may sound silly, i sit with a group of girls in college around my age or younger (im 23) and most of them have children. i do get on with them but sometimes feel i have nothing to contribute to their conversations because all they talk about is kids and pregnancy and i myself have no kids. is it silly to feel left out ?
2006-10-13 00:49:54 · 15 answers · asked by cleo the pussycat 5 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
No, you're not being silly. Think of it like this. If they were all into rock climbing and constantly talking about rock climbing, you would probably feel left out of their conversations then too, but you wouldn't necessarily want to take up that hobby. What would be silly is if you now went out and got pregnant so that you wouldn't have to feel left out anymore.
I'm 30, and I have no children. This isn't such an issue with friends, but a lot of my colleagues have been having children the last few years. So there are LOTS of baby pictures shown at work, stories about two year olds saying something cute, etc. Not to mention the kids being dropped off at work a half hour before we're supposed to leave or 20 minutes before our day starts (I teach) so that the parents can 'watch' them yet remain at school for their contracted time. Don't ask me how that works!
2006-10-13 01:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by Kiki 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be honest, your son might be pretty excited about the baby. In your last post you said he would be about 4 when the new baby comes. To him, this will be his new little play mate, most likely. Since you are already concerned about this 2 years before it happens, chances are you will make sure that your son is not left out. Your son will probably look at your fiance as his dad since he is so young right now. I don't think you are being selfish, but perhaps a bit unfair-here you are with a man who it would seem loves you and your son, and took on the challenge of dating a woman with a son and is willing to commit to spending his future with you, therefore not allowing him to have a kid with anyone else, and then you are not wanting to give him a chance to father a child. It's not really selfish-you aren't doing it for you, but for your son-but it's also not really fair to your fiance either, if you know what I mean. Also, your fiance may be willing to adopt your son if his father is willing to give up his parental rights. I think if I were you I would at least give him a chance.
2016-05-21 22:33:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not silly to feel left out. Just focus on your own life and what your goals are. You said most of them have children. Are you aware of how the others that don't have children handle the situation? I bet they feel the same as you do. Why not seat yourself near those women. Feeling left out happens in all kinds of situations. Most of the women I golf with are related and talk about family relationships, trips they are taking, etc. and I certainly feel left out. I just sit quiet and listen. I remember before my husband and I had children and were with couples that did. All they talked about was their children. That's what consumes their life. You are not going to have everything in common with those around you. But you'll find there are those around you in your same position. Time passes. Things change. This is just one stage of your life. Don't let it bother you too much.
2006-10-13 01:07:54 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
children grow older and move on, they need their own space, it doesn't seem long at all before they have their own friend's and life style,think carefully before you start a family they need a mother and father, a warm and the comfort of the home and a relationship that is loving and kind, groups of younger mother's are going to talk of their children,schooling and life style, you could find a group that are interested in cooking or painting and flower arranging to get you taking about other things
2006-10-13 01:13:21 · answer #4 · answered by angie n 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, its silly.
You've got a life, they haven't.
So you want to be involved in more interesting conversations because you can't talk about burping, nappies etc.
Good on you, don't get drawn in. 23 is really young. It seems like you have drifted into this group of people. Is there another group you could get involved with ? Its nothing personal against them, you have different interests.
2006-10-13 01:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obviously you feel left out, its not silly, but you should try and keep focus on what you want in life, dont let this change your outlook on where you want to be and when you decide to have kids. Try and mix with more people, some that are on your level and dont av kids yet, but its not silly to feel left out. and if you ask me, they are the ones that are missing out on life, you go girl. 23 and still no kids, i hope thats how i am when i am 23. takecare. xx
2006-10-13 00:54:39 · answer #6 · answered by london lady 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Course not. When they all have kids, you'll be their best friend, cos you'll be baby-sitting for them! Also, it's a lot better when you can give them back at the end of the day, rather than get up in the middle of the night cos they want feeding, they've "done something" or screaming blue murder!
2006-10-13 01:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I think is your problem here, is not the fact that you don't have kids, but, complex(inferiority or superiority - both are bad). Then, you've just accepted defeat when no one is actually fighting you.
Keep your head high and be proud that you are just focused and will have kids when its time for you to do so. Remember, they're a group of girls, not you. always put your life first.
2006-10-13 01:01:20 · answer #8 · answered by Aikay 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, i think... because why would you feel pressured to have kids? in the first place, why do you want to have kids? just to fit in? that's not a good reason to have them... besides, you're still young (you're only a year older than me) and you can still do so much things in life before you settle down...
try to go with the flow... research if you have to... but don't feel left out... because having kids is a precious thing... they are not for display... there are there to be loved and for you to cherish...
2006-10-13 00:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by callistachan 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, think yourself lucky that you have all of your time & money to yourself, I don't have any children but intend to have some when the time is right.
2006-10-13 00:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by sling it bird 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋