my son with my ex is 20 and totaly dependant and lives with me and my new husband. i have 2 children with my new husband we have been married 6 years but my ex constantly tries to disrupt our lives with a constant barrage of demands he does not financhaly contribute to anything and i would'nt want him too. does he still have the same legal rights as he had when my son was under 18. ex left me for another woman so why can't he get on with his life and let me get on with mine i am at my wits end and have even considerd putting my son into care i don't want to do this as it would break my heart but if my ex and his gilfriend carry on it will break my mind
2006-10-12 22:19:06 · 11 answers · asked by shaggy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't let your ex run your life. and get a lawyer.
2006-10-12 22:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should put your son in a home. Don't punish him for your ex husband's behavior. I don't know if your ex still has any rights b/c your son is over 18. Have you ever considered legal advice?? I just hear horrible stories about homes when folks don't get the care they need or deserve. If you ex doesn't contribute then I think he should but out. Another passive aggressive move would be to change your phone number and not give it to him or have his number blocked. and don't make yourself available when he comes to visit your son. Good luck with this. Hang in there!
2006-10-12 23:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No your ex does not have the same rights as when your son was under 18. Remind him of this. Why not tell him if he wants to be part of your son's life, he can care and look after him for a week or so. That way, you will get respite and quality time with your new family.
2006-10-12 22:28:20 · answer #3 · answered by caza 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm truly sorry for your troubles..but I can't see why he is making such a big deal now that your son is 20...sounds to me like he hasn't given to much contribution to raising him and helping with his needs...I feel he's beginning to realize that maybe he has made a mistake and found out that the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence....I think he's regretting his decision and sometimes the only excuse for being able to have any dealings with you is by using your son....Look into getting an adviser in this matter...Good Luck
2006-10-13 01:04:00 · answer #4 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are such jerks at times and i'm one......but i must say....does he still have feelings for ya.....id say so. So heres what happened.....he went off with another woman for whatever reason and now its not working out either because he is a jerk.....and now he cant bear to see u happy because he isn't and the son of yours....god rest the poor guy.......is he only bargining tool. Talk to a solicitor and tell him everything. Maybe if your son was in care....but for a short while.......that may help him to stay away.....anyways good look to ya......
2006-10-12 22:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a good solicitor with experience around disability - good advice and knowledge is everything. Also, try calling the Disability Advice Line (i cant remember the number, sorry). They are bloody hard to get through to but very good once you are through. They may be able to tell you of any sols with relevant knowledge. It has got to be worth the effort - for you all.
2006-10-12 22:26:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i fear i am heading where you are, i have a 12yrd old severly autistic son who lives with myself and my 2nd husband, my ex husband doesn't care about him but will use him as an excuse to cause trouble, i can however asure you that he doesn't have the same rights as he did before the 18 mark, my husband has a 19yr old disabled daughter with his ex wife and cannot get to see her as she is over 18, if he is bothering you and your'e son wouldn't mind then tell your'e ex to get lost, the worst he could do was involve social services to question your'e care of your'e son, but as long as you are meeting his needs they will not get involved, good luck
2006-10-13 04:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go and see a solicitor,he will tell you what your rights are.
He sounds like he's still trying to control you.
Perhaps because he's disabled you could be made his sole legal guardian,and your husband wouldnt have any say in his care,i hope so.good luck x
2006-10-12 22:27:23 · answer #8 · answered by Pat R 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your son is an adult ... if he is incapable of making decisions for himself, then you need to get a power of attorney to make them for him... file a restraining order against your husband and call the cops if he breaks it.
its time to stop using your son as a pawn in your disputes ... how does your son feel about his father? As long as the son doesn;t invite the father, the father is not entitled to come by and bug you or call you under a restraining order
2006-10-12 22:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get advice from a solicitor or the Citizens Advice Bureux.
2006-10-12 22:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Andrea P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like an awful situation. I agree with most people here, get legal advice. I'm guessing that your ex can't harass you in this manner legally.
2006-10-12 22:26:38 · answer #11 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋