My hubby has had affairs several times and most of them lasted for over 9 months but he said that he never had sex with them. Should I believe him?
2006-10-13 03:18:24 · 32 answers · asked by JUSEve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-13 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by haki 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I very much doubt it. Even if there was no physical contact at all there's little doubt that sexual contact with the other person would have been on his mind at the very least!
No I don't think you should believe your husband....come on girl lets face it, men as well as woman who are having or have had an affair and then maybe get caught, by whatever means, will usually try and minimise and trivialise the extent of the affair and the depth of their feelings for the other person, more so to help save their own skin and to try and minimise the hurt they are causing their partner.
That's probably why he's saying he's never had sex with them. Why go to the bother of having an affair with someone if sex or falling in love for the other person doesn't enter into the equation?
Don't be so naive and gullible to this kind of situation...people if they can, will deny, deny, deny; or try to minimalize and trivialise their actual involvement with another person, to their partner if they can get away with it...especially if they are still wanting to remain in the matrimonial home.
Best to go with your own gut feelings on this!
2006-10-14 00:12:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your head a shake how the hell can you have an affair without sex.Sex is why people have affairs hes hardly likely to tell you he had sex,my now ex husband had loads of affairs and he would tell me he may have had sex with them just once or twice BULL this is the real world and men are men,he will tell you what you want to hear.
2006-10-13 03:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
An emotional affair is still a betrayal, whether physical contact happened or not. The fact is, your husband is whispering sweet nothings into someone text/email/phone means he's not whispering them to you. He's telling someone else his most intimate thoughts, dreams and desires. Thats the closeness and companionship that lovers have, the actual act of sex is immaterial here, its the fact he's being intimate on a very emotional and psychological level with someone else that would worry me. These are things he should be talking about with you.
I would suggest talking to him and suggesting a few sessions with RELATE or whatever marriage guidance you have locally.
Hope that helps a litte, and I hope you work through to whatever solution is good for you both. Good luck.
2006-10-13 03:40:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An emotional affair? For f**ks sake. He has likely been trying to get in some woman's knickers but was rejected. He is saying he did not have sex to make you think it is not really cheating and to make him look like he restrained himself rather than admit he wanted to cheat but didn't get the goods. The main thing you should focus on is this...why does he want to keep hurting you this way and why do you let him?
2006-10-17 03:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by Valli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think its absoltely possible, in my first marriage I was very close to a friend, sex wasnt the thing lacking from my first marriage, friendship, encouragement, partnership, and closeness were. Believe it or not some men crave a deep emotional bond in their life. Wheteher or not your husband is lying I cant answer. If he is having a series of emotional affairs you two should get to some counseling. Something is missing from the relationship
2006-10-13 03:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, men usually don't see a close friendship as an emotional affair. If there was no sex involved, he probably would just say they were "friends", he most likely had sex with them. How many men do you know that invest time/energy/money in a woman they are not having sex with or trying to have sex with?
2006-10-13 03:21:12 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, men have affairs for the physical sex woman for emotional need. Irregardless you two need to get counseling and find out why he is having any affair at all
2006-10-13 03:26:35 · answer #8 · answered by fortyninertu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure he could have done that in a non-sexual way, but we don't commonly call those affairs. History accounts such chivalrous affairs in the middle ages, intense love but sex was a completely different thing. It is uncommon, but the trust issue depends on how you see him, how you know him. Can't help you there.
2006-10-13 03:25:27 · answer #9 · answered by Rabbit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no way. hard to believe no sex was involved!
If he has had several affairs lasting 9 months+ Why are you still with him?
One affair, one chance I can understand but this guy is a serial cheater, it does not matter whether sex was involved or not, why is doing this to you anyway?
2006-10-13 03:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by Welshchick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that anyone is capable of having "emotional"affairs. But, I don't know if ALL of your hubby's were just that...emotional. Go to counseling together. There are obviously things that need to be worked on.
2006-10-13 03:20:56 · answer #11 · answered by Princess T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋