Everytime we argue there is always yelling, crying, etc. The problem is never big but, ends up being terrible because he brings up things in the past all the time. Arguements that are finished and not even a thought. Im not big on being right or wrong I just want the problem to be solved with both of us at agreement.
To me the arguement get so big is because too me he offends me by say im crazy or just nagging but whatever it is it has to be bothering me alot if im saying something. But, we rarely argue, Are there any suggestions for how to solve this problem?
2006-10-13 05:12:30 · 7 answers · asked by KeKe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Try to ignore the little things that bother you about him because if you pi point each of them- you will end up in a divorce. Guys a re just different. US women are more emotional creatures and guys are really good at insulting and bringing up old stuff. Trsut me, that's the problem i have with my Fiancee. When he stays the night at my place the littlelest thigns he does bug me so much. For examlple- leaving the towels on the floor after he showers or leaving toothpaste residue on the sink, not putting his dirty clothes in the dirty clothes hamper. etc.etc. I've learned to ingnore these things and leave things the way he leaves them and when he complains about the mess i jsut remind him that it was all him. I even video tape it all so he can see. He tells me i have a attitude problem because these little things bother me and when we argue i record the whole argument so he can see himself how he talks to me and yells and insults me when we argue. Form a different persons point of view- it seems worng to him as so he says so he's learned to not insult me. If you video tape your husbad while you are argue and show him later after a few days then he will realize where teh problem is and that he insults you more than he thinks he does. Trust me it works!!
2006-10-13 05:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you must both understand that men and women react and respond to conflict in very different ways. Men prefer to think about a problem and let the pressure from the incident die down before confrontation. Once resolved it is OVER. Women on the other hand, prefer to air out their differences on the spur of the moments and will bring it up at the next confrontation.
Learn to give each other the time to resolve the situation individually before sitting down to dialog.
Easier said than done, I know, but it takes discipline and the desire to improve the relationship with the ones we love.
2006-10-13 12:20:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem. No matter what i try to discuss with my husband, it gets thrown all out of context and we would end up fighting. So, what I did was to write my thoughts and feelings down on paper and put them in his lunch. then as he has his lunch he can read what i have to say. This gives him most of the day to think about what i wrote. And, believe it or not he usually comes home with some flowers and we sit and talk things out. Try it , it may work for you too.
2006-10-13 13:00:35 · answer #3 · answered by flwrgrl692001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the discussion at hand and dont let other topics cloud the discussion, if the conversation seems to be bouncing back and forth just remind him and yourself to refocus on the situation.
2006-10-13 12:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You two need to learn how to communicate with each other properly.
2006-10-13 12:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by whymewhynow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
see a counselor and work on communication skills
2006-10-13 12:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think if it's your fault he she hit you.
2006-10-13 14:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by Wesleystock 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋