My husband cheated on me and I still love him and dont really want to end our marriage but I would like to think that he wont do it again. We Dont have any children together so if I was to decided to leave the only one that would be hurt is me. Should I give him a second chance or leave it alone. Will I ever get over what he did? I mean I know I will in time, this is just really difficult and I know can't no one make a deision for me, but I would just like to hear some experiences & hopfully good advice leaning toward working it out.
If you are a man that cheated on your wife before or a woman whose had her husband cheat please respond and tell me how you handled it.
Thanks you guys hope this was enough info for you to help me out.
2006-10-13 03:39:38 · 23 answers · asked by Survivor 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is the saying true? For the most part, but not always. There are exceptions, but they are few and far between.
Check out this discussion:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkvOF_pp7rbP1I7weKi6.LXsy6IX?qid=20061009123319AAlIKHY
I know it seems like a bad answer, but I didn't want to re-post my half page answer here. Plus there are answers from both sides of the fence there.
Good luck...
2006-10-13 03:48:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think, once a cheater, it will happen again if the circumstances don't change. Finding out why people cheat is really important - address the underlying needs and it won't happen again. Fail to do that, and you're just starting the cycle over. I've been a (male) cheater, and cheating is futile. You have everything at home that you could ever find with another partner -- it would be a much better use of your time (and mine) to try to fix things up honestly with your spouse rather than go looking for a flawed dream. Good luck to you and to your husband.
2016-03-18 08:49:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a guy cheat on me. I am no longer with him. I didn't know he cheated on me until I broke up with him. We couldn't get along. Anyway, I think once a cheater always a cheater. I think if a guy really loves you, he wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world. A guy that loves you, doesn't want to see you hurt, cry and etc... Even if he is really sorry and doesn't do it again, can you live with it? When he leaves the house everyday, can you stop yourself from wondering if he is going to go to another girl's house or meet up with another girl? Will this destroy you? Will you ever be able to trust him again? These are the things you should ask yourself and if your answer is no to the questions, then it's time to move on, but if you think you can forgive him and trust him again, then stay with him. If you want to try to save your marriage, then start going to a marriage counselor. Find out why he did it in the first place. If he did it because you two were fighting, or you wasn't paying enough attention or whatever. But to me, it doesn't matter what the reason was. There is no good excuse cheating on your spouse. Them saying "I cheated because she/he stopped having sex with me, or I cheated because she/he wouldn't stop arguing with me." No matter what is going on in your life, doesn't give them a right to go sleep with whoever. I think if they have a problem, they should try to talk it over with you. Communication and trust is everything. Without that, your marriage is nothing. If he was feeling abandoned or lonely, he should have came to you and told you how he felt. Then you two could have sat down and have a conversation about what's on your mind and his. Then try to work the problem out. Anyway, I hope I have been some help. Good luck
2006-10-13 03:59:53 · answer #3 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's sort of like pulling a band aid off. Sure it is going to hurt you but in the long run you will start to fell better. Nope I'm not married. But I was in a long term relationship where I was cheated on. The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" fit the gal perfectly. She ended up marrying the guy. years later she ended up cheating on him. It has happened to a few of my friends always with the same results.
I suggest cutting your losses and moving on. Don't give the guy a second chance.
2006-10-13 03:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by acidcrap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience, yes. The first guy I was ever with...well, I caught him cheating only 1 month after we got together. I know, I should've dropped him then, but I just thought he'd change. WRONG! I caught him cheating several times after that....
Right after we broke up, I got a phone call from his mom (I know...wierd!) telling me that he was going to be a father soon. With 2 different people. Needless to say, not only did we not have sex 70% of the time we were together, he ended up with 5 kids by 3 different people.
If your husband has cheated on you, I'm sorry, but he will do it again. I don't know why guys are like that, but I'd pay $1,000,000 to know the real reason why. As for you ever getting over it, no. I never did. You may forgive him for it, but you will never forget it. I suggest you try talking to your husband about this. And if he gives you any reason to believe that he will do it again, or that he is doing it again, ask him to explain to you the importance of your relationship to you. If you think it's worth it, try marriage counseling. If you two are truly meant to be together, things will pan out and everything will be okay. A few signs that you're not you have stated on here. 1 - he cheated on you. 2 - You had to ask this question.
Well sweetie, I hope this helped. I know nothing but time will heal a broken heart...but perhaps you can use this for future reference. Good luck and keep your head up.
2006-10-13 03:52:12 · answer #5 · answered by Momma Jette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my ex for other reasons and didn't know about his cheating until well into the divorce process. It's amazing how much you find out when people think they're "safe" to tell you things. I found out my ex had been cheating since well before we were even married!
We've been divorced well over 5 years now but his sister and I still have a good relationship. He's on wife number 4 (I was #2 and didn't even know he'd been married before!). Wife #3 caught him cheating so divorced him and his sister says she knows of three girls he's sleeping with currenlty while married to #4!
Personally, I'd leave while it's just you. Very, very few people change. It took me a long time to trust people in general (let's not even talk about men!) after I found out about my ex. I could never have trusted him again, that's for sure!
2006-10-13 04:13:38 · answer #6 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before anything, find out why he cheated...what reason did he give you? Was it lame or did it make some wierd sort of sense?
Anyway, I cheated on my first wife occasionally (married 9 years) but I have been completely faithful to the second wife (married 24 years and could not be happier). So, once a cheater is not always a cheater.
I cheated on the first wife first because I deserved some decent sex now and then, and second because she was a frigid, self-centered, neurotic, soul-eating demon ***** from hell. I can't believe I stayed with her so long.....
2006-10-13 04:20:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really depends, is he emotionally involved with this other woman? If so chances are he will run to her again if he cares for her. If not and it was just a "mistake" he may see the pain it caused you never do it again. You should both seek help from a proffessional to help you get over the pain and restore your trust with him. I will say if you decided to forgive and work it out you have to be willing to let it go. If your throwing the affair in his face and checking up on him he may feel he has no shot at the marriage and just give up or worse it may push him away and into anothers arms. Good luck!!!
2006-10-13 03:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can give him other chance and the is not really true i say that because my husband cheated on me and you will always wonder and people say have trust i do but i still have hurt that wont go all the away you think about it some times and wonder if you did something because you don't know what made him do it so that will stay in your head but me and my husband work it out and so can you guys it will be hard but you can get through it just be live he wont do it again and trust yourself as a woman that you give as much as he can deal with and everything will be alright Good luck
2006-10-13 03:46:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man with experience, I would say once he has cheated he is more likely to do it again. You could have a great relationship and be comfortable together but if the circumstances were right he would probably wander. He can resist everything but temptation! It is possible to have a loving relationship with him even through he is not trustworthy but most people want more from their mate. The lying and betrayal erode your trust in him and trust is very hard to restore to its original form. If you love him and he treats you right and you can accept this, then stay with him. If not, start over as there are plenty of men who are solid marriage partners. Good luck.
2006-10-13 03:48:36 · answer #10 · answered by azjimhowe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋