I know I'll get split answers here, the half of you that think I'm a bad mom for not wanting to hold my baby all day and all night, and the half of you who will say I am "spoiling" her.
But here it is anyway and I hope I get at least one good suggestion:
My little girl is 7 weeks old and cries and works herself up into a frenzy when I lay her down for a nap or at night. She isn't gassy (I can tell when she is) and will have a full belly and fresh tush and I make sure she is not too hot or cold etc. It seems that all of her needs are being met except one. She wants mommy or daddy. She will relax almost instantly and fall asleep when we pick her up and the moment you lay her down again she is screaming. I don't know what to do about it, she is a fabulous baby until she goes to sleep!! I've tried everything I can think of and I am hoping someone has a trick to suggest. Help Please!
2006-10-13 05:05:44 · 22 answers · asked by totspotathome 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I'm not a "new" mom, I have a 3 1/2 year old son, but I never had any problems with him sleeping.
2006-10-13 08:30:08 · update #1
You love your baby and that is the most important part.
My girlfriend had the same problem. She would wrap her baby VERY tightly in a blanket (known as swaddling). She would rock her to sleep and then put her in a cradle that was prepared for her the following way---the cradle was lined on either side with tightly rolled blankets so that she fit snuggly in the middle. Then she would lay a warm heating pad in the middle. She would REMOVE the heating pad at the last second. This way the baby was nestled in a warm cozy area and felt as though it was still being held.
Yes, this may be spoiling her a bit, but a new mom need a break too!!!
I wish you luck!!!
2006-10-13 05:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by Lady Scientist 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't a single person out here who would think ill of you for wanting a few minutes of space or peace, lol.
I have two boys, admittedly they didn't give me a whole lot of grief in that area but I remember how they didn't initially like getting put down in their crib, no matter what time of day so what I did was pull the crib over to the open door of their room which looked out into the living room, put them in with a couple of soft toys & pacifier and put the baby in there while I mopped the floor or tidied up or while cooking as they could see me from the doorway. They quickly got used to the idea that the crib was a place to chill out, play or to keep an eye on me!!! I was able to get things done and could talk, sing or dance to my favorite songs for them and every now & then, I would swoop over and plant a kiss. If they were tired, they would eventually just fall asleep and I could gently wheel the crib back further and shut the door. After about a month of that, they just didn't fuss anymore about getting put down. The important thing is too make the crib a place to relax, not just to go to sleep and be shut away from everyone, sort of like a playpen which i never bothered to buy. You have to be firm and once in a while they'll just be fussy for no reason and demand to be picked up, DO NOT GIVE IN ALL THE TIME -They know exactly what blackmail is!! and you just have to let them wait a while, they have to learn patience. Good luck.
2006-10-13 05:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by laveranda1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that a baby under 4 months old can be spoiled. She may just want to be close to you, but however you may need to look into a swing. The same thing happened with my son and as soon as we got a swing he began to sleep just fine. I won't say you are a bad mom or that you are spoiling her, but I will say that breaking her of this soon would be in your and her best interest so that you can get some rest. Swaddling may help too. You may need to just let her cry herself to sleep, as hard as it may be. It was the only way I ever got my son to fall asleep on his own. At this age it's ok for her to cry for about 10 to 15 minutes if you know she is tired. If she is still crying relentlessly after that long, it's perfectly fine to go in there and comfort her. If all else fails ask your doctor if something could be wrong or for some tips that maybe none of us have thought of. Good luck!
2006-10-13 10:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by d4cav_dragoons_wife84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 3 1/2 months old and until recently he was the exact same way. The in home nurse came to my house and could tell the I was exhausted because my son would only sleep in my arms and I was just a new mother and didn't want to fall asleep while holding him because fear of dropping or smothering him. So the nurse suggested that I let him sleep in his car seat. I know this sounds crazy but I tried it. I would rock him to sleep wrapped up in a blanket and then when he was sleeping I would but him the carseat with the blanket still wrapped around him. Then I would carry him to the side of my bed and he slept like that! I am glad that he is finally sleeping in his own crib and all through the night but that worked for me for the first couple of months! Hope it helps and good luck! Trust me it gets better very soon, almost too soon :(
2006-10-13 07:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by amberroose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your being a great mom. I can relate an example my mom shared with me. When I was that age, they would put me in the bassinet next to my dad. Mom said he would rub my tummy until I went to sleep. She said that it got to the point that if he stopped, I would lay and grunt incessantly. She said that if someone would rub her tummy like that every night she'd grunt to for more. So he stopped and I went through a period of grunting and then learned to go to sleep on my own. It's hard for us to listen to them cry, but if you know that everything is OK, then it's not a bad thing. Just hard for you to be patient and not run pick her up every time. Another thought, do you put her to bed with the same routine each night and the same time, that can help tremendously. Maybe a little soft blanket next to her so she feels it close might be good as well. These things always pass but it's hard in the moment. Good luck to you!
2006-10-13 05:14:38 · answer #5 · answered by Night Wind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might help to know that around 6 weeks is the peek fussy time for babies. This is what my midwife told me. My daughter went through this phase at around the same age. I couldn't put her down. It doesn't mean that they 're colicy or anything like that, it's just something most babies go through. You'll be happy to know that it only lasts for a couple weeks. Could you put her in a snuggly or something and carry her around a little.? It won't hurt her to cry a little, but I always thought that they have a need that the need to be met. Hang in there, my daughter is the most easy going, happy baby I've ever seen!! God Bless
2006-10-13 05:24:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of the other answers, sometimes you have to let them cry. It is hard but it will work. As for the person who said to come back in the room and console the baby, this person clearly does not have kids. If you leave the room and continue to come back in repeatedly, you are teaching them to cry and scream until you come back. IT DOES NOT WORK, and it only makes you and the baby miserable. My husband slipped into that habit early with my daughter, by feeling bad and going in to hug her....it really made it worse. Now when he is home and he puts her down she will not go to sleep, I have to be the one to put her down, and she is fine. Good Luck, and you are not a bad mom.
2006-10-13 05:24:02 · answer #7 · answered by friend4u726 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad parent. People irritate me with saying you can spoil a baby if you hold them alot. Babies need to be spoiled and know they are loved. If they are not held enough and loved enough they will stop growing and developing at the rate they need to. Some babies just want momma and daddy more than others. My daughter was like that. What I did, and my cousin as well with her son, is I would wrap my daughter in a tshirt I had taken off that still had my scent on it, or her father's, and laid her down wrapped in that. She would smell me or daddy and stay asleep. It is a mind thing. But it allowed me to get things done that needed to while she was napping.
You are learning just like all mothers, parenting is trial and error. Good luck to you and I hope things work out for you.
2006-10-13 05:14:18 · answer #8 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
NO, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER. Try a couple of things, sounds to me like she likes the "comfort of mom or dad". Try putting her in her carrier and putting her on top of the dryer while it is running (sounds crazy, but it works), also try putting her in her car seat and taking her for a ride. Motion often has a lot to do with it. They now also have little "carriers or seats" that are battery operated and not only do they either rock or vibrate, but they play music - this is also very comforting to them. My great neice was the EXACT same way as your little one, and all three of these things ended up helping and mommy finally got some rest.
2006-10-13 05:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by missychele 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 3 children and this has happened with all of them. The way you get your child to sleep is to put them down in their crib, leave for a few minutes, come back and console her, hold her, whatever, and then leave again. This time come back after a little while longer and do the same thing. Mind you this may take a few hours before they go to sleep for the evening and overall a few days until this is mastered. Trust me this is quite hard to do but if you get them used to understanding they need to sleep when they are in their bed, they will always do it. Start them now because it will only bring you tons of grief later. Good luck.
2006-10-13 05:11:21 · answer #10 · answered by VR 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋