Do I tell him we need to stop before we have sex and things get out of control. Even though my husband cheated on me and has a love child from it, should I continue have my fun with this married man?
2006-10-13 02:41:22 · 19 answers · asked by Airforcepink 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It is very easy to get involved with someone you work with because you spend more time with co-workers than with family. You have probably been talking to him about your problems at home because he is uninvolved and can look at it from a different prospective. This is fine until you start looking at him with special feelings.
Think back to when you were dating your husband. Did you have special feelings towards him because of his insight into your problems then? Was he "there" for you when you were upset and confused? Did he comfort you when you were down and out? Is this the reason you married him in the first place?
Marriage is not easy, eventhough most people think so. Love alone, will not get you through the every day problems of life. It takes a lot of listening, understanding, open-mindedness and compromise to make it work.
It sounds like you have turned to someone you trust and have faith in to help you get through the rough spots in your marriage. This is NOT true love and if you let it go any further, you will eventually regret it. If the guy at work is willing to go to the next step, he has probably done this before and will do it again. He has no respect for his own marriage and wants you to be on the same level as he is. He doesn't really love you, just the idea of proving he can get you into bed.
This would also put you on the same level as your husband. Cheating because your spouse did just makes it worse. It means you are no better than he is. You have, apparently, dealt with him having a child by another woman without getting divorced. You must have wanted to save your marriage or you would already be gone. Don't take a chance of your husband, or someone at work finding out you are involved with a married co-worker. It could get really messy with one, or both of you, loosing your job and spouses. Believe me, it's not worth the risk. If you are really unhappy with your marriage, go to a counselor or talk to your family or clergy. Give it a chance and if it doesn't work, get a divorce. Start dating, single men, and start over.
Good luck!
2006-10-13 03:27:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband cheated on you and had a child from it, you should have left him a long time ago. That is just wrong, and people rarely change. Especially when you have shown you will put up with it. But two wrongs DO NOT make a right. Your cheating on him will not make you feel better about the situation, and is not right. And what about the guy's wife? What did she do? I say do what you should have done long ago. Break it off with your husband and then you are free to do what you want with no guilt. Cheating is never right, no matter if it is for revenge or not. And do not degrade yourself by sleeping with married men. They will not leave their wives for you, and even if they do how can you trust them not to cheat on you. They have already proved to be a cheater. There are plenty of decent men out there you can be with who are not scum and cheating on their wives with you. Do it right, and have no regrets in the future. Good luck
2006-10-13 02:46:47 · answer #2 · answered by Craig B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs dont make a right. Remember how hurt and devastated you were when your husband did this to you. Yes you need to stop. If you are considering have sex with this man then you need to think if you are ready for divorce. Just because you forgave your husband does not mean he will forgive you. Remember why you married your husband. Think about how you felt and how you would be making this other mans wife feel if you sleep with her husband. You would be no better than the women your husband slept with. I dont think you would want to cause another women the hurt you had to go through.
2006-10-13 02:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not if you value the relationship with your husband. Just because your husband cheated on you doesn't mean you should do the same. Two wrongs don't make a right. Besides, why would you bring yourself down to that level? You know it's not right, and you are the one who decided to forgive and stay with him. You didn't do this so you can go do the same thing he did. You stayed with him as an act of love and commitment. I personally think you are asking for trouble with this fellow from work. I don't think anything good can come from it.
2006-10-13 02:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you still haven't made peace with what your husband did to you. And even thinking about an affair means your marriage isn't solid. Don't you think you deserve it to yourself to be fair? Drop the guy at work. You already have so much going on emotionally, and you should know married men are bad news. Then work on your feelings about your husband. If you cannot make peace with what he did and he isn't trying to make the marriage work, then decide seperation or divorce. But please don't have an affair to hurt him. Its not worth it. And you deserve a guy that you don't have to share with his wife. Please get your emotions figured out. Trying to hurt him will only end up in hurting you too. And if you are no longer together, you can date any single guy out there. It won't be an affair, and you just might be happier.
2006-10-13 02:48:43 · answer #5 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what happened between you and your husband has nothing to do with what's going on with you and another woman's husband.You do remember how you felt when your man cheated so why would you inflict that pain on another woman who probably loves this no good man.If you make good choices you will always be able to hold your head up and feel proud of yourself.if you cheat ,then you are just as low as your husband and the woman he cheated with.Leave your marriage if you want,but don't go to another woman's man.you'll never find happiness that way and if it's just sex and we know it is,leave your man and find a single guy to have sex with,you can wait.
2006-10-13 02:52:34 · answer #6 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs don't make a right. Think about integrity. That's one of the long forgotten values in this great country of ours. Reminder:Integrity is doing the right thing eventhough no one is watching us. Want to do some other person, get out of the one you are in now then, by all means, move on.
2006-10-13 02:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jayme C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was a divorce lawyer I would be rubbing my hands and saying "Wow, there are another two pairs of clients for me."
You know that keeping that "talk" going will be the end of your marriage - so is this a way of spiting your husband for his cheating? If not you should go find a different way to have "fun."
2006-10-13 02:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on what u feel... if ur husband cheated on you and has a love child ..damn.. i dont even know why u r with him in the first place.. well it all depends on how u see it to be.. how he feels for you and his current wife.. and u how u feel abt ur husband.. if all 4 of u r cheating.. wlel then have an orgy.. i dont care... lol.. but make sure u dont hurt anyone while u r at it.. cuz thats worst than felling guily about a lil bit of sex on the side..
2006-10-13 02:44:38 · answer #9 · answered by vikram m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. First of all, you should have left your husband, a child is hard to accept especially when it is not you and your husbands'. Leave the married man alone, married men pierod.
2006-10-13 02:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by Love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋