There’s this white guy that supposedly likes me. And I was hanging with his friends jus talking laughing I was the only black girl and one of his friends came to the conversation to us and he like or yeah hanging with chocolate and everybody laughed except me then the guy that supposable likes me goes yeah your my chocolate bunny I said what! I got mad and got in is face all his friends left cus there scared then his friends came back saying I over reacted and I shouldn’t take it to offence which I felt I didn’t. So what would use of done by the way Im 19 his 20 so where mature.
2006-10-12 20:40:48 · 15 answers · asked by Ashanti 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think that I would have gotten mad too because you were the only black person there so I would have felt like the joke was on me and all about me who cares if he likes you that was wrong and he put you on the spot I do not think you overreacted! Tell them to put the shoe on the other foot I bet they would not have liked it done to them, do let noboby tell you what should and shouldn't offend you only you know what bothers you. that is just my two sense
2006-10-12 20:47:50 · answer #1 · answered by ttbird117 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always have a right to your feelings, whether other people agree with them or not. If something makes you feel bad, then yes, it is okay to feel that way. If somebody makes a statement about you that you feel is offensive, then it is okay to get mad. It is better that you let him know how you felt about the comment when it happened, rather than harboring resentment and exploding later. I think a mistake black people often make in all white situations is allowing white people to make remarks about them that are inappropriate and sometimes offensive. If you start by allowing people to comment on your race in seemingly harmless ways, they may get too comfortable and make increasingly offensive comments. As you can imagine this could culminate with someone dropping the 'N' bomb, because they think you are 'cool', and we know that won't end well.
When a White person (or anyone for thhat matter) makes a racially insensitive comment like this, they won't know you are offended unless you point it out to them. This doesn't only apply to Black people, this goes for women and anyone else. You have to set standards for yourself and how you will allow people to treat you. This is the only way you will receive the respect that you deserve. I doubt that these guys intended to offend you with the chocolate bunny remark, nevertheless, you certainly had a right to be offended. The only thing I think you could have done differently was instead of "getting all up in his face", you could have explained why you were offended, and asked him not to refer to you by that name again.
2006-10-12 20:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by Yoshi 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like an affectionette pet name..and Im black. I dont see what was so bad, maybe because you were the only black person, did he say it in a demeening way. Perhaps, you have a little problem with your own skin color, (are you dark skinned) and the word "choclate" made you feel insecure again ( like maybe you did in your youth".
I would say talk to him. Ask him. Is he a mature adult. Find out what his intentions by saying that were. Let him know it upset you and why..if you know why yourself. No..it is not like being called a "n****r at all. My husband is a very sexy dark choclate complexion and I call him all sorts of things out of affection. Im light skinned and Im all types of red this and red that.
Delve a little deeper into self, to find out what it is that really upset you.
I mean if your complexion is dark choclate, or even milk choclate..maybe thats all he was refering too.
Choclate is sexy, senuous, romantic in all aspects between men and women, and that may be more along the lines of what he meant...
I wouldn't be so quick to to say he insulted yousomehow..
unless you also feel like he said it as if youwere his "black token girl" in his all white circle..i really cant say i wasnt there and i dont know him..but you do ..so what do you realky think now that you have had time to reflect.
2006-10-12 21:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by RAW29 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What they said was stupid and insensitive. The guy who is supposed to like you is a chicken shi t for giving in to the moment and siding with the others. It shows that he's still not comfortable with being a white guy hanging with you.
If he caved in that easy, imagines what he says when you're not around to hear. He sounds like a two faced little creep!
You need to upgrade your friends again I think.
Good luck!
2006-10-12 20:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like ignorance and disrespect, but it could also have been playful teasing to see what kind of sport you are. They just may not be very intelligent and not know the how to's of teasing. Honestly I would have been offended. Its like a dude calling a girl candy pants only with racial implications behind it. It disrespects her and degrades her. No way.
2006-10-12 20:45:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you already responded your question. "I suggested what! I have been given mad and have been given in is face all his friends left cus there scared then his friends got here decrease back announcing I over reacted and that i shouldn’t take it to offence which I felt I didn’t. Then he is going to declare why do all black chicks have mega explosive themes that have been given me angy back." You overreacted. Take a chill out. It annoys me whilst human beings overreact to something that would desire to be taken as racist. If a black guy suggested which you wouldnt think of two times approximately it. This guy likes you and you scream at him. you recognize he didnt recommend to be recommend to you. you are able to have purely talked to him on the edge.. Now you lost a freind in all probability....sturdy pastime
2016-10-02 06:19:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calling u a chocolate bunny is like calling u a n**ger and is not acceptable at all! I'd make it clear to your b/f that you will NOT put up with that sh*t at all and if he condones of it then the two of you are no more!
2006-10-12 20:46:23 · answer #7 · answered by Greg M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he was just being cute. It wasn't that he was putting you down. Calm down next time. There are worse things people can say to be cruel. Yeah, you are both mature, so next time don't act like a child and get in his face in front of his friends over something so pity! now that was immature don't you think?
2006-10-12 20:51:49 · answer #8 · answered by Humming Bird 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your guy was trying to pass it off as a joke because he didn't feel like making a scene at that time.
if you made a scene that's ok, you have the right to do that.
actually, I think the new guy was out of line to make that comment
2006-10-12 21:04:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes you was wrong for getting mad, He may have called you Chocolate Bunny because you "was" a sweet person, now you went off the handle now he may thing of you as a bad person.,
2006-10-12 20:48:21 · answer #10 · answered by dmncprkr 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋