i haven't been physically violent, or abused her in anyway, although i have dropped behind on my maintenance by quite a high amount due to not having a proper job for 6 months. I have one now, and am paying her off, but because she has just got married, she is broke and demanded it all, when that wasn't the agreement. Not my fault she got married, or that she spent my kids money on her wedding..what happens next?
2006-10-13 02:24:10 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends on where you are as to how you stand within the law.
In the UK, unless you were married to the mother, you have no legal responsibility for the child unless you apply through the courts for Legal Responsibility. You shouldn't have any problems provided there is no history of violence or neglect....
My advice would be to go see a solicitor, apply for legal responsibility if you don't have it, and if you are paying your maintainence to your ex directly, stop it off now and approach the relevant governtment body (CSA in the UK).
Unfortunately it is only too common an occurance for mothers to spend maintainence on themselves and not the child. I believe all maintainence should be either put in trust for the child or be delivered in vouchers for clothes etc.
I really sympathise and my thoughts are with you.
2006-10-13 02:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by KJA 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you have visitation order, non payment of child support does not allow denial of those rights. Keep a journal of her behavior.
Maybe in a few years she will do something stupid enough to allow your lawyer to get custody for YOU. If she talks badly of you in front of kids... write down and date it. If she withholds visitation... call the police. Save this stuff... take her to court.
Dont let her intimidate you. You have rights and the money is a separate issue.
Did she live with this guy before she married him?
THATS when you should have sued for custody.
Custodial parents are not to speak ill of non custodial parents. You cant go see your dad because he wont pay me BLAH BLAH BLAH is not only wrong morally, but LEGALLY she is not to do that, nor you of her. Be polite, get the kids when you are supposed to... make a police report if she refuses you visitations... dont be a door mat.
She CAN do that... as she has done it.. but morally and legally can she... NO. IF you have the documet and she refused you visitation... go NOW and file a police report. NEXT t ime it is visitation day and she says BLAH BLAH... call cops right then and there... make sure they put in th edocument that she was yelling and screaming about you not paying her on time IN FRONT OF THE KID etc.... enough of that goes on and eventually YOU will have custody and SHE will be paying YOU.
Good luck
2006-10-13 02:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a story all too familiar. Sorry to say even with court orders and judgements women of this type flaunt the law and often nothing is done about it, but you do need to get some legal help. Money rears it's ugly head of course and it seems you have been a bit short of late, don't let it deter you.Now your ex has remarried she probably feels she is untouchable, but of course in the end it would be your son who suffers the loss of his dad. She is using your son as a weapon.Pay the Maintenance & don't give up.
2006-10-13 03:23:46 · answer #3 · answered by Pattythepunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No she cant keep you from seeing your son. However, she can make it very difficult. If you are behind, you need to continue to make payments as required plus some toward the past due amount. Always, ALWAYS pay with check or money order, something you keep a copy of. I cant count the number to times I have seen people have to pay twice for support already paid. If need be get a lawyer in your area - preferably one who has experience in this field as it can be a pain for you and the attorney involved
2006-10-13 02:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by salter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under state law, even if you hae never paid child support, you should be allowed to see them, unless you have issues about violence or threats to either the mother or child.
You need to stop putting the money in her hand and work through the system so that you can get your arears caught up and they can punish her for violating your visitation.
Some women get married and move to another state just to keep the father from seeing their child. Take the time to go to family court and have all of that done legally.
2006-10-13 02:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay you say you havent been, vilent, or any of the other, bad stuff here. okay. okay you say you got behind in your suport payments, because of what layof from previous job or what?? i can see why you strugled for six months wow!! and you are paying her back sklowly it sounds like--- and thats her problemm if shes broke, not yours you arent married too her anyomore---shes suppose too be speniding money on the kids welfare-- not some- weeding!! at least a porttion of it did the kid even see a gum wrapper out of this hjalf baked mess?? and demanding it alll after you just landed another paying job and you are trying and dumps it on a expensive wee ding?? i woul;d seriously drag her too court and show that you were out of work for 6 long months are working againnn-- and trying----too pay off this excuse you werre maried too shes playing you-- and good-- at least your trying--- cant say much about-- what you were maried too--
2006-10-13 02:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and see a family solicitor, she can not really refuse you access the only person she is hurting is the child. Make this your first priority, otherwise only pay her maintenance when she agrees to let you see your son that way you both get what you want.
2006-10-13 02:30:35 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first count yourself lucky that she didn't have you put in jail. she can do that, if you're in the us. it doesn't matter if or not you have a job, you are supposed to pay that support. secondly, what is the custody arrangement you have? you can call the judge or have your lawyer do it. if you are entitled to visitation by the custody papers, she's violating the law as set forth in a courtroom and she is not within her rights. if you are currently attempting to make restitution with her for those months you missed, be sure to mention that.
have you spoken to her about this? i would do htat before anything else. it shows the judge that you are trying to work things out wiht her. that's important. good luck.
2006-10-13 02:32:22 · answer #8 · answered by kajunprincezz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and seek legal advice, depending on where you live depends on what rights you have. But you do have some. Her being skint due to her being married has nothing to do with you, you give the money across to help take care of your children not to finance her new life. Ever thought about joint/full custody of your children?
2006-10-13 02:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont this is fair you are the childs dad you should be able to see the child, this women sounds like a b***h to me i am seperating from my husband and i would never stop my children seeing their dad they are not pawns just cause you two have split up seek help honey but dont stop paying for your son. As when he is older he will find out and may resent you. Kids have ways dont they. Write your son a letter every time your ex refuses to let you see your children then when your children are older they will be able to come to their own conclusions honey. Hope it all works out for you and your children
2006-10-13 02:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by jules 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋