you. It's not personal "about" you and has everything to do with your hubby. Maybe tell him that his making comments makes you feel "insert your feelings". I have been through this and those kind of comments always made me feel like I never measured up. We read a bunch of marriage books that said things like when he says to a woman "that's a stunning dress" is different than "you look stunning in that dress". Also, as a female you know how we take these comments.
2006-10-13 12:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a guy, a not very sophisticated guy but a guy nonetheless. This story was probably related so you could take him under wing and point out that is very unbecoming to remark about other women while being married to his daughter. The practice is a bit crass anyway.
2006-10-13 12:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can "change" at a drop of a hat. Sounds like you might have to be prepared to put up with at least *some* of it for as long as you're married to him. Arguing or confronting him won't do much good; the episode you described sounds innocent enough to just let it go. Pick your battles wisely - or you're gonna end up fighting about everything.
2006-10-13 12:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Harmless flirting is normal. We all need to know that others are interested as long as it doesn't go beyond flirting.
It seems you guys have had problems with infidelity. Perhaps as a couple you should seek therapy. Any relationship without trust is destined for failure.
Best wishes.
2006-10-13 12:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nah! we always comment about the ladies. No harm, just a silly man thing. I even do it with my dad but rarely and his 70yrs. Its just harmless chat.
2006-10-13 12:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by jackbauer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yep I agree Actions Speak Louder than words.
SO since he feels no remorse for his actions, don't you feel any remorse for your actions as you move out that door.
Good luck.
2006-10-13 12:29:38 · answer #7 · answered by razzyrascal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nothing wrong with looking at the menu as long as you don't order.
2006-10-13 12:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by bad_bob_69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
actions speak much louder than words.
2006-10-13 12:20:13 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DOES NOT SOUND LIKE HE HAS CHANGED TO ME. YOUR CALL, YOUR CHOICE!!!
2006-10-13 12:21:28 · answer #10 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋