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My boyfriend and I have been living together now for over a year, we just bought a house and two puppies. Now the school year has started so he's teaching again full time and coaching the high school hockey team, and playing ice hockey and indoor hockey. Long story short, he's NEVER home. And when he is home, he's exhausted and just wants to watch TV of play hockey on his nintendo-thingy. Lately I feel more like a live-in maid then a romantic partener and I'm seriously considering if our life styles are compatible. Should I stay, or should I go?

2006-10-13 01:27:57 · 15 answers · asked by Amy227 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I do not sit on my *** all day, I'm a full time university student in my 4th year

2006-10-13 01:36:37 · update #1

15 answers

you need totalk to him and explain how you are feeling. Suggest setting a time together for just you and him, nothing else, like maybe sunday mornings you go out to breakfast or you just hang out inbed...he may notlike that he is so busy either but does he know how to say no to people? Can you blame him for being exhusted he has a lot on his plate> What are you doing with your time? Why don't you try and stay busy so that you are not at home being mad b/c he is ot at home with you. Has this always been his schedule and if so why are you complaining about it now? You need to talk communication is key!! Make your feelings know. Try and do it in way that is not going to shut him down from listening to you the minute you open your mouth....just remember he has feelings to.....

2006-10-13 01:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by Dark Goddess 3 · 0 0

Somehow he lost interest. Since you not married to him (his options is open) whenever you go out of your way for a guy, and do everything for them, they think they own you and you in need of them, they know no matter what you will be there. So so him you dont depend on him that much, play abit hard to get, go abit out with your friend and show him you also have a life. Cause his life, his social life is growing while you are at home waiting for him, and you not even married yet. Imagine when you married-you might grow old all alone. Love hurts, so before you fall deeper-make yourself strong and start livin-take back control-show him you have pride. Good luck.

2006-10-13 08:57:27 · answer #2 · answered by matrix 1 · 0 0

If you've known one another for a year how could you have not seen this? Not to mention you take the major step of purchasing a house together. It really sounds irresponsible to me.

On another note, would you rather have him at home playing video games or watching TV versus hanging out in a bar watching hockey with his pals?

Shame on you for not ensuring your life styles were 'compatible". Although...find me a married couple whose lifestyles ARE.

2006-10-13 09:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1 0

I have to hope it wasn't always like this. If it was, then why enter the relationship to start with? Please don't ever think you can change a guy. You can tell him you want time with him and his attention, but you might not get it. I understand that we all have things we enjoy, but it sounds like he only has time for you when he feels like it. Sex life as bad as everything else? Are you being used as live-in sex? You don't sound happy. You really need to sit down and get your thoughts in order. Then talk to him about what is bothering you and get his opinion. If he's happy as-is and doesn't want to change anything, then the ball is in your court. Stay or go. Can you live with this for years? Would you want to? For me, a relationship takes two. If he's not putting any time into the relationship, it sounds like its already over. Be it him or someone else, you deserve a guy you don't have to beg to hang out with you.....

2006-10-13 09:29:48 · answer #4 · answered by Velken 7 · 0 0

First question do you love him if so you know what the answer is. Another thing is that you need to find away to connect with him on the game level. Try to see if he will teach you how to play or when he is gone play around with the game yourself. Or the next weekend that you all do not have anything to do go some where for the weekend and ..................
Fill in the blank with whatever you want to do with him

2006-10-13 08:33:50 · answer #5 · answered by nunaberry98 2 · 0 0

Get involved in universtity activities.
Stop picking up after him
If you continue to treat him like you are his mother he will gladly let you.
Start going out with classmates to Art shows, Concerts, or whatever it is that you enjoy. Try going to his games and helping him. Get rid of the Nintendo. "Accidentally "on purpose drop it in the trash. Also, get rid of the dogs they are young enough to adapt to new owners.
Now you know why they say that people who live together have a slimmer chance of a successful marriage. There's no open-door policy.

2006-10-13 09:26:43 · answer #6 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 1 0

So many women gripe about their men being gone a lot due to work duties, hobbies, etc. I think it's because a lot of women have unreasonable expectations about what a romantic relationship is supposed to be. Who said that a guy has to give up his life just because he has a girlfriend?

Your boyfriend has a busy, stressful life and needs to wind down at night. Apparently, being with you is not relaxing and stress-relieving for him anymore, or he'd be wanting to spend his spare time with you and not playing videogames, etc.

Is being with him a happy and stress-free time for you, or do you look forward to some time alone after spending too many hours with him?

If I was the one in your situation, I'd back off and let him have his own life. When he came home, I wouldn't gripe at him about the time he's not spending with me. I'd be pleasant and try to act the same way I acted when he fell in love with me. If that didn't work after a few weeks, I'd propose ending the relationship.

As far as being his maid - whether you clean up after him is totally your choice. You can just as easily tell him he has to eat off of paper plates if he's not going to wash his dishes, and just throw all his dirty clothes, etc. on his side of the bedroom. Or you could reach some sort of agreement - eg you'll do all the cleaning if he keeps everything in the house in good repair.

2006-10-13 08:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by farmgirl 3 · 0 2

Why do you act like a maid? Get some hobbies of your own and occupy your time while he is playing hockey.

2006-10-13 08:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by Liz 7 · 0 0

Have you tried to talk to him? I mean, not just shouting 'Where have you been?', but actually sit down and say to him that you're not happy with this situation? I'm sure that if he cares enough for you he'll be able to change some of his habits...if not, at least you know what to expect. Good luck

2006-10-13 08:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by chrusotoxos 6 · 0 0

since you two are not married, there is no obligation that you have to stay with him if you are unhappy wthi him. Why don't you make him aware of your feelings. Maybe he needs some professional counselling. If he does not change, maybe time for you to be decisive.

2006-10-13 09:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by Peter_F 3 · 0 0

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