She's told me she had a wild period in her life, but she won't tell me anything past that. I don't know if the number is 25 or 100, I love her but not knowing this is a causing me a lot of pain.
2006-10-13 04:34:43 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is built on trust; if she's not comfortable telling you that kind of stuff, there will be issues in the future.
She doesn't have to go into detail, but if she's not proud of that phase of her life, it's her issue to deal with. Even if she was a porn star, you should support her and let her know that you do.
2006-10-13 04:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you think knowing this number will get you? I think you should put the whole thing out of your mind. I won't tell my number, because for me, that was a lifetime ago, and even if the number would sound high to him (and to me) it's a number without meaning for me because it was so long ago, and I am such a different person than I was then...maybe your fiancee feels the same way. If you know she slept with 35 guys, will you feel better than if it was 50, or 100. How about only 10? What number will not make you feel disgusted, will not make you treat her differently...so, let me ask, if you found out she was anorexic 10 years ago, would you still hound her about her troubled past? What is she had a drug problem, but hasn't touched them since, would you still be after her? You know her now, you love and trust her now, right? Move on from this and be happy you found someone you love. They don't just come around every corner, you know...
2006-10-13 11:54:55 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If *not* knowing it causes you pain, knowing it will cause you even more pain; it's a no-win situation. The "number" should stay private, no matter if it's 5 or 500. You sound insecure, and it is not HER problem, it's yours. I'm sure you've had your "wild" periods, too... Let the sleeping dogs lie, enjoy the present and look forward to the future. Re-hashing the past does more harm than good to everyone involved.
2006-10-13 11:55:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I just don't think it matters. What happened, happened and there's nothing you can do about it now. As long as there are no health issues involved then I'd let it go.
How will knowing this information make your relationship any different? If it were 100 guys would you still love her as much? Would it change your opinion about her? Maybe she fears that you would look down on her.
Let it go! Let those wild times stay where they belong...in the past!!!
2006-10-13 12:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by Georgia Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing is first....the most important thing to do is make sure that both of you are clean (health-wise). Now, its a general rule the women dont like to reveal her sexual past with her current lover. The reason why...because of the double standard in our society and men egos usually cannot take it. So in her way, she feels like she protecting you (and your manhood) and she doesnt want you to look at her differently. You may not or may judge her if she was truthful with you but you will always have that in the back of your head. She doesnt want you to use it against her in the future. For what it's worth, maybe her sexual experiences made her the woman she is today and she must be wonderful enough for you to consider to marry her. So keep that in mind!! How open are you with your sexual past? If she did tell you will you be HONESTLY able to handle it? Maybe that's the question, you really need to ask yourself before you continue to press the issue.
2006-10-13 12:06:20 · answer #5 · answered by teaspoon520 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would it help you if you learnt that she used to be a prostitute?
You love her for who she is 'now'...
You didn't know her in the past, so leave the past where it belongs !!!
Perhaps she is afraid that if she does tell you of her past, you will stop loving her, and no longer want to marry her.
Allow her to put her past behind her, and both of you ‘together’ work on building a new future as husband and wife. Perhaps one day, when she feels more comfortable in her relationship with you, she may eventually tell you of what she did before you both met.
Don’t push it though, or you may well lose her !!!
2006-10-13 11:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can trust her to be faithful to you and she has never given you a STD. Does it really matter how many men she has been with? Another thing is if you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question. A woman who has been with 100 guys is a Pro and would make a great Girl Friend but a terrible Wife.
2006-10-13 11:48:03 · answer #7 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit in her chair for awhile and let her ask the questions.
Her past is just that. HER past. Not yours and you have nothing to do with it. Keep on prying and you may become part of her past as well. You have no damn business getting married if something that is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS is going to be an issue. If this continues to be a major issue with you bud you have a major problem that at "present" needs to be addressed by none other than the person who has that problem....YOU
2006-10-13 11:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Bopelah 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past - leave it there!! There is much more pain and frustration when you guys talk about this situation. As long as you are both disease free - none of the past should matter. You guys are working on building a future together - not a past. So forget about who slept with who, and think about all the nights in your future you guys will sleep together.
2006-10-13 11:44:23 · answer #9 · answered by Stasi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez, guys like you p1ss me off! Why do you want to know? By wanting to know indicates that you are insecure besides being emotionally immature. If you find out she had sex with 100 men will you feel differently about her? If it does, you are with the wrong woman (or rather your gf is with the wrong guy!). You, my friend are getting ready to make a moral judgement on your gf and that is wrong. You say you love her...isn't that enough? Will you love her more or less if she tells you a number? If I were your gf I'd dump you sorry behind right now....Grow up! Real men don't ask (or care for that matter).
2006-10-13 12:35:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋