I am married with two kids. I used to have a husband who emotionally abuses me and who dislikes my parents very much. Lately, he has been very possessive but improved his treatment of me, by being more loving and supportive. The reason,he suspects me of having an affair with my instructor. It is true. I am totally attracted to my instructor.Problem is,he's married with kids too. Although we never spoke about it,we knew, we would never leave our family. Now,Iam in love with him but he's avoiding me. I have asked to breakup but he doesn't want to and he still insist he wants me but needs time to work things out. What exactly does that mean? Meantime,i am thinking of going back to my husband who lately is trying very hard to make our marriage work for the kids'sake.What should I do? Torn between love,lust and obligation..I have stopped seeing my boyfriend socially but still have classes wth him. I am not able to control myself anymore when he's near me.I am scared of losing it! help!
2006-10-12 19:39:33 · 8 answers · asked by angelheart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok, looky here. Your instructor is not free, right. He is married with kids like you, right? He does not want to go on with you, but you both are still attracted to each other. Big, deal, that means that you are having an affair that will lead to no where. Get the heck out of this mess right now, go back to your husband and get on with your life. You are seeing this man as the dream man, but if you were married, it would be boring, and the same old stuff you have now, and besides, he only wants you to have an affair with. Get out of the class, and save your marriage. You will get over it with time, and believe me, he is just someone in your dreams, when you live a life as you are doing now with your husband, guess what, he just becomes another husband and has the same old habits and will run around on you too. Wake up. If you lose it, you are a fool.
2006-10-12 19:55:16 · answer #1 · answered by shardf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop your classes all together. How on earth are you meant to find things any easier when you are still seeing the man you have been having an affair with? Tell your husband that you would like to try and make things work too. Also tell him you have stopped your classes so there are no suspicions to get in the way. Give the relationship a go but with a zero tolerance policy on violence etc. If anything gets remotely out of hand, end it. Good luck.
2006-10-12 19:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by claire 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Also, I don't feel the need to be physically intimate anymore. I feel our relationship should mature from physical to mental level since we are not newlyweds." Oh boy. I bet your husband did not sign up for a lifetime of celibate marriage. It's a pity you feel that way about something so natural and enjoyable. And if you really think you are superior to happy couple who still have sex lives, you can stuff it. Wanting sex does not make you a teenager. If you have lost your sex drive, that's your loss. But it's you who has lost something, not everyone who is holding on to something that is nice and natural. "How can I free him from his sinful urges and make him realize that his task is to save for children's education, pray and make the world a better place?" Praying. Yeah, that really helps. Honestly, screwing would be more productive, at least two people have fun that way. He doesn't have to reform. Obviously, you two have extremely different ideas about what married life should be like (and yours is crazy), and it would be a pity for you to spend your lives in misery because of it. So go on and divorce. Fundamentalists like you have such a high divorce rate, it'll be fine.
2016-05-21 22:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
neither relationship is built on a good premise ... your husband needs to work out his part in creating an environment that was abusinve that drove you to cheat on him to figure out if he can forgive and put it behind you. ... your lover isn;t about to blow off his marriage to be with you, but doesn;t want to close the door on sex in the future ... do yourself a favor and change schools to remove his influence and focus on your marriage. ... face it, your lover doesn;t want a cheater so that relationship is over .. hopefully you can salvage your marriage and hopefully your husband and you will get counselling together to stop the abuse.
2006-10-12 19:55:10 · answer #4 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to look else where for love instead of with an Ex or a married man!
2006-10-12 19:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lust doesn't give you cuddles, listen to your problems, make you feel loved in any way....give your husband a chance to make things right and forgive him of the past of coarse he needs counselling for the problems he has but he loves you to want to try again...don't go near the boyfriend put distance between you and him
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2006-10-12 19:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Choose.
2006-10-12 19:41:29 · answer #7 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You have kids..
That's a commitment bigger than marriage..
Think of them..
:-)
2006-10-12 19:47:14 · answer #8 · answered by Andreba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋