but we havnt spoken to each other for around 4 years due to a fight. now my gay friends have found out about him through website... im confused... what do i do...?
2006-10-13 00:53:39 · 22 answers · asked by gabriel x 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It's sad that you didn't speak to each other for such a long time. Maybe you should just contact him, and start being brothers again.
But why are you so confused that he is gay too? What does that change for you, you start to think different about it? neither of you has anything to say in it, it just is the way it is, you are born who you are. No need to be confused about that.
Anyway, maybe this is a good time to start having contact again. You have something in common that is not always an easy thing to deal with, depending of your surroundings of course and the tolerance of those around you. You might be able to support each other sometimes.
2006-10-13 01:43:27 · answer #1 · answered by Bloed 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep an open mind through this and don't let yourself get overwhelmed by confusion or depression. I imagine it might be embarrassing for both of you. Is there any way you could call your brother, as an attempt to simply get over the past fight (IF you want to try to forgive & forget). Maybe if you could call him and say that you would like to get together for coffee to see if there is any hope of being friendly again, then that would be a start. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to discuss the new gay issue. But trying to patch things up from the past might ease tensions and then later on, the topic might be easier to approach. Also, he might be just as sensitive about this and he might feel that you could be judging him, so please use a bit of caution with your words.
Also, I know this is difficult, but just because two gays are in the same family doesn't have to mean that it should be impossible to relate. Straights get along within the same family. I know the situations can be different, but try to stay focused on positive values, and don't let negativity or fear mess you around.
Good luck with this.
2006-10-13 08:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by SB 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It will only be awkward if you let it. Go talk with him. You don't have to break the ice with ... "Man .. heard you're gay too" ... start out smooth. It will start moving .. I promise.
I was devistated when I found out my Mom was a lesbian ... then my brother came out as "bi" a short time after. The only issue I have about my brother when we go out is that he makes it a competition. I see someone first, then he turns around and tries to be the playa. I smack him upside the head and we're cool again!!
You need your brother even if he were straight. It's family dude, don't make it into something worse than it is.
2006-10-13 08:56:22 · answer #3 · answered by spartexcites 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why? You should embrace each other, and not that way! I mean you guys have something HUGE in common now! Go to a gaybar or something, get drunk and forgive each other for whatever you fought about. You have to forgive your brother if you want to be forgiven, what better place than a gay bar, they're kind of fun, there's no inhibition. It's like you gays let loose everything you don't want the straights to see. Go have fun, embrace your life, that's why He gave it to you.:o]
2006-10-13 08:08:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depending on your ages, brother to brother relationships are ALWAYS ackward!
As you mature, you both will probably be able to tolerate one another a little more and will be able to begin meaningful discussions.
If you're already mature, shame on you...chin up, act like an adult, and have a good ole heart to heart with your brother.
One thing I have learned, dear heart, is that you can't bring back the past, and once out of your life, there are no second chances to be close to family members and friends.
SO. . . swallow your pride, get those butterflies under control and approach your brother, sincerely, and say, hey, bro., we need to talk.
You just may be surprised to find he wants to talk just as much as you.
Best wishes, loads of love, happiness and prosperity for you, your brother and those you love!
2006-10-13 09:57:53 · answer #5 · answered by DanZ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on what the fight was, I think it's time to burry the htachet and use common ground to start speaking again. You both may want a family member for support
2006-10-13 10:21:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the bigger person and use this commonality to bridge the gap between you two. It is plausible to do this and mend all wounds. In as much; its much better to face your issues together, rather by yourself. If you need to apologize, do so quickly. Overall, it doesn't matter who was at fault, the more important agenda is to make peace, and link the gap.
2006-10-13 12:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by Swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reach out n go beyond the fight... why shd it be awkward if he is gay too... shd be the same like straights... anyway try to patch up the gaps n fight. all the best..
2006-10-13 08:30:27 · answer #8 · answered by aasweet 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is a good opening to get intouch with each other again. It's certianly a common ground for you to talk about. Get in touch with him.
2006-10-13 10:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by golden oldy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
contact him. I'm not surprise, I've talk to people where there was more than one gay sibling in the family. maybe you should contact him before it's too late because if you don't you might regret it.
2006-10-13 10:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋