In general, is virginity frowned upon once you grow up? Does anyone value or appreciate it anymore? Why?(to either answer)
2006-10-12 20:18:21 · 26 answers · asked by Teoshe 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Besides the obvious reasons, virginity shows respect for yourself as well your future husband. Forget pier pressures and Hollywood and you will always know in your memories that you saved yourself for your future husband. I would say that is appreciated and something you can always be proud of. A good man wants a good woman, though he may want your sexually, if he honors and respects you then he can wait. Just as the wedding vows say.
2006-10-12 20:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by AJ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Virginity is valued. Virgins are frowned on. It doesn't make sense. Almost everyone loves the concept of virginity. Then when they hear about an actual virgin, they say things like "What's the matter with him?" and "She must be so ugly she never found a guy that'd have her." It's very unfair.
I value chastity but I think sometimes people take it too far with valuing virginity. I felt like crap when I was a teenager because I had someone in church tell me how lucky I was that I could be a virgin when I married. I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut and never went back to that church. I had been molested and raped for years before that and I was too ashamed to admit it. I knew that not telling was lying by omission and I was just getting myself deeper in sin every moment that I didn't correct the person. There is a PSA up here where teens give their reasons for waiting to have sex. Most of it is very good but there is one that I can't stand. The girl says she's waiting because it's the most precious gift she can give. I keep feeling like yelling at her "What about a hunk of your liver? That'll do someone a lot more good than just being the first."
2006-10-12 20:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by Kuji 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes its valued but its hard to find something that can actually stay that way...i wish i would have all the time but i can go back. its only frowned upon by youngsters having sex...they seem to think everyone should be doing it which is so not the case..if you are a virgin i suggest you wait for marriage or at least until you KNOW for a fact you are ready and love the person dearly
2006-10-12 20:26:06 · answer #3 · answered by hwall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only answer that matters is the answer that you give yourself.
There are lots of very good reasons for preserving one's virginity (as a girl) and there are just some good reasons for not doing so. It is surely just a question of one's own morality.
Exclude religion from the equation. Look at yourself as an independent human being and assess the risks and the consequences. You know what they are.
It also depends on where you are in the world and the local culture that surrounds you ...
2006-10-12 20:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is still valued by many. I'm 20 and have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years (we broke up for 2 mo. this summer & that's it) & we made a decision that long ago to save sex for marriage. However, when we were broken up, he did a LOT of things that he wishes he hadn't.
One of those things is sleep with 2 other girls. When we got back together, it was very hard for me to imagine him with them after we had waited so long & not done it. However, the situation did make him realize how special sex is & finally learned that it is something that should be preserved for marriage. He also tells me constantly how much he respects me so much because virtuous girls are very few and far between these days. We have a wonderful relationship now & there is NO pressure to have sex because we made that decision beforehand.
On the other hand, there are just so many concequences these days of having sex before marriage- especially if you're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you & trust me, NOTHING is 100% "safe."
3 of my 5 best friends got pregnant within 2 years that we graduated highschool. They were all 3 with the same guy they had been with for over 3 and 4 years, but imagine if they hadn't been so lucky as to be out of highschool.
Obviously, it's your choice whether to wait or not, but just think about how God wants you to be pure on your wedding night & you don't want to confess to your future husband how many other guys you've been with. And remember, if you ABSOLUTELY can't wait until marriage, be smart about it- "safe" sex.
2006-10-13 04:10:16 · answer #5 · answered by ELLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People vary from culture to culture. In America, where being a virgin sometimes makes you feel like some freak of nature, not a lot of people ACT like they care, but it is, in a way, almost a badge of courage. It means you have stood your moral ground and kept your firm stand for what you felt was right . You said NO! when you didn't want to do something that "Everyone ELSE is doing!!" and held your principles and standards dear to yourself.
Believe me or don't, but I was proud to be a virgin on my wedding night and I waited til I was 28 and I just got married 7 years ago! I was proud of that fact and so was my husband. I was his second wife and he was Really impressed That I had waited so long. It wasn't like I hadn't had opportunities... oh no...or offers! LOL OR the desire to do something about it!! I had all of those! But I wanted to stick close to my Christian upbringing and to Please my God.
Plus, think about it, LOOK at all the garbage you AVOID when you DO remain Chaste-- STDs, unwanted pregnancies, pregnancy SCARES....boyfriend problems.....Low self esteem problems happen to alot of active young women who start having sex young, and a dozen other things I could go on about.
If you are still a virgin, I applaud you and congratulate you. I think you're brave and strong and should be commended.Stick to your guns and don't let anyone of today's stupid stupid stupid standards bring you down!!
2006-10-12 20:29:30 · answer #6 · answered by heatherlovespansies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Only by the highly religious . the rest have a more open view . that when the circumstances are right both will lose their virginity.
While it is praised that both are virgins and that they have waited until they meet a mate that they wanted to marry is a sign of inner strength and commitment.
But in the real world it is supposed that each has had some experiences both good and bad in trying to find the right mate.
2006-10-12 20:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, virginity IS frowned upon when people grow up.
2006-10-15 17:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by me8md 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a person gets past the mid 20's it becomes less a sign of purity and faith, and more a sign of naivete' and a general lack of date-ablility... Religious virgins should stick together, date each other, marry each other. No one else really cares anymore.... Sorry, but that's modern culture. A refusal to enjoy an enjoyable activity with a person you like should be considered a sin against your own body...
2006-10-12 20:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by Angela M 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes ..I value it very much ..I like to think the girl I am marring will only know me in sex ..and not every Tom .Dick.and .Harry,,it dose make a grate deal of difference ..i go as far as saying it's a must that she is virgin on the wedding night..
It must be terrible to walk down the road with your wife
while man smile at her because they shagged her
or your having sex and may be your not as good as one of her x b/f and she has to imagine him doing it ..
That's why a virgin it must be ..only know you and no one else where sex is concerned
if she is not virgin on the wedding night ..OUT SHE GOES
2006-10-12 20:43:14 · answer #10 · answered by JJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋