My boyfiend walked out on me when i was pregnant with his child, since then he has subjected me to horrible verbal abuse, cruel & sick jokes, basically making my life a misery. Yesterday he contacted me to say, if I pay him £10,000 he will stay away for good, even sign a contract giving up any rights he has to his daughter. I am sickened that he would sell his daughter, but I am really at my wits end, what should I do? Should I pay him or not?
2006-10-12 21:47:43 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you were not married to him when your daughter was born, he has no right to her anyway, he would have to apply for custody. Even if his name is on the birth certificate, he still has no right to her, if anything was to happen to you, she would automatically go to your next of kin. Go to the police and tell them what he is doing and you should be able to get an order for him to stay away from you and your daughter and if he doesn't he will get arrested.
2006-10-12 21:54:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have been able to contact you yesterday to say that. Change your telephone number, file a police report about what he did, and don't believe him. He's an abuser and he wants the money to cause abuse, like by using drugs, buying weapons, and so on. He shouldn't be treating you that way in the first place and he should be the one paying you on account of the child.
Learn from this. You got involved with the wrong person. Know to cut association instead of making the same mistake again. He's a serious problem and giving him what he wants will just be throwing fuel on the fire.
I am concerned that you are even considering giving him that kind of money. If you have it, you might pay part of it to a good lawyer to get legal protection from him. You might take a trip to a courthouse and ask about filing a restraining order against him.
2006-10-12 21:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you will think about his offer but you want it in writing ,then when you have it go to see a solicitor and show him,you may then be able to get some sort of court order keeping him away from you both and the written agreement will go to show he doesn't give a toss for his child.If he is making your life a misery in other ways you can have him for harassment,don't put up with this anymore.
2006-10-13 04:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by candyfloss 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely never ever pay an ex money unless morally or legally obliged.
He sounds like a complete rotter.
the best way to deal with him is to ignore him.
Don't speak to him, answer his calls, give him attention or be drawn into any arguments.
If you need to communicate becuase of your daughter, be polite and totally unemotional. Let him know there are boundaries - if he's abusive tell him "I don't listen to abuse" and simply hang up. If there are problems with the custody - speak to your local authorities and take any support they offer.
If he threatens you or causes you problems let him know you will go to the police - and DO IT.
Stand your ground sister. Good luck
2006-10-13 01:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
awe honey you need to get as much proof as possible on this sick man, and then get an injunction out on him, and if he threatens to go for access then say OK you can have it supervised one hour a month, he wont like that as you are giving away his bargaining chip to get to you daughter, change your numbers, and tell him all contact is to go through a solicitor, at the end of the day he should be paying you child support you are looking after his child, so don't give this waste of space anything, im me if you want to talk more x
2006-10-14 21:37:27 · answer #5 · answered by trouble 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use the 10,000 and hire someone to make sure he never contacts you again. I have a child by Someone abroad but i am allways in contact and I will set up a trust fund for him. Yes i am married well not any more because she found out. With 2 daughters.
2006-10-12 21:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by lee64do 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is called blackmail. You ought to contact Citizens Advice or if you're in a position to do it go to a solicitor. It might even be a case for the police but I'd see what advice you can get first. Good luck!
2006-10-12 21:51:52 · answer #7 · answered by Andromeda Newton™ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely not, he is just trying to exploit you. if things are really that bad you could try and get a restraining order on him, then he will not be allowed near you anyway, other than that you should just ignore his calls,or change your number, or if things are that bad maybe think about moving to a new house where he wont now where you are. i wouldn't give in to his demands though as there is no guarantee that he will actually stick to it, he may just keep asking for more money. good luck and i hope you manage to work something out, don't let him get you down
2006-10-13 04:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him to put it in writing along with an a account of his previous bad behaviour.
Then get yourself to the nearest Police station and have him charged with demanding money with menaces.
He sounds like a sick freak to me.
A nice long spell inside might do him some good and give you a chance to find yourself a new life with a decent man.
Good luck.
2006-10-12 21:53:19 · answer #9 · answered by jason12211 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No way should you pay this awful man, he will keep coming back for more, a piece of paper will mean nothing to him. You should try to break all ties with him even if it means moving to another area, if it becomes extreme you might consider a restraining order, then you keep that man away from you and your loved ones and not spend a penny.
2006-10-12 21:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by Nobody200 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋