When I met my husband he was 6'4 and 195lbs that was 20 years ago , he is now 300lbs due too overeating?

Question

and lack of exercise.I have tried buying helathy foods,of just cutting down on the portions of foods he's eating ,he refuses to do it 'because he just love food too much".I have tried everything talking to him, buying the healthy food and fixing smaller portions and he just does not seem to care (he says he's not depress) I'm starting to feel extremly resentful towards him for letting himself go and expecting me to accept it just because we're married,for some reason he thinks once your married you have to take whatever your partner dishes out.I'am starting to feel extremely resentful towards him. what can I do to stop this now,Before I jump off the fence.( if it was do to illness i would be ok But this is controlable)

Answer 1

I can understand your issues at hand. While married to my ex he weighed 275 at first and ballooned to over 435 lbs. I tried everything to help him loose weight and be healthy again...hell I even went on a diet and lost 60 lbs. to help motivate him. This still didn't work and nothing I tried would prompt him to try. He is only in his mid 30's and has been warned by doctors of pending health problems he is going to face in the next 3-5 yrs. if he does nothing.

I tried the approach of even saying.."Don't you want to see your daughter graduate high school and walk her down the aisle." Not even those words put the fear in him. We had no sex life...how could you...and this lead to one of the many things that ended our marriage. You can't force someone to loose the weight if they are not willing. Try to get him to take walks with you at night, join a gym together and use that as quality time. You can only make suggestions and maybe he will come around.

Good luck to you...you are in a tough uphill battle that is not an easy one.

Answer 2

This is very complex but at the same time, it's also not uncommon in a marriage. People tend to put on weight over time because metabolism drops as you age. Are you more concerned with his weight being a health issue (diabetes, high blood pressure etc.) or are you just not attracted to him at 300 lbs? Could he be refusing to loose the weight simply because he thinks you're pushing him too hard?? Bottom line, the resentment will eat away at your marriage and you either have to do something about it with counseling or some other route, or end the marriage before infidelity has a chance to set in and believe me....it will set in. Find a time when both of you are calm and talk about it. More than likely, he feels like you're nagging him about it and the more you "nag" as they call it, the more he's going to dig his heels in and eat what he damn well pleases.

As a person that finds comfort in food, I know how he feels. I've been able to aknowledge my problem and make lifestyle adjustments so that I am not overweight. It's very simple...balanced diet and regular exercise.

Good luck with it!

Answer 3

Dont be resentful towards him. did you not get married for better or worse. (remember those vows) I think we should add through thick and thin. too. Yes i agree you want him to be healthy but he is still the same man you married. Nagging him is not going to help. Its like a smoker IT IS an illness. Over eating or eating as a comfort is an illness TOO! I think you need to look beyond his plate for your answers. I have been married 32 years and my husband is thin. I have gained since we have married and have 4 children. He has never said one bad word about my weight. He is there for me. He just quit smoking after smoking for over 40 years. I did not nag him about it. He used laser treatment. I plan on trying that too for the weight too. With his support but not because he nagged me too. He has to be the one to make the choice to lose weight for him not just you. Be more supportive instead of negative. I wish you luck

Answer 4

I think you've answered your own question..... He is likely depressed (an illness!) and is using food as comfort for something. You have acknowledged that you're resentful towards him. Y'all should find a good counselor(s) and see them individually and collectively to overcome whatever the root causes are.

Answer 5

i say to each his own...i was 140 when i married my husband and a child and three years later i am 210 and he still looks at me with the same loveable eyes he had the frist day we met. he said that he loves the extra cushion feels good when he is pushin.

Answer 6

You're completely justified for feeling resentful, you're worried about his health, & to put it quite bluntly your sexual relationship is likely suffering too. I don't envy your position, make sure you confront him before you end up too depressed to help even yourself.

Good Luck dear!

Answer 7

tell him that he needs to do something about his weight, its unhealthy and ur not attracted to him any more. Try getting a personal trainer for him too. This can be ruin your marriage so do something about it quick.

Good luck!

Answer 8

When you're married you're supposed to grow old together, but it seems like you're growing old apart. It also seems like he is no longer the same man you married.

Answer 9

I think you better let your husband take some fat burner pills like Hot-Rox...It's really effective, he will lose his appetite and he will be more energetic...Hot-Rox doesn't have any side-effects and it is 100% safe unlike other fat burner's....I had used this product before and its really effective....

Answer 10

let it affect your sex life. tell him that the extra weight is a turn off. it is, right? then see what happens. you are right to expect him to want to look good for you. you married a good looking man who cared, right. doesn't he expect you to care how you look for him?