My wife says that Im suffocating her in all the attention that i give to her. I love to hug, kiss and spend all the time I can with her. She says that she needs space as well and I understand that but I can see her withdwraw when I hug her and try to show affection to her. She has been unfaithful to me and we are trying to work on the marriage. She says she wants to work on the marriage but I feel that she still has feeling for the last man she has been with. What are the major signs for me to look for to know that she is playing me for a fool.
2006-10-12 21:59:55 · 15 answers · asked by ACE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have already answered your question. The fact that your wife is rejecting your affection indicates that she is trying place distance between the two of you. It seems that she does not want to have an intimate (physically, spirtiually, emotionally) relationship with you anymore. The big red flag is that she cheated on you and yet she is behaving in this manner! It seems that if she was truly concerned and honest about wanting to work out whatever issues that exist in your marriage, she would be contrite, and she would be reaching out to you. If you truly want to stay in the marriage, you need to tell her exactly how her behavior makes you feel, and ask her what she expects from your relationship. Listen carefully to what she says, and use the verbal and non verbal cues that she gives you to decide whether or not this is a relationship worth staying in. Also, consider getting marriage counseling if you can afford it. If you can't, check out universities in your area that may offer counseling for at a minimal cost.
2006-10-12 22:11:32 · answer #1 · answered by Yoshi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi man,
As much as i understand your doubt in your wife, first of all may i asked whether your affectionate attention given to your wife is after you realised her unfaithfulness or before the incident
You must know that woman though love to be loved in expressive ways from their husband but they need space - freedom! I am sure that goes to you. You need space too - i am sure you wont like your wife to interfere your work, your whereabout or even your friends that you often hang out with. In every relationship you need trust, my friend.
Basically if she had wanting to keep your marriage and prepare to start a fresh with you, please do not look back. I will suggest you both seek marriage counselling, a short break just for you two or if you happens to be a christian or any of your religion, attend a marriage encounter to forget and forgive....
Since God has created you both together as husband and wife and not forgetting your wedding vow through think and thin, till death do us part, i really wish you to start a new fresh with your wife whom i believe you love her very much
Lastly just a gentle reminder for you - nobody will want to do something they have no intention to do so if your wife wants to work on your marriage, dont let your negative feeling destroy her sincerity.
Do not doubt her and her feeling..give her space to renew your marriage.
2006-10-13 05:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by Priscilla N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok look i have been in her shoes literally. if you really want to work on your marriage you have got to start trusting her. give her some space. i know you are afraid you will loose her and you dont want her to get away so your insecurity is making you smother her. this will get better if you give her some space. even if she still loves the other guy. if she is in love with you and wants the marriage to work she will forget about him in time but it wont stop instantly. Try to figure out what does he give her that you dont? freedom? sex? does he make her feel special? does he make her laugh? does he listen to her dreams?do you ignore her sometimes? or are you always in her face? my husband did that and we separated. he finally learned to trust me and treat me with respect. He is the greatest husband i have ever had. He loves me and does for me like no man has ever come close to. We figure out what was missing and fixed it. I wanted adventure. So we started slipping away and having sex in places semi private at the lake or the park where we could get caught. We started playing games like with whipped cream. i started telling him what bothered me most about him in a loving way and he did me the same way. We have now been together 4 years ( 3 since we split up) and i have never been happier in my life. Hope this helps.
2006-10-13 05:11:27 · answer #3 · answered by marilee w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you just sit and talk? Talk about both of your feelings? Dreams? Sometimes when you give too much of one thing there is no balance and it becomes overwhelming ~ so much so that it becomes a negative thing. I feel that she could be confused, that she wants to talk with you more. Just give less physical attention and instead of hugging, compliment her, talk about your day, her day, up coming vacation, a special get away. You need to communicate, bring back the fun of your relationship and the only way you can do that on your side is to start trusting again and to start listening.
2006-10-13 05:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by sakura4eternity 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The signs are there, if she is shunning you away constantly then her mind is somewhere else.. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it sounds like she is still cheating.. I t sounds like you love your wife very much, but it's not mutual and that's a real shame. It's so hard to find a man to give you the attention that you need..Don't worry if you seperate yourself from her legally she'll be back, it's just if you would want her back after all of this infidelity???
2006-10-13 05:20:24 · answer #5 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife says that Im suffocating her
I can see her withdwraw when I hug her
She has been unfaithful
I feel that she still has feeling for the last man ........ you said it yourself time to move on ......
2006-10-13 05:07:03 · answer #6 · answered by seilygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you really should give her the space she wants, if your really want your marriage to work.
Second, you are accusing her by saying she has been UNFAITHFUL?! it's not fair, she needs her space, and suddenly she's unfaithful!!!!
Hope this helps
2006-10-13 05:09:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is very important. Maybe your should sit down and talk things over.
If it still doesn't work out. You should consider to see a marriage guidance counsellor.
2006-10-13 05:13:38 · answer #8 · answered by evelyn_01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the signs. She doesn't want you anymore and is playing you for a fool. Good luck and bless you.
2006-10-13 10:06:35 · answer #9 · answered by kajunmommie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
toooooooooooooo much love isnt gud dr,ofcrse she'l ask space.Giv her enof (jst ze rite amount) no matter hw ur yearng 4her.the more u'l cover her with attention ze more she'l wan get rid of u,let her decide, b patient n dnt show her u miss her.be brief/vague she'l find ur behaviour awkward n wil com bak 2u.bt u hav to wait it does take tym.
2006-10-13 05:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋