The thing is my ex wants to take the children away from me and send them to Somalia (Africa) where women like me do not have a say. I work full time as a nurse to suport my children, who are age 11 and 6. They have always resided with me since their birth. they also go to visit their dad on holidays. In August this year, he retained my son and refused to bring him back, I went to court and they issied a collection order for my son to be collected. He is now with me. We have an ongoing case and his Lawyer is quite good and asked for the court to do a section 7 investigation here in UK London. He always manipulate the kids and brainwash them that it will be heaven living with him, no homework, eating fast food everyday, go to bed the time they want to etc.
My worries is if the kids says they want to leave with him, will the court decide to take the kids from my care based on that?? i am a wonderful mother for my kids even the schools can confirm that...
2006-10-12 22:09:27 · 17 answers · asked by hanni_mohamud 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NO WAY
The section 7 report is to work out the best interests of the children.
The mother is always the place the judge would choose for the children and you have to be a terrible mother (on drugs, abusing alcohol, neglecting the children etc) for the report to suggest residence with the father.
The children are asked their opinion and they play games and get the children to draw pictures to explain what they want and why.
If what you have written here is true, you have very little to worry about as far as the courts are concerned.
2006-10-13 12:56:00 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to look at this is as an outsider, then you will be able to see it from the courts point of view, i personally think that the fast food/ no bedtime/no homework thing will be counted against him as kids need routine, what i think you need to do is have a stable home, steady job and routines in place for your life, then when the courts look at the situation, they will see that this is a good environment for them to be in.
Also the fact that he kept your son from you and refused to give him back without a court order will more than likely be a huge weight against him, because in my opinion that shows that he is volatile.
all i can say is Show the court that you are settled, have a good steady job and a clean and tidy house and show them that you love your children and would do anything for them, and that is basically all the advice i can give you.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-12 22:20:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a dreadful position to be in, listen us here on answers can only tell you what we think, unless there is a good a family lawyer who is online??, and some of the answers you get may not be what you want to hear, which could upset you even further. If we are to think logically if you have been the sole custodian over the children and he has not supported them financially then I do not think a court will give him custody, yes of course 'daddy is wonderful we can do anything we want' that always happens believe me, I have two children to my ex., - that is not going to be any strong defence for your ex's lawyer. I could not put myself in your position, I really feel for you, but you have to believe that the courts will rule for your case, and be strong. The very best of luck to you.
2006-10-12 22:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There father doesnt stand a chance even if the children say they want to be with him. A judge will understand what you have been through and also when in court make sure your solicitor advises the judge on the recent somalia crisis and you feel that if the children went back there they would be in harms way of the current climate of rebel wars there. He doesnt stand a chance
good luck
2006-10-12 22:12:59 · answer #4 · answered by alismudge 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it is easy to manipulate children thinking the grass is going to be greener on the other side. I truly hope the courts wouldn't be that shallow and let him have custody of them because they say they want to go..I would start getting letters and statement's from the people in the schools, churches ,doctors offices anywhere individuals see you interacting with your children, that will be a plus on your side in court. Besides he won't see t hat coming..Don't tell your kids what you are doing to, because they will relay it back to him not purposely, but via conversation !!! GOOD LUCK, and I hope he rots it hell for putting you through this mess.
2006-10-12 22:16:41 · answer #5 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a copy of the collection order for your son to be collected, let your lawyer also have a copy. Get school reports also and ask your lawyer to present them in Court.
It might help you to get CAFCAS involved.
As you have access to the internet why not find pictures or reports which represent the ''difficult'' side of Somalia for your children to see. Good luck with your case.
2006-10-12 22:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by caza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I've just answered your other posting - if your ex is promising the kids these marvellous, but ultimately unhealthy things, then that doesn't say much for him, it's clear he's just trying to make you look bad, and that he really isn't thinking about the children's best interests. I think that the courts will be able to judge what is best for the kids, particularly in the light of what their father is offering them, which is irresponsible and unrealistic. So don't worry about it.
2006-10-12 22:36:59 · answer #7 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to explain to your kids that he is only telling them these things because he wants to take them away. I have been in the same situation and I finally gave up and let my son live with his dad, (He was only 10 at the time) his father did let him do whatever he wanted for a while but eventually things changed and my son would call me crying wanting to come back home and because I let him go I could not get him back. So I would fight him on this one, Unless your ex could prove that you are unfit you will win. But please talk to your children because they will think that you are trying to keep them away from their dad.
2006-10-13 00:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most custody battles the mother gets the kids, unless the kids have a strong will to be with the father. If the father can support, and the child chooses him over you, then thats where the kid goes. If he retained your son in Africa, he obviously cares about his kids and wants to be around them.
2006-10-12 22:16:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i dont think that would be the case due to your kids are too young really to make a decision. the courts will base the custody on living conditions, money, and basically well being of the kids and considering they have been with you since birth i dont see why they would disrupt that.,
But good luck anyway!
2006-10-12 22:15:08 · answer #10 · answered by kazza1613 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋