i want to confront someone thats been doing something that i really dont like but im not the type of person that likes to hold anything in because when i do i tend to let it eat me up inside and when i explode it comes out the wrong way. I dont want that to happen again but i also dont wanna hold back on telling that person what they did wrong, at the same time i wanna know how i can do it in a way where they dont take it the wrong way. so how the heck do i do that?
2006-10-13 00:25:55 · 11 answers · asked by babygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
First let the person know that you would like to talk with them about an issue in the relationship, and ask them if there is a convenient time for them to talk with you.
When they agree to talk with you, explain how you feel when they act out the problem behavior. Keep the focus on YOUR feelings - such as, "I feel uncomfortable when you do this," or "I feel angry and hurt when you do this."
By expressing your feelings, you are not judging their behaviour as right or wrong, you are just communicating how you respond to it emotionally.
Express to them an alternative way that they could behave that would not cause you to have those feelings. For example, you could say, "It works better for me if you . . ." and then explain a positive behaviour.
Good luck.
2006-10-13 00:32:42 · answer #1 · answered by a_blue_grey_mist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last thing that you want right now is to hurt someone's feelings. Sit down and talk to the person that is really bothering you. Talk to that person in a calm, civilized manner. Let that person know what is really bothering you and you would appreciate that person to stop. You have to stand up for yourself and not let anyone take advantage of you. It is hard to get our feelings out in the open without them eating us up inside. This particular person might not even be aware of what they're doing and that issue needs to be addressed. The person will appreciate it once you say something. I hope my advice will help you. Good luck.
2006-10-13 04:01:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lady S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be silly and hold it in. Just tactfully tell this person what you are thinking. If you can do it sweetly it shouldn't offend or anger them. Attitude is important...never confront someone with what you don't like. You'll get a much better response much more often by simply speaking the truth with a grain of sugar. Good luck.
2006-10-13 00:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is better to wait a while let your feelings cool down a bit, call them,sit in a place and "try" to be nice to them,but honest to yopurself they may get hurt but in the end it worth it.
2006-10-13 00:31:26 · answer #4 · answered by Elsalsis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no sure way to tell someone without hurting his/her feelings. Is the bother important enough to risk a friendship? We choose our battles - this is a choice for you.
2006-10-13 00:35:17 · answer #5 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are hesitating to speak it out, maybe you can try putting someone else in that scenerio and see what that person comments. Maybe then you may tell your views directly.
2006-10-13 00:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by Mermaid 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bring it up when you are just talking about a bunch of different things and try to get something that could lead you into thinking about it and say that it just popped into your head and be nice about it before blowing up.
2006-10-13 00:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup, no point stewin over some thing that could be innocent, I've necked myself a few times too hahahaha
2006-10-13 00:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by Mosez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them ,if they 're your friend they will hopefully understand . I'm very straight forward.
2006-10-13 00:29:16 · answer #9 · answered by yukon517 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be helpful if you said what it was they were doing.
2006-10-13 00:27:33 · answer #10 · answered by John 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋