okay so i get on grand with my fiances parents, however, because I'm undergoing chemo i've had to quit my job and lack of money etc means I'm currently living with my partner and her parents. It's all very well and good but I am getting increasingly irritated by the fuss her parents give me. I know they're worried because I'm ill and tehy're only showing concern but there are times i'd rather get on with things. How do I politely deal with this?i don't want them to thik I'm rude but i don't want to keep being fussed as though I'm incapable.
Christian
2006-10-13 00:54:05 · 12 answers · asked by Christian S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi again
Obviously they only mean well and I can tell that you understand that. I'm sure you don't want your illness to be everything about your life and perhaps thats the way they're making you feel, as though thats the only thing about you.
If you get on with them very well I'd say just sit them down and explain that although you appreciate their concern, could they give you a bit of space to overcome your own worries and get on with other areas in your life.
If you feel unable to do that I'd explain in an honest matter to your fiancee, explain that you're grateful they care but its a bit too much. Maybe she can then relay this information to them in a way they won't be offended.
Good luck, in this situation and everything in life :o)
2006-10-13 21:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by lindsay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honesty is the best policy, its only natural because you're ill that they want to fuss i would be the same and you yourself probably would if it was your fiance that was sick, so your best off sitting them down telling them how much you appreciate it etc but you would like to do more yourself and your not being rude etc etc just be honest.
I hope you get well soon and good luck with everything x
2006-10-13 08:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by dubgirl26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? Your going through enough right now. To have them on your case is an insult. You should talk to them and tell them how you feel obviously in a polite manner. But maybe they will under stand that you cant do what they think is best right now you have to do whats best for you. They and your fiance should be completely supportive of you right now and help any way they can. If they aren't then there not good people and get out of there.
2006-10-13 08:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by emma's mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awe, come on now. Just be thankful these overbearing people love you enough to be so concerned. They just love you and want to make sure you're okay and will obviously go to the ends of earth to insure your comfort. Just grin and bear it, and be thank ful, okay?
Yup, it's a little irritating, but eat it up and enjoy it, because once your' all well, you'll miss all the attention and sort of say, maid service. Okay?
Attempt to do stuff yourself and when they jump in to do it for you, just say "I need to do some things here, on my own or all my bones and mind will get old and break down and wither away, please let me try, okay? "
Okay? goodluck with your recovery and please most importantly , keep a positive outlook and keep laughing, it heals all.
2006-10-13 08:02:56 · answer #4 · answered by avalm@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, honesty is the best policy. I have a mother-in-law that I can't stand and visa versa iam sure. Be thankful you have so much attention. The alternative is worse!! Just let them know how you feel about the situation. I always use the phrase, "Put the shoe on the other foot", it works everytime.
2006-10-13 08:00:49 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with them and say exactly what you have said in your question. Believe me they will understand - it's just natural to make a fuss over people you love when they are ill.
2006-10-13 07:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by shirley p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm sorry you aren't well. I appreciate the difficulty of your position. My suggestion is to find ways to help around the house with things you are capable of helping with, maybe dishes or laundry or something. If they see you doing stuff like that, they may stop making such a fuss over you. If they try to stop you from doing such things, just politely look into their eyes, and say, "Please, I NEED to do this. For me. For you. Please let me do this. I feel well enough to help with this and it is important to me." I wish you the best of luck, Christian, and you are in my prayers.
2006-10-13 08:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should either just explain how you are feeling to your gfriend are get her to have a word with them, or sit them done and just explain that you appreciate all the help and concern etc but that you are feeling abit smothered by all the attention, and would prefer just to get on with things as normal. i think the longer you leave it the more it will get to you then you run the risk of snapping at them and causing bad feeling.. good luck and be strong
2006-10-13 10:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest mate
its always the best way to go!
Tell them go need to chat! and just be calm and tell them what's on your mind! you will probably find they are more understanding than you think! fact is your the most important thing in the world to thier daughter! which makes you important to them!
Good luck mate! let me know how you get on!
2006-10-13 07:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Nigi-magic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say thanks but could you do it yourself to see if you can. This way they will think they are helping you. Tell them that if you need them you will come and ask them. Good luck honey
2006-10-13 11:58:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋