I'm pregnant and the father of my unborn baby doesn't want anything to do with it. He says he is not ready for a baby. I just wish there were still some good men out there. This is going to be so hard taking care of my baby on my own. I know I messed up,..but I guess that is what I get for listening to his lies. I'll be 20 next month and I live on my own and I work in a law firm,..I don't know how I will have anyone to help take care of my baby......This is so overwhelming....any advice will help.
2006-10-13 03:11:33 · 16 answers · asked by Killian's Mommy 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He not ready for a baby but he didn't have no problem sleeping with you. Why men think they have a choice and the woman don't, the baby is just as much theirs as it is ours. We were just the ones chosen to carry it. But, we have to be careful who we trust our bodies and not trust anyone until marriage. You can't go back and change what has already happened though. You'll be fine though. You'll see things will work itself out when the baby gets hard. Yes, it will be hard but you gotta do what you gotta do.
2006-10-13 03:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You work for a law firm, get a lawyer's help. When that baby is born child support will help pay for day care or a baby sitter.
Just wondering why you weren't on birth control or why you didn't use a condom? 20 is old enough to know better or did you do this to entrap the boyfriend?
When a girl does this, takes the risk of getting pregant, you have to wonder what she was thinking at the time. And the only thing I can think is either they were like I was and wanted a baby, or they are thinking this is a way to keep their man around. That is the wrong thought, there is nothing that will make most men run faster than ah oh I am pregnant.
2006-10-13 10:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 18 when I had my daughter and have raised her alone. If you have the option of moving back to your parent's house temporarily, you should do it. The first few months will be overwhelming on your own and just to have someone around sometimes just to simply take a shower is nice. If you can't move back to a parent's home for a little while, be open to company to come by and just be there. As far as the childcare goes, there are government programs just for that. As long as you take the baby to a licensed childcare, the government program pays a certain percentage. Each state is different, but it is worth looking into. I was able to keep working full time, provide medical insurance for me and my daughter through my employer, live on my own and to this day, we are very very happy. My daughter is now 11 years old and I couldn't ask for a better life. We are by no means rich, I am single (more by choice), but we are extremely happy. I did all the worrying that I am sure you are doing right now, but I just want to reassure you that as long as you stay focused, everything is going to be just fine. I have to admit, I have actually enjoyed raising my daughter on my own. There is no mellow drama about where she'll be on which holiday or any of the other battles that 2 people that love the same child have. Make sure you don't short yourself on the child support. The father does not have to be there at the birth to have to at least be financially responsible. Make sure you go to your County Courthouse Friend of the Court and do the proper filings to make sure he is ordered to pay child support. DO NOT LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE and don't trust any agreement that he may try to make with you. At times I am saddened that my daughter has not had a father in her life, but I know that one day, or perhaps he is now, regretting doing what he did. Don't let yourself be the one feeling down about the situation. Just love that baby and raise him or her to be the best person they can possibly be. You will be just fine.
2006-10-13 10:32:34 · answer #3 · answered by Megan B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'd offer my support, but it's strange and nearly impossible to do so. Working in a law firm you have the resorces availible to you to be able to get the father to at least help with child support. Do your best to find support groups for young mothers. Also start looking early for childcare, and WIC if nessicary. The less you have to stress about when the baby actually comes, the easier it's going to be for you. I wish you all the best!
2006-10-13 10:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa, That's me! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont worry hun, better have that creep away. Maybe God has someone else for you,and things happen for a reason. I know you are overwhelmed but youare gonna be able to do somuch beyond you can even imagine for your baby. You sound like a very independent woman, keep working and sue the bastard for child support if you need help financially. If you dont I would just leave things like that,that way i'll keep him away from me and my baby. Good luck honey.
2006-10-13 10:21:25 · answer #5 · answered by Baby Ruth habla español 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, I want to say you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and good job for not aborting your child. Things will be fine, you have a job, and your own apartment. You need to get support from the father of your child. You can do this at your Social Service office. they may be able to provide with wic, too. which will help with formula and baby food etc.... they also may be able to help with daycare cost. look into all of this before baby is born. Keep your job and good luck to you.
2006-10-13 10:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by jeanjean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the loser go!!!! YOu don't want your baby looking up to someone like this do you?! You are in the best situation now because you get to have all those special memories to your self and you don't have to share them with him. He doesn't deserve to have anything to do with YOUR baby, other than to send you his fair share fo financial support. Just remember that the baby is YOURS not his he has done gave up his chance since he says, "He is not ready for a baby!"! You will be a wonderful mother and you can do it stay positive for the baby sake.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-13 10:23:39 · answer #7 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl I'm also 20 and I'm doing it on my own. Just wanna tell you one thing: You should feel lucky that he backed out now, because its way easier than later. My husband was with me until my son was alittle over a year and my son grew so attached to him, and was completely in love with his daddr. Then all of a sudden his dad decided he shouldnt work and got all into drugs and started getting violent and its the hardest thing in the world when my baby cries about wanting his dad.
So this way your child will never need to know his dad. Honestly that is the only difficult thing about raising the kid on your own. You wont have to worry about you baby's heart breaking because he'll never need to know his scumbag dad!
Congradulations and I'm sure youll have lots of fun with your new baby! :)
2006-10-13 10:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by ebaskys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Hun, YOU WILL BE JUST FINE:) It can seem overwhelming, but it's really not has hard as it appears. Don't get me wrong- it's hard work, but the benefits will out weigh everything. Sounds like you have a good job, with good benefits. You'll get through it. Make sure you have support somewhere- be it a girlfriend, a mom, dad, aunt, whatever. You'll make it- I promise.
2006-10-13 10:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by Dolphin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive known women who had babies and raise them alone and did just fine, Ive also known quite a few who ended up with spectacular husbands in long run who not only cared for them, but adopted their baby and raised it like their own.
Thers good men out there, you'rejust looking in the wrong places.
2006-10-13 10:13:59 · answer #10 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋