My husband does not understand how I feel. He was an hour drive to and from an area where he would have had service. We have two young kids...I knew this was a possibility, but it was difficult. What can I say to help him understand instead of resenting me or shutting down and saying "fine, then I just won't go anymore"?
2006-10-12 20:21:36 · 18 answers · asked by huntingwidow 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To clarify, we have been married 10 plus years. I used to go with him before we had kids. Our youngest son has health issues and was sick while he was gone. I just wanted to be able to share with him. I am totally not that bitchy wife who doesn't understand or let her husband do anything. He is home now for 4 days then he's leaving again until the end of the month. It may be the same scenario (unless I pay for a $300 plus satellite phone). At least I know now what to be prepared for.
The gal who said I should realize there are other women who go for months without talking to their husbands (i.e. military) was right, but it is still somewhat different...perhaps?
2006-10-12 20:33:58 · update #1
I know he's not cheating - he goes with his father and some other older dude. I saw all the pictures and he brings home the carcass that we consume. He drew tags in 3 different states this year.
I think his deer hunting always did come first. I should have known from the beginning.
2006-10-12 20:54:56 · update #2
Write him an email or a letter. Cos, when writing, you have more time to think of the appropriate words to use and the reader would get the message across more accurately without any interruption.
Good luck!
ps. you should get a hobby too.
2006-10-12 20:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by Geo C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just sit him down when you are both alone, be calm, smile, and explain that you were worried that if something should have happened to the kids, you would have wanted to get in touch with him. You were also worried about him, what if he was in a hunting accident, how would you have known?
Then, just tell him you miss him and the kids miss him and it would be nice for the kids to say goodnight and for both of you to share your day and then say "I love you, goodnight".
Maybe next time he can give you the motel phone number when he arrives, and call you before he goes to bed every night. Or you could call him at the motel every night before bedtime to save money since the motel phone charges could be high.
As a Dad and a Husband, in this day and age, he has to be accessible in some way to ease the family's comfort, and keep the family together. He doesn't want to make the kids feel unwanted, or unimportant, and you too !
Don't fight, don't make a mean face. Just express your love and feelings and let him think what if the shoe were on the other foot, how would he feel?
Remind him a good marriage takes work, but it's worth it!
Good luck !
2006-10-12 20:50:53 · answer #2 · answered by MuggleMom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he go hunting a lot or just something that he does on occasion? Did he do this before you married him or he just started? If he was doing this before you two got married he wasn't going to stop because he got married. If it's something he does once and a while and besides this he's a good husband and father let him do it it's only 7 days. Find something to do while he's gone because if he truly enjoys this and you make a big stink about it nothing you are going to do or say is going to stop him from resenting you.
2006-10-12 20:25:44 · answer #3 · answered by Crumbling_Cookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Small children don't need cell phones. They're usually with their own parents or under supervision. I understand maybe once in a while when they're over at a friends house and there isn't any other way they can contact their parents. iPhones? Wow. Nice, but way too much than what they need. I understand it's probably hard for the young girl at this moment, but if your husband starts spoiling her now, she'll expect that attention all the time. Just because a parent of hers passed away, she doesn't need expensive accessories, but love and support. I'm sure you two give her plenty, but yes.. Spoil her here and there, but don't make it habit over that reason.
2016-03-18 08:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by Gail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is only doing this for recreation, then I think he should be more considerate with the length of time he goes for.
If it were me, Id say 2 or 3 days at a time , no more than that. Do you get to go out and do whatever you want for a week at a time while he stays at home with the kids? Its a 2 way street!
Its great to have time for yourself in marriage, but there has to be some compromise.
2006-10-12 20:51:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find something great about it, like you don't really have to clean the house every day or you can stay up late watching chick-flicks or whatever floats your boat. Hey, this can be a vacation for you too! My hubby likes to come home after being gone for a few days now. He can't sleep very well without me, so, I have one up on him lol.
Let him have separate interests and get some of your own. If you feel that lonely, call somebody else and just be happy to see him when he returns.
2006-10-12 20:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by my2cents 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG..these people on here are RIDICULOUS!!!! This is her husband we are talking about, not some boyfriend she has been with for a month or two ("oh, men need there space, quality time, and blahblahblah, find a hobby ) Are you people actually telling her to accept how he is treating her,
NO SISTER PUT YOUR DAMN FOOT DOWN THATS WHAT YOU DO.
What if something happens to the kids ..or to her, HE DOESNT EVEN CHECK UP ON HIS FAMILY..THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A HUSBAND..NOT ONE THAT GIVE A FLYIN' F**K ANYWAY.
THATS THE CRAZIEST LOAD OF CRAP I HAVE EVER HEARD...YOU NEED TO TELL HIM TO SHAPE UP..EVEN IF YOU DO FIND A HOBBY OF YOUR OWN..DOES THAT MEAN YOUR FAMILY COMES IN SECOND TO THAT...HELL NO...
WIFE AND FAMILY COME FIRST AND FORMOST..TOO ANY DEER OR WHATEVER...IF THATS EVEN WHAT HE IS DOING...
EVEN IF HE DOES NEED TIME AWAY..IF HE IS NOT OUT THERE DOIN SOMEONE ELSE..BECAUSE HONESTLY HONEY, IM GONNA KEEP IT REAL..THATS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE...BUT IF HE IS NOT..WHY WOULD ANY LOVING HUSBAND WANT TO BE OUT OF REACH FROM HIS FAMILY FOR SEVEN DAYS WITH NOT ONE PHONE CALL..IF HE MUST GO..HE BETTER GET A SATALITE PHONE, OR INSTALL A PHONE IN THE CABIN..OR THEN YES YES YES..TELL HIM DONT GO ANYMORE PERIOD!!! TAKE HOLD OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR MARRIAGE. THATS JUST SICKENING. NO..NOT YOU..BUT THAT BS ABOUT HIM...AND THEN THE BS THESE PEOPLE ARE SHOOTING YOU..
AND YES MANY WIVES ARE WITH HUSBANDS WHO ARE GONE LONGER THAN THAT..BOO HOO..THATS WHAT THEY SIGNED UP FOR THEN, THEY KNEW WHAT THEY WHERE GETTING INTO AND THEY ACCEPTED THAT..BUT IF THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN, AND YOUSIGNED UP FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT..THEN PUT THAT MAN IN HIS PLACE. ALL YOU ARE ASKING FOR IS A LITTLE RESPECT AND SOME CONSIDERATION, A PHONE CALL EVERY NIGHT WONT KILL HIM...UNLESS HE IS UP TO KNOW GOOD AND THE OTHER WOMAN DOESNT KNOW HE IS MARRIED..USE YOUR HEAD SISTER PLEASE.
2006-10-12 20:43:25 · answer #7 · answered by RAW29 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just let him know that it's necessary that u get a hold of him just in case of emergency. U don't need to be sitting at home feeling lonely whenever he goes out and does his own thing.
Yes, it's different for military wives because like in my husband's case...he can't call me, whether he wants to or not, because he is in a submarine underneath the water somewhere. So it's not like he can just up and call me whenever he wants to. Only when he gets to port. Your husband, on the other hand, has a choice to call u and I don't know why he's making this difficult on u.
2006-10-12 20:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute!!! Hunting for 7 days? You buy that one? I could hunt down Sasquasach, the loch ness monster, five leprecauns, Amelia Earheart, and the Wizard of Oz in less than 7 days, sweetie. What else do you believe in? The Easter Bunny?
2006-10-12 20:33:29 · answer #9 · answered by Raptor 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It’s not like he is going hunting every week its a guy think that most of women do not understand Hunting Fishing Camping that stuff guys love it u can join him if u want
don’t be so attached to him when he go hunting u go shopping or to a spa or something in that way u will not feel lonely good luck
2006-10-12 20:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by jesica 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋