i have this 4 day old beautiful boy named jordan blake and i have 4 other kids...anyway i am wondering if i am doing this right: the baby is held by my husband he soesnt smeel bad or overscented, he isn't squeezing the baby or anything bad when the baby is with him it crys all the time so i take the baby from him allt he time but the baby is fine with other people but not my husband even my friends wonder what is wrong but am i right for taking the baby from him and not letting him carry jordan anymore?
2006-10-13 01:42:29 · 15 answers · asked by 5kidsdad 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
sorry there guys my wife asked a question in the wrong account but anyway i would also like you to answer this question
2006-10-13 02:07:43 · update #1
im not tense in holding the baby
2006-10-13 23:32:35 · update #2
Hello I woundnt stop him from taking the baby. Some babies are fussy at times. Maybe there are certain things that mom does like a certain way she rocks baby, how she holds baby, is she moving around or is she still. As a mother of 4 I know it can be trying but keep at it the baby will be fine. Remember this world is new to your little one he is trying to adjust the best he can. But no dont take the baby from dad unless the crying is really bad. Dad try to rock baby, sing to baby, walk baby around, remeber wrap your little one up in a recieving blanket it makes them feel more secure. My youngest now 3 months still needs to be wrapped to sleep at night. Well I hope I have helped in some way. Hang in there things will start to look up. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-13 02:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by four2love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies tend to cry like that when the person that holds them is uncomfortable. And if your husband is a little nervous and tense (which happens to men when the baby is really small and seems fragile to them), then the baby can since it.
You are wrong in taking the baby from him because this is daddy. And for daddy to get comfortable practice makes perfect. If it makes you nervous then you can observe and watch. If you are breast feeding it would also help if you pumped some milk and let daddy feed the baby because daddy needs bonding time as well.
When the baby gets a little bigger daddy will get more comfortable and everything will settle down, but in the mean time remember your husband is going to be in the house at night when you get frustrated and need a break and if you don't let him get some practice in and get comfortable then he is not going to be any help when it comes to calming the baby.
Hope that helps
2006-10-13 10:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there;
Congrats on your new baby boy! What a joy!
As for taking your son away from dad when dad holds him, that I would not do at all. They will not get a chance to bond if that keeps happening.
Rather than take the baby away, I would try to find out why he cries when dad holds him.
Have your hubby sit quietly with subdued lights in a quiet room.
Then place your new bundle of joy in your hubby's lap. Not have him hold the baby but simply allow the child to lay in his dads lap.
I would start this when your new arrival is asleep.
Also while you are feeding, changing, washing, or interacting with your new son, have his dad there talking, reading a story, and touching the boy. Make the association of Dad with all things that are good, (eating, soft gentle voices, moms voice is good, dads voice is good, and getting all warm and clean).
Never rush anything where dad is concerned. Dad should be a source of pleasure not ill-ease.
PS. Your son can pick up on your nervousness when dad is holding him and this will add to the baby's distress as he does not know why you are upset. Your ill-ease at your hubby holding your baby will only make matters worse.
Solve this minor issue and all will be well again in your home.
Good luck! :)
2006-10-13 09:00:51 · answer #3 · answered by snowelprd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage your husband to hold him as often as possible. At this point it is important to support your husband in his efforts. He needs to bond with the baby too and a good father is so important to boys even when they're newborns. A friend of mine's baby would scream when the aunt held him! After dealing with this for several weeks the aunt came over took a shower with the Mom's shampoo, soaps, etc and put on freshly laundered clothes. These were clothes laundered in the Mom's detergent. The baby went right to the Aunt. It was not a question of smelling bad, just smelling different! Try sitting next to Dad on the sofa while you hold him too. Then the baby can start to get comfortable with close proximity and eventually get used to it.
Take heart! Sensitive children often turn out to have high I.Q.'s!
2006-10-13 08:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Babies don't have advanced communication skills like toddlers and kids. So, they have to go by instinct. Probably your husband is stressed, uncomfortable, or tense for some reason while holding the baby, and the baby is instinctually picking up on it and reacting to it. And of course if the baby is crying it will make your husband more stressed and tense...making the baby cry more. Maybe if he concentrates really hard on relaxing while holding the baby it would respond favorably to your husband. I watched the same exact thing happen time and again with my husband and my first baby. Once we were in a store and she was perfectly happy. I got a phone call and my husband thought I had stopped looking for what I was shopping for and just standing around wasting time. As he got tense about me being on the phone she started to cry. She had no tones of voice to go by because he was just silently pacing...all she had was instinct. As soon as I got off of the phone and he stopped being tense, she stopped crying.
2006-10-13 09:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by JordanB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you're not right.. the reason the baby cries is because he thinks that Daddy can't care for him.. and it's because you keep taking him away. The baby needs a chance to learn to trust his father.. and that's not going to happen if you take him when he starts to cry.. all you're telling the baby is that " Hey, when you cry, daddy can't handle you and I can" Allow the daddy to hold the baby, even when he cries, tell daddy what to try to do in order to make him stop crying.. let the dad have a good old fashioned try.. and don't be too quick to take the baby back...
2006-10-13 09:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by Imani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Babies tend to pick up on parents feelings if your husband is nervous about holding your baby he may snese that and it may make the baby nervous. It could be your husbands voice scares the baby. I know with my baby if my husband kisses her she will scream because his mustache bothers her so it could be something like that but i would tell ur husband not to take it personal and let him hold the baby even if he screams so he can get used to him i mean after all that is the babys daddy so he will need to bond with him
maybe your husband could hold the baby differently maybe enve try walking with him. hope this helps some
2006-10-13 08:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by aunt_melmo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, Dad don't take this personally.
Secondly, by now, Dad is very tense about this by now and babies sense this.
I would have mommy hold the baby while Daddy talks to him. Also, have mommy hold the baby with a shirt of Daddy's so he can get used to his scent.
No matter what.....NEVER NEVER NEVER get frustrated and shake the baby.
This will get better in time.
2006-10-13 10:17:10 · answer #8 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah don't take the baby back. Allow the baby to get used to dad. He may not act like he is offended but he may be. good luck and congrats on the new baby.
2006-10-13 08:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
may be its the way he holds the baby, ask him to hold the baby close and cuddle. use soothing tones. keep practicing this for few mins everyday. they shud be together not seperated after all he is the baby's father. slowly your newborn may get used to him or else you can give one of your used shirts to your husband to wear or just wrap around him, when he carries the baby. babies respond to mom's smell so it may makes things easier
2006-10-13 08:47:28 · answer #10 · answered by cancycrab 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋